Feeling really sad and disappointed about this friend

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I met her at my Aspie group. Several months back we went to the mall together and had a fabulous time. Since then i've tried asking her to do other things. Usually no response. For instance, I know she enjoys walking. I'm a bit shy on the phone with her just now, so we normally email. I asked her if she wanted to go on a walk with me sometime. I didn't get a response in a few days so I emailed again. She said sure but when. I told her I thought we could figure something out, when was she available. I never got a response.

Then the other day she emailed me and said she wanted to hang out, I Said okay, and she suggested seeing a movie, or hanging out downtown. I said both were fine and what days/times was she available. She said "tomorrow." She wrote this at 10:00 at night. So I responded and said tomorrow is great, and what time and where. No response.

So on friday, my Aspie group went to the book store. She see's me and says she wants to do something with me, maybe see a movie. I say sure and tell her when i'm available (every day except Tuesdays). She has a crush on a mutual friend form the Aspie group, she hasn't told me, but everyone knows as it's blatantly obvious. So she says to me "Oh Great! I'll ask "John" and we can see Iron man 2!" or something like that. I told her I hadn't seen the first, but I'd be willing to go if it was a friend. My mom was there and I mentioned to her that I was just looking for "girl time" and how should I tell her? My mom told her, pretty obviously That I was hoping we could have some "girl time." She says "great! I'll talk to "John." and if he isn't available, we can still do something!" She also said not to call her, just to email.

John does not want a romantic relationship with this girl. So That night I get an email, and she says Wednesday is good, and she will email me Wednesday morning for more info. I said that would be great. I spent time worrying that because John doesn't know how to tell her he doesn't like her, i'd be the third wheel, and feeling like they were kind of using me as a buffer because they haven't hung out since a very awkward thing happened between them (they were wrestling (?!) and she kneed him in the groin). I was very worried, and not at all looking forward to this by the time Tuesday night rolled around.

Tuesday Night she emails me the times of a show and says John can't make it. I breathed a sigh of relief, and emailed her back. The choices were 11:00, 12:40 2:00 4:40 and a bunch of other times later at night. I was glad she had taken the initiative to find out the times, and I told her 4:40 would be good. My mom was there and said actually 2:00 would be best.(she has to drive me.) So I quickly wrote her back and said 2:00.

Wednesday morning, no response, But since the email from last night had come in just as I logged on, I thought she gotten it, or would have at least checked. So, 2:00 rolls around and we're at the place waiting. She didn't show up! I went home and checked my email. at 1:45 she sent me a message saying sorry, she couldn't make it she was out that morning and had plans until the 4:40 showing, and was 4:40 better or did I want to do it another time. I said 4:40 was best, because by the time I had gotten home and checked my email it would be time to leave to get to the 4:40 showing.

We got there, and once again she didn't show up. By now i'm getting the feeling she's leading me on. So em and my mom saw the movie, and then i went home. I checked my email, and she sent me one at 4:34 saying she couldn't meet me, she had just gotten home and had to take her dog for a walk. This really hurt my feelings.

I don't know what to do. should I still try to be friends with her? I am going to send her an email and tell her that she hurt my feelings.

I've just gotten rid of a friend like that. Leading me on and cutting me off. It also comes to show that there's good and bad, in everyone. I remember the time that I was in college. I was friends, with this aspie who started out , being a sweet and gentle man, he turned out to be a real jerk, treating me like I was really slow and hurting my feelings. I don't miss that girl who cut me off, or the man who treated me like dirt under his feet, one bit. I'm moving on, oh yeah!

I'm sorry that things had to turn out that way, for you. It should never happen to anybody. A friend acts like a friend, at all times, and I hope that you feel better, soon.

Heh. Last year I met an aspie girl that wanted friends with benefits; but, she cheats on everyone and she and I were exact opposites in every way possible. Sorry, I'm not a fwb kind of man. I'm grateful that I'm not friends with her anymore. Yeah, I know...(are you crazy?! !! Free sex!!) No. I'm not crazy. I am a relationship kind of guy, and we had NOTHING in common. I don't take advantage of women either.

I have had friends like you describe in your post. They come acrossed as extremely interested in friendship , and abruptly later, they drop the bomb on the friendship and at times have even ceased contact with me.

I have an ongoing situation with a friend that treats me this way. He was my best friend in late elementary school/duration of middle school. He spent lots of time with my family due to him homelife during this period. He was later removed from his mother's home, then went to live with his grandparents and his life took off from there. Since then, his life has been moderately successful.

There have been times after he was removed from his mother's home that I have contacted him. He shows interest and acknowledgement of what I am doing with my life, etc. Usually a short time later he drops the ball (usually via e-mail) and says that we can't have a close friendship like we did when we were in school. This has happened to me a couple of times already including one e-mail that included tons of obscenities and name calling.

A couple of months ago, this friend and I found each other on Facebook and became Facebook "friends". I have left well enough alone with him for the most part, but about a week ago, he said on Facebook that he was taking donations to sponser him and his wife in a race for a cause that I have some strong feelings about. I responded to his wall post and said I would be happy to send him a small donation for his sponsership and the cause, just give me an address to send money to. I haven't yet heard anything from him, and he has been on Facebook since. I am so afraid that he wil reply with same terse diatribes that he used in the past with me. I guess we will have to wait and see.

I don't understand people and why they are like this. Furthermore, this friend of mine is somewhat of a popular person which I don't understand either.

Okay. See how (and if) she responds.

If she was going to change plans like that she should have called, not e-mailed. Either she wasn't thinking about how the timing would go in terms of when you'd be able to check your e-mail and still get to the movie theater, or was purposely trying to blow you off/push you away.

If it's the latter, her previous behavior tells me that she's (possibly) uneasy about getting close to a female friend. Maybe she was really hoping to get close to "John," though she should NOT have tried to get you involved.

It's also possible that she's totally clueless about how her behavior hurt you. Not making excuses, btw, just trying to understand what's going on here.

If she really doesn't get it and/or doesn't care, stop trying to be friends with her. She may not know how to be a friend yet.

Sorry this happened to you. Try not to let it bother you for too long. Hope you feel better soon.

I sent her an email and I told her how I was feeling. I think I did it in a ncie way (and I showed it to my mom before I sent it, so I think i'm good) I feel much better about ti. I just don't know how to deal with this kind of thing very well.

Glad you're feeling better.

Dealing with this kind of thing is not easy for anyone. The e-mail was a good idea.

Let us know how this goes, take care.

That was a good thing to do at least you feel better now.

Since I know both her and you IRL I thought I'd give my input on this whole sticky situation. Her (and a certain tall, skinny blond-haired fellow Aspie-ette, whom you met back in December) both get crushes on guys WAAAAAAY too easily!! At least that's what I think. Some girls are just like this. I know the girl in question (withholding from using her name since it seemed like you had some concerns about it) is 20 years old, so you would think that her "sea of raging hormones" would have "ebbed" by now (as Meg says in "Hercules" - love that movie, lol ) But keep in mind also that this might be an area in which she is still going through despite her age, after all, sometimes people just work that way (I know I've been a "late-bloomer" on one too many things in my life!! ) The blond-haired Aspie girl (whose name I am withholding for similar reasons to the ones previously mentioned) is only about a year or two younger than she is, and it seems like she still has some romantic issues (for lack of a better term - hope I didn't sound too offensive in saying that) she's trying to tackle.

That's about all I can surmise from all this. Sorry