How not to be terribly annoying to NTs and other questions

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Hullo fellow community-goers,

I have come to ask if anyone would have experience in situations involving the improper communication of ideas unintentionally through messages both non-verbally and verbally, and how to resolve them; as people seem to ignore what I am saying and draw conclusions from the aether, usually of a kind detrimental to the point stated, and often are frustrated or annoyed by the contrast between the idea attempting to be expressed and the presumption firmly instated within their psyche. For instance, when expressing concerns about a serious issue which appears in the news or media (Current event) others think I jest about a matter when I am trying to be serious, or assume questions such as the 'viability of cryogenics and the ethical issues behind them' are presented as a random phrase with no meaning instead of a query waiting for an input for analysis. An especially hampering situation involves apologizing to a person for being a statistics Nazi (I never really had any experience with anyone who wasn't a 'future drug addict' (excuse my lack of political correctness, if it is not) figured since people from certain communities were less likely to 'succeed anyway, that I should go on a campaign promoting 'efficiency') and blind, naive sort of goodwill (Helping people who did not need help, deciding who needed help, etc).

As an extension to this long winded, poorly articulated ramshackle rubble of a inquiry; what actions does a person take in an extension of friendship, how do you respond to those, and how to navigate the Bermuda Triangle of Stalker, Weird Cultist, and the Over-Extrovert (When you go too far in being socially active, to the point of over saturation)

Apologies if I am asking too many things in a single forum post, new member, sorry.

Not to be unkind, but if you communicate in person similarly to how this post is written, then people may just not understand you. I have a couple advanced degrees in foreign languages and writing, have taught ESL for several years, and I have worked as an editor for four years...and I had to read this post several times.

These are the issues I suspect are causing problems:

-- Word Choice: Your use of language isn't colloquial. It seems like someone who learned English from a dictionary. That's OK -- you can use any words you like -- but it can confuse some people who aren't used to these words in everday conversation, and who, frankly, may not have as large a vocabulary as you do. I know several highly educated people with terrible vocabularies and I'm always having to dumb down my language for them (which actually took me several years to learn how to do).

-- Voice Tone: If you're asking a question and people don't seem to understand it's a question...then you may have a voice tone issue. You can learn how to correct your use of voice in books or classes on acting, or by copying what you hear in a TV show or movie conversation and then playing your voice back to hear if it matches. In language learning, we speak over TV or movie dialogue to practice pronunciation and inflection, a technique called "shadowing," and this may be useful for you, too. If voice tone is an issue, then body language likely is, too -- and the methods to learn about that are similar.

-- You may be hanging out with the wrong people. Who are "your kind"? I surround myself, outside of work, with geeks and nerds like me, who accept me as I am. None are strictly NT, though most are not on the spectrum -- they tend to be aspie-like folks, people with PTSD, and people with ADHD. They are awesome, and like me just as I am. Then at work, I try to work extra hard to fit in, which sucks. You may prefer to limit your time socializing with NTs who don't get you. But if you do want to get good at communicating with NTs, I can tell you it's a long road. I spent about ten years (from 25-35) working on myself. I did shadowing, practiced expressions in the mirror, read books on small talk and eye contact, and failed a lot more than I succeeded. I'm a lot better now, but I'll always be at least a little weird. (One shortcut some people use is to pick a person you know or who is on TV to act like around NTs...though honestly this approach can seriously mess you up, too, for all sorts of reasons, so it's better to learn separate social skills instead of adopting a social mask wholesale like this.)

So the question is -- do you want to work hard to be accepted or do you want to limit your time around NTs and accept that they are not likely to understand you? It's not an easy choice, and everyone's answer will be different.

Good luck, and please let me know if any of this sounds right or if I'm off base here. I don't know you and I'm just guessing based on very limited information.

I'm sorry but I agree with the other person. I just cannot understand or interpret the message you are trying to convey..

OP - I also was having difficulty understanding your post.

For me, I have learned that the best way to not be annoying to others is to say as little as possible. I think most NTs find what I say to be annoying and/or uninteresting.

I agree with the other posters.

When the movie "Back to the Future" was being written, they purposefully wrote each of Doc Brown's lines to be as long and complicated as possible, even when he was saying something simple. Your post was written a lot like this. It's mentally taxing for people to communicate with someone who is overly verbose.

It can also make other people feel stupid.

It sounds like you're an interesting person with a lot of interesting things to say. If you simplify what you're trying to get across, I think you'll find a big improvement in how people respond to you.