Board index › Coping in life › Social Skills and Making Friends

Another Should I let it go thread?

Page 1 of 1 [ 2 posts ] 

Previous topic | Next topic

Peko
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Feb 2008
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,381
Location: Eastern PA, USA

01 Jul 2010, 2:06 pm

If I post this in the wrong area sorry, please move/delete cause I'm but not sure where it fits.
A friend (A) of mine posted something recently on FB about pming random stuff you always wanted to tell her & that got me wondering if I should this thing I knew about but ended up having another friend (B) convey b/c she knows her better than I do. Short version of the story is my sister told me A's boyfriend had supposedly raped her one gay guy friend when they were in 7th grade (a few years ago). She didn't want to tell A about the rumor when we discovered she was dating this guy but the idea of her not knowing made me very uncomfortable. So I told another friend B b/c she knows A very well and has experience w/ rape related issues. B conveyed what I told her to A via a phone call so I wouldn't risk upsetting her. (A & I haven't spoken as much since I went to college & I was concerned she wouldn't believe me) She'd heard the rumor & claimed to believe it was just a rumor based on what the guy told her. Now they've broken up (B, I & others are glad) & I've been wondering if A should know how to rumor started or if its just unnecessary old news? The thing is as she's friends w/ my sister its extremely likely she associates w/ the guy who her ex supposedly raped, so I know I don't want to tell her who her ex hurt b/c that's not my place & she'd most likely figure out who it is on her own. (I think it should come from him & know one else.) I'm not ordinarily one to be intentionally judgmental or start rumors but when I heard this I was concerned for A's safety. I'm just kinda getting annoyed with being a magnet for this kind of stuff :?.

p.s. A is the friend whose boyfriend had a rape rumor stuck on him & B is the girl who asked her if she knew about it. Also, when I told B I never gave identifying info on the guy friend of my sister b/c I avoid doing that beyond my sister's guy friend & possibly 1st name may have slipped (unfortunately).


_________________
Balance is needed within the universe, can be demonstrated in most/all concepts/things. Black/White, Good/Evil, etc.
All dependent upon your own perspective in your own form of existence, so trust your own gut and live the way YOU want/need to.


Chantico
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 22 Jun 2010
Age: 44
Gender: Female
Posts: 71
Location: Melbourne

01 Jul 2010, 3:56 pm

Peko, I think I need a diagram to understand what you've just written. It's not your fault, just there's so much drama going on here.

Quote:
She'd heard the rumor & claimed to believe it was just a rumor based on what the guy told her. Now they've broken up (B, I & others are glad) & I've been wondering if A should know how to rumor started or if its just unnecessary old news? The thing is as she's friends w/ my sister its extremely likely she associates w/ the guy who her ex supposedly raped, so I know I don't want to tell her who her ex hurt b/c that's not my place & she'd most likely figure out who it is on her own. (I think it should come from him & know one else.) I'm not ordinarily one to be intentionally judgmental or start rumors but when I heard this I was concerned for A's safety. I'm just kinda getting annoyed with being a magnet for this kind of stuff Confused.

I think you're letting yourself be a magnet to be honest. They've split, so it's old news and there's no use sticking your neck out (you weren't the only one spreading rumours, but the others aren't about to come forward so you will get all the blame).

It's up to your sister's friend if he wants to share his story with your friend. It's also up to her if she choses to believe it or not. Since you are not directly involved, then I would stay clear and not get involved.