I Found Out

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I found out that I actually do prefer tp be alone. I feel socially overwhelmed. I met a girl during this summer program in college and we started having sex. Not intercourse. But now I feel like I have been worrying about girls too much. She's a nice girl, but I think I'm going to wait until I find the right one. There is another week left of the program so Im just gonna keep talking to her. she is gonna be going to a different part of the university located in a different area. I dont mind much because I actually like being alone. I actually like masturbation much more.

Also, you guys are probably wondering why Im posting this stuff in this section. I went upstaurs to the floor where everyone is and the people were nice but I just prefer my alone time much more.

It's true, the grass always seems greener on the other side but it's really not.

have any of you ever felt this way? and why might I be feeling this?

It's counterintuitive. You'd expect to be happier with being around other people. I have very little interaction with other people who are not either family or people I work with. I have interest in little else but my work. When I tried socializing more, I found that other people reacted badly when I shared my interests and that I didn't develop the unspoken arrangements that other people had for their activities and relationships, and this made me depressed. I would talk about my work, so after some time I decided that maybe I should just spend more time at work, if that's where my thoughts really are. I would also go to dinners, and feel depressed. Now I don't do these things and I restrict my interaction to people and situations that are relevant to family and work related activities. The quantity of socializing went down, but the quality and relevance went up and now I don't get depressed anymore.

Or maybe just a darker shade of brown?

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