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The_Face_of_Boo
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27 Jun 2010, 12:22 pm

I call them IM e-acquaintances because I don't believe in e-friendship or e-friends....

Ever had e-acquaintances that you chatted with a lot and suddenly disappeared or suddenly sign in very rarely?

This happens so often with me.



League_Girl
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27 Jun 2010, 1:07 pm

I had a online boyfriend and we were very close and he has even gotten me several Christmas presents. But the problem was he lived in New Jersey and I would love to meet him and be close. But then one day he stopped coming online. But when he did come online again months later, he didn't come on IM and he ignored my PMs and claimed he was too busy to answer me. He said he had been working his butt off to save up for an apartment and I gave up on him. I never had a online relationship again. I didn't see the point if you will never met them. I didn't have the money to travel.

I have also had other friends who stopped coming on as well.



IdahoRose
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27 Jun 2010, 1:51 pm

I'm guilty of being the online acquaintance who disappears. Whenever I start talking to someone, I feel really social and excited about getting to know them, but it seems like the closer we get, the more likely it is for me to all of a sudden stop visiting with them. I'm afraid of getting close to people, because I don't want to be really emotionally invested in them in case they decide that they don't want to be my friend anymore. It all goes back five years ago, when my best friend turned her back on me. I had completely trusted her with all my heart, and I thought we would be friends forever. The things she said and did to me were devastating. I've had a lot of difficulty handling friendships ever since then, even online ones. I just don't ever want someone to hurt me like my former friend did. That's why I prefer to end friendships on my own terms.



TechnicalPacifist
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27 Jun 2010, 2:09 pm

Back in the days, this used to happen a couple of times. Nowadays? Nah. Don't make acquaintances anymore.



MONKEY
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27 Jun 2010, 3:55 pm

Yes that has happened, but sometimes I do rekindle those e-friendships and after a while of inactivity we've started talking again.
I enjoy making online friends because it's so easy.


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Pistonhead
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27 Jun 2010, 5:16 pm

I'm one of the people that pulls disappearing acts. I do it when things go wrong and I don't feel like ruining everyone elses life.



Tim_Tex
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27 Jun 2010, 9:45 pm

I have had that happen to me numerous times.

The worst part is that it is usually someone who has the same interests as me and is fun to talk to.


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Ivanhowzer
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28 Jun 2010, 4:22 am

Ever since I was 15 (I'm 19 tomorrow ;D), I've never known how to make IRL friends, and I got very sucked into finding people to "make freinds" with over the internet.

After a while, I started travelling around to meet these people and I gained a lot of confidence with IRL encounters because I sort of knew the person I was meeting, but at the same time, it was the first time I'd seen them.

For me, it was a brilliant medium between the comfort zone of conversing with someone you knew for ages and trying to build a social relationship with someone totally new.

I digress slightly, but I have experienced that people do disappear, they become uninterested, or their life changes, or they just don't go online much...

The most common thing that causes this is the development of a human being. Someone once said, "It is a beautiful thing that if you, changing, are still able to love a changed person" and it is absolutely true. There are people that we click and connect with but somewhere down the line, over time, you will change, and just may not be compatible anymore.

People notice this, but they don't know what it is, but people do start to drift away or even disappear all together. It's a sad way to lose someone you had even the tiniest of relationships with, but possibly why it's better to try and move onto making friends with IRL people.



SoSayWeAll
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28 Jun 2010, 8:15 pm

Yeah, that happened with someone I used to chat with a lot...and I'm very worried.


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League_Girl
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28 Jun 2010, 11:01 pm

I have heard stories about where a online friend all of a sudden stops coming online so the friend gets worried about her so he starts calling her or emailing her just to see what she has been up to and if she is alright. Then all of a sudden the friend finds out his online friend is calling him a stalker. It happened to one of my online friends. One of his good friends stopped signing on IM and he got worried about her, especially when Katrina occurred and she lived where it hit also. So he thought maybe she was effected by the hurricane. But then he was on a site where he saw her telling everyone there what a stalker he is and all. He was upset about it so I told him just go there and explain to everyone he was worried about her and she wasn't online anymore so he wanted to make sure she was all right. He wasn't trying to stalk her. Turns out she blocked him and she blocked other people too for a reason. I never understand that behavior some people have. I mean if they all of a sudden stop coming online, what do they expect? Same as when they decide to block their friend if they talked a lot. Their friend could worry about them and start trying to contact them just to make sure they are all right.

Then few years later she apologized to him and he accepted it and took her back which I thought was dumb of him. I wouldn't have taken her back because of how she treated him during the whole thing.



Tim_Tex
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04 Jul 2010, 10:44 pm

^^

That actually happened to me. She did apologize, and I feel like I should take her back because I feel that nobody else would want me because I'm not liberal.


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Soledad
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04 Jul 2010, 10:54 pm

League_Girl wrote:
I have heard stories about where a online friend all of a sudden stops coming online so the friend gets worried about her so he starts calling her or emailing her just to see what she has been up to and if she is alright. Then all of a sudden the friend finds out his online friend is calling him a stalker. It happened to one of my online friends. One of his good friends stopped signing on IM and he got worried about her, especially when Katrina occurred and she lived where it hit also. So he thought maybe she was effected by the hurricane. But then he was on a site where he saw her telling everyone there what a stalker he is and all. He was upset about it so I told him just go there and explain to everyone he was worried about her and she wasn't online anymore so he wanted to make sure she was all right. He wasn't trying to stalk her. Turns out she blocked him and she blocked other people too for a reason. I never understand that behavior some people have. I mean if they all of a sudden stop coming online, what do they expect? Same as when they decide to block their friend if they talked a lot. Their friend could worry about them and start trying to contact them just to make sure they are all right.

Then few years later she apologized to him and he accepted it and took her back which I thought was dumb of him. I wouldn't have taken her back because of how she treated him during the whole thing.


From my experiences, men are naturally more socially kind than women. Women aren't as socially forgiving as men, which is why he probably took her back. Many women are socially small minded until they get older, and even then they still are. When men are socially small minded those are usually the jocks and stuff. But men are small minded on lots of other stuff, many times political issues, gay issues and stuff like that. That's what I have observed from my experiences. Out of my online frineds, I still have all my male ones, but the female ones are flaky and don't stay around too long. Oh well