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CaptainTrips222
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07 Jun 2010, 10:33 pm

If you're not familiar with facebook, here's how that works. You send them a request. They can add you, which they will usually do so immediately if they will at all, or they can deny you outright. I hate it, though, when people leave you in their box for eternity. Accept me or reject me, don't leave me in limbo, jerks!

Or they leave you for months. It's weird.



Ferdinand
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07 Jun 2010, 10:44 pm

I hate this.


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07 Jun 2010, 11:21 pm

Don't worry about it. It's quite possible that the first time they signed in after you sent the request they saw it and went, "I'll get to that later," and end up forgetting all about it. If it's someone you really want to get in touch with, send them a message jokingly asking if they spend this much time deciding what to wear each morning.



Descartes
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07 Jun 2010, 11:29 pm

Unfortunately, I do that a lot. If I receive friend requests from people whom I don't know, then I just ignore them. I don't want to reject them because I don't want to insult them.



passionatebach
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08 Jun 2010, 12:59 am

For me, it is the person behind the friend request, moreso than the friend request itself.

What I find irksome is when someone lets your friend request sit in limbo (especially if it is someone you have some ties to), and you start seeing in your status updates that so and so added so and so as a friend. It makes me wonder, what did I do to be ignored in a sense? If I don't see any status updates from that person, I realize they have probably not been on Facebook in awhile.

On a different tangent, but on the subject of friend requests, I am also mystified as to why someone would add you as a friend, but either ignore you, or get downright terse with you when you send them a message or write on their wall. I have had this happen a couple of times and don't quite understand it (one of the people was a close friend at one time).

How people use Facebook and other social networking is a interesting culture unto itself that we are only just beginning to figure out.



ADHDorASDorBoth
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08 Jun 2010, 5:54 am

What is facebook anyway? I used it for a while but when I realised that people just blathered on about "breaking a nail" or stuff like that, I just thought......omg, am I so strange or are they strange?

Before the internet, people had limited social mixing opportunities. Now, people can spend a long time seeing/checking out friends of friends on social networking sites. You could not do this in real life, which is far more important for real socialisation (if you can do that, which I'm not too good at or just not interested in).
The online world has created some good and some bad things.
Good is information spread and learning, (sites like this for instance.....what would people do without them, rely on local SOCIAL support groups...it is not always possible is it?) if you know where to look and how to analyse the data.
Bad is someone who you totally don't know, looking at your profile, thinking about you in ways which you may not think healthy (for any reason) and obsessing about you....I think that, the less your life profile, the safer you are..

Some people want to be noticed, with the result that one day they encounter someone who makes them wish they were never ever noticed again.

Of course, referring to dating etc, what do you feel is safer: going to a pub, nightclub where you can see how someone behaves or dealing with online.

Anyway, about friends....
I'm not sure what a friend is to be honest.
If someone lives next door to you and you see them for chats, hobbies, every day, for years, without fail, thats great.
However, how is the friendship affected when they are 1, 10, 50, 500, 5000 miles away permanently?
Does it affect your friendship status?

I have a saying: The less I see of people, the less I need to see of them, whereas the more I see, the more I like to see. (only if I like them as people of course)



CaptainTrips222
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08 Jun 2010, 12:25 pm

passionatebach wrote:

What I find irksome is when someone lets your friend request sit in limbo (especially if it is someone you have some ties to), and you start seeing in your status updates that so and so added so and so as a friend. It makes me wonder, what did I do to be ignored in a sense? If I don't see any status updates from that person, I realize they have probably not been on Facebook in awhile.


Yeah, that bugs me too, that I can actually see they're adding others, but I go ignored. But I guess that's when you know where you stand, huh?



CaptainTrips222
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08 Jun 2010, 8:43 pm

I also hate it when someone you thought liked you turns you down.



passionatebach
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09 Jun 2010, 8:18 pm

CaptainTrips222 wrote:
I also hate it when someone you thought liked you turns you down.


I have had this happen to me on a few occasions. Sometimes I understand why this is the case, people may only add family, for example. On the other. it upsets me as to why people I went to school with have no time for me, even though I had a good relationship with them growing up. My friend who was the mayor comes to mind in this situation. What makes that situation bad is the fact, that here is a person, who I probably have a lot in common with, could share interesting conversations with him, but again turns me down every time I make a friend request. There are bigger issues outside of Facebook though.



Soledad
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09 Jun 2010, 8:55 pm

This happens to me all the TIME. I hate it. A guy who sat right next to me in class left my friend request in limbo once. and I sat next to him for 3 months prior to sending him the request. I asked him about it and he git all stupid and said

"Why do I need to add you, we are talking to each other right here". I just left the situation alone and 2 days later he sends a request and I just approve it...cuz im like f**k it.

People always have the most ridiculous reasons for denying you. Some say they dont know you enough and some say its no reason for me to add you since you are sitting right next to me, while the real reason is because they just don't like you.

To the OP, the reason why your requests are left in limbo is obviously because they don
t want to approve you. and the reason for that is really because they don't like you. There is a girl that I had a class with and she denies me all the time I dont understand it. Another girl denied me as well, and deleted my brother. I tell my brother about it and he goes "idc, f her". But to me its a big deal.

Most people don't care which makes it hard to talk about it, which is probably the reason you came here. I try to talk about it, but most people don't care so I'm left wondering. I asked my other brother why he leaves friend requests up there and he said nothing and shrugged his shoulders. I just don't get it. so I quit asking.



CaptainTrips222
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10 Jun 2010, 9:13 am

Soledad wrote:

To the OP, the reason why your requests are left in limbo is obviously because they don
t want to approve you. and the reason for that is really because they don't like you.


You're not psychic buddy. Even if it's likely the case, don't assume things you can't know.



Blackball
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10 Jun 2010, 12:15 pm

I hate that. You can also block them and then unblock them to retract the request.



muffrudge
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10 Jun 2010, 1:42 pm

Someone denied my friend request a while ago. The bit I don't understand is why people do this despite being in regular contact with you - this means you could easily confront them or start giving them the cold shoulder, either way making things pretty awkward for them. All of this can be avoided if they just accept the friend request, and I just don't see what difference it makes when they see you most days anyway! Having you on Facebook doesn't necessarily mean they have to endure any additional interaction with you and even if you were make the occasional attempt at communication, a wall post once in a while isn't gonna kill anyone.

So what I wonder is, do people only deny your friend requests when they're trying to tell you something? Or do they think you won't know? Or that there's no way you'll confront them about it, or that any mutual friends/acquaintances you tell will think any the less of them? The same applies to leaving requests in limbo, pretty much. It's just beyond pettiness IMO, and it would't occur to me to deny anyone unless I hated them and they knew it.



Soledad
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10 Jun 2010, 3:19 pm

CaptainTrips222 wrote:
Soledad wrote:

To the OP, the reason why your requests are left in limbo is obviously because they don
t want to approve you. and the reason for that is really because they don't like you.


You're not psychic buddy. Even if it's likely the case, don't assume things you can't know.


you're right, but let's use common sense. come on.



CaptainTrips222
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11 Jun 2010, 2:11 am

Soledad wrote:
CaptainTrips222 wrote:
Soledad wrote:

To the OP, the reason why your requests are left in limbo is obviously because they don
t want to approve you. and the reason for that is really because they don't like you.


You're not psychic buddy. Even if it's likely the case, don't assume things you can't know.


you're right, but let's use common sense. come on.


I am using common sense. I don't presuppose everybody who doesn't add me must have a dislike for me, especially in the cases where we only had a few conversations and never had an established relationship. Although, like I said, it's certainly possible. You sound so sure of yourself, and you don't know me, probably anybody I'm talking about, and certainly don't know why they turned me down.