Grumpy and POUTY when you don't get your way?!

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I think i have a really hard time when I don't get my way. I get really overrun with emotion and I storm out of places or have to get away quickly when it doesn't go the way i want. It's not in every instance, but usually when I am hoping for something that i want to do doesn't work out, someone cancels a plan, or like an opportunity that i was considered for but is given to someone else. Anyone relate or any thoughts?

I think it's related to the way that I play things out in my mind over and over and plan it all out? Then when the curveball comes, I just have no idea how to respond. (Kind of like when you plan and rehearse a conversation, but then the person doesn't say the thing you thought and the script is ruined.)

I think it throws people off because I'm suddenly really standoffish, snappy, pouty, avoidant... I don't mean to but i just fall hard into a panicky, terrified, flight or fight meltdown mode and I can't control it. I feel completely horrid and just have to get away. It's hard because i feel like I reverse all the work i do trying to build relationships and be a person that people can be friends with. I become super unpredictable and people don't want to deal with it.

Still scream like a baby over things I've no control over.
I have no idea why I let things get to me so fast.

I get like it at work, which has caused problems. If I feel I am being lumbered with too many tasks to do in such little time, I get stressed. Most other workers there seem to be able to get on with it without stressing, but me, I just get more overwhelmed than most others.

My boss does get cross with me, because she says that "everybody else manages it" and that I "cannot always get my own way all the time". I do know that, but it doesn't stop me from getting anxious. I have ADHD so I do think of everything at once and also find it difficult to keep track of time correctly, and I feel like I want to get multiple tasks done at the same time when it is physically impossible. I think I'm the only person at work with ADHD so I AM typically going to think differently when it comes to task handling. They tell me to just think one thing at a time and to not worry, but I've tried that before and it ended up in chaos; I ran out of time and didn't get everything on the list done, lost track of time, and then had a small argument with my boss over not completing everything I needed to do.

So either way it is still stressful. I just wish I was a more laid-back person with a more organised mind and got tasks done without stressing. But I'm not. My brain isn't wired that way.

So it's not that I want my own way in a narcissist or selfish way. It's just that I struggle to handle certain situations, so I take the fight or flight response.

Recent I lost it at work when my co-worker stole my work and told the boss she had to do it because I couldn't do it - I was screaming at her - although my boss wasn't there - some of my co-workers over heard what happened and are scared of me now. Not sure my boss knows what happened. My co-worker is careful around me. she still tries to bring me down now and then behind my back. Everyone at work heard what happened - I thought I was going to get fired but luckily my boss got to know that the work was mine because my co-worker couldn't explain it properly to my boss. He told me to be careful with her but asked me to be in ctrl of my emotions. I know its ugly now but when I get overwhelmed I burst.

My only coping mechanism is to talk to myself - which again makes me strange - people wonder why I talk to myself so much.