Passing people in the street

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Is it normal for people to pretend you don't exist? Is it just me they are trying to pretend doesn't exist, or do NTs ignore each other in this manner too? I thought NTs liked people!

I am not sure what you mean by the question. Since your thread title is "Passing people in the streets" I assume you mean strangers act like you don't exist as you pass by them. Yes this happens to me all the time. I thought they all do this to each other because I see NTs walk all the time and I don't see them giving each other attention. They just keep on walking. I also ignore them too as I walk.

I'm not meaning like, in the city or something. I think you have to ignore people then or your head would hurt from nodding at people and smiling and saying hello every two seconds.

I mean like on a quiet street, or even out in the country. I feel weird if I don't acknowledge the other person somehow.

Personally, I would be startled if someone acknowledged me as I was passing by. I'd rather walk by without any hassle.

But that's coming from someone who has recently come out of social anxiety, so perhaps I'm a bit biased.

My experience with this has definitely been related to geography. I grew up on the US West Coast in California. There, it is considered downright rude to acknowledge people by look or glance and especially not verbally if you are just passing in the street. Town, country makes no difference, people there seem easily offended by any violation of the "unwritten rules".

We moved to the Houston area several years ago (the epitome of "The South" with all the "southern hospitality" connotations that are ascribed to it) and it is almost the opposite here. Normal (N/T type) people are flabbergasted, shocked and saddened when I relate what is considered "acceptable social behavior" for casual passers-by on the street on the West Coast. Here, they don't feel like you're friendly unless you at least smile and nod, it's not necessary to talk. People are very welcoming and friendly here.

I always felt persecuted in California, because I was always somehow violating the unwritten rules and committing crimes of unforgivable weirdness. But here I feel confident that people will smile at me and yet not expect me to play the "how's the weather" game in conversation. It's enough to feel seen and liked from a safe distance and I really love that.

I lived in the central California area for over 10 years and only made a couple friends. I have lived in Houston for only a couple of years, have met many likable people and have more friends now than at any other time in my life. They are mostly not particularly close friends (although there are a couple good potentials) and they come and go, but it is a nice change from the isolation. People are more open to just being friendly here than they were in California and that has had a significant impact on my ability to socialize.

I have heard from other people who have been to the Eastern US coast say that folks are similar to California there as well. Ignoring people, eyes averted, rushing everywhere, acting hostile if acknowledged in any way. My theory, FWIW, is that there are greater financial pressures on the two US coastal areas due to higher costs of living, real estate, higher pressure lifestyles and so on. So, possibly it is related to anxiety and stress. Certainly California is a stressful place to live and work despite all it's great PR as a vacation spot.

In my experience, the places where greater eye contact and social familiarity seem to be more acceptable seem to be in the more rural and country areas where there is physical space and the pace of life is a bit slower. Heck, when we went to Oklahoma, the people there actually talked slower. Physically talked slower. It creeped our California real estate agent out on the phone lol! She thought she'd talked to a somewhat mentally impaired person at first. We assured her "no they really all talk that slow out there." They were also some of the friendliest, most considerate and politest people I've ever met.

So, perhaps you might find in the UK that out in the country and rural areas people may have the time for more nods and smiles whereas on the Underground and about London, for example, they keep their eyes glued to the map overhead to avoid accidentally impinging on another's already crowded personal space.

Not sure where you live Moog, if down South then there is definitely a lack of friendliness compared to up North...although how anyone could not smile as you pass I don't know

If someone nods to me I nod back instinctually, but I'd prefer not to because even something as simple as that makes me anxious (especially if it's a total stranger).

I know what you mean Moog, or at least I think I do. This happens to me a lot, or it did anyway. People can be really hateful, and that hate stems from fear. People are afraid of things they don't understand.

I almost didn't catch your meaning there, thank you

Thank you all for your posts, I think I am understanding a bit better. I particularly liked your post, NeverFitsIn, I think you could really fit in here

Thanks! My husband & I looked at living in the London area for a while (he's a computer animator and there's a studio there). We really like the British Isles. The weather is good for our pasty nerdy geek skin lol! And the curry is fantastic! best curry I've ever had!

In Texas, people will even do the index finger wave to strangers in cars passing on lonely rural roads.

The index finger wave is where you raise your index finger while keeping your hand on the wheel. I don't know if that's specific to Texas, but just about everyone here seems to do it when they see a friend, and randomly at other times.

Wow. Of the people from those islands whom I met in Amsterdam, I found the Welsh far friendlier than the English or Irish. I didn't meet any Scots, though, and I know of their excellent reputation in the world of football (soccer).

Well North/South of England, but even looking at UK as a whole...Wales is more to the left so I don't count it as down South Welsh do tend to be a friendly lot, easily forgotten about though, not like our dear Scotts

Oh no, us city folk do not understand this peculiar behaviour. Once on holiday as a child a passing old couple said good morning to us on a quiet path. I found it so strange that it's one of my stand-out memories from the holiday. and here I am recalling it on a forum:/.