Is racism part of some social ritual I don't get?

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I've know for a very long time that my grand-mother was racist. She doesn't like arabs, blacks, tzigans or any other ethnical minorities. When I was just a child she made clear to me that she will not accept if I married a black or an arab. Anyway, on my graduation day my mother took a picture of me standing beside a man I don't know. A black man. Of course my grand-mother wanted to know who it was. To her releaf I said that I didn't know him (not that I care about she thinks). It wasn't a surprise to me that she reacted to me standing beside a black man in a photography. What shocked me was that so many other people I know and who I thought were open-minded reacted the same way.
On thing I've never understood is why it's okay to first tell your kids to be open-minded and not be racist and then to tell them things like: "You're just like an arab, when you get caught you never admit it". Why am I the only person in my family who reacts to this kind of things? Is it because racist comments are part of some kind of social ritual I don't get? Some ritual which show the other members of your family/community your lojality by talking down on others who are different than us?

My parents always taught me that racism came from ignorance and fear.

it's more of a cultural thing i think, than a social ritual.
& one that's slowly dying at that. Ideally with each succeeding generation there'll be less racism as the more racist elders of our community begin to die off.
Although in some regions where it's more ingrained, it'll prolly persist a bit longer than other places.

It's not so much as going extinct as it is getting replaced with more subtle but not necessarily less dangerous variations. "Post-racial" racism perhaps? Among the newer strains are reverse racism, white guilt...

Older generations may have been more open about expressing their racist sentiments in public than today but that does not mean we're more enlightened. We just have a more subconscious, passive-aggressive way of expressing those sentiments now.

a good point that is. That ignorance and fear can be used by politicians to manipulate citizens.
Eg. I am in Australia and it has been said that the goverment has lied about the numbers trying to get in illegally to distract people from other issues.

As did mine.

There have been times when I have been in the company of people, not friends, who come out with racist comments and I am always so taken aback that I just don't know what to say. I don't like the fact that I don't know how to react because then they probably think that I agree with them.

Racists are just mentally challenged morons. I have never met one that had any sort of sciense- or higher degree. Most of the ones i've spotted can fit into any one or more of the 3 criterias: They are poor, They live mundane lives and They are old and whiny. Nothing our civilisation can't do without.

Some of my relatives are a bit racist, i've been thinking about getting a black girlfriend from the deepest of Africa just to piss them off...

I am black. and in black households (as biased as this may sound) racism is not taught. Black people are not a judging people, because we have been through so much racism. When you watch celebrity gossip and people making fun of Britney Spears or Michael Jackson, those are usually white people, and you'll have one or two black people here and there.I have been through so much racism. Blacks do hold racist views dont get me wrong, but our racist views come from fear of having racism shown against us. My mom knows I like white women, but she doesnt want me marrying one because she's afraid that the girl's family may not accept me because I'm black. My mom is like that with every other race except blacks. When blacks are racist it's usually based off of how we have been treated or fear of how we may be treated; most of the time we are not just plain racist because we wanna be.

Just like aspies, there are many posts on here about being racists against NTs, its because we fear how we may be treated or we are upset about how we have been treated. I have been to Spain and not every gypsy person is a thief. A girl got something stolen from a gypsy, but the other gypsies who lived in the caves we cool, I actually danced with one of the girls and they were nice and pretty. And Arabs are cool too, I just fear that many of them may be racists towards blacks. So blacks are kind of like aspies, we become racist out of fear of not being accepted and being treated bad.

It's one of those things I never got . . . but it's pretty much based on fear. Group X is usually dominant, but when group Y lost it's slavery, X feared retaliation and loss of jobs. Now A, B, C, and Z has moved in, and X has to get over the fact that it's not alone in the world anymore. There will always be some underlying discord for a while (few decades more, likely), but it'll come to a halt as "interracial" breeding continues . . . we're all human anyway, and human blood is the same color everywhere.

I was taught not to be racist also, and my parents weren't racist exactly, however there are people in my family that still are. I wouldn't think of it as a social "norm" or rule. It's ignorance and fear IMO.

I come from a small town that is 98% white. There was no diversity education and no opportunity to get to know people from other cultures and ethnic backgrounds, and I think that people gravitate towared familiarity, and gravitate away from differences because of fear of the unknown. The fear I believe is from ignorance, lack of exposure and lack of education, or the wrong education. People from my home town are not outwardly prejudice, until I come home with an ethnic boyfriend. Even though I was taught all people are equal, my mom one time freaked because I was casually dating someone with Arab decent, and he wasn't even my boyfriend yet. I have moved to the DC Metro Area and here there really is no minority, everyone is different and the diversity is amazing.

I have heard that it takes 2 generations to change an idea, and if you think about it, when I was born in 1965 there were still black and white bathrooms and drinking fountains. It's amazing to me that in 4 decades we have a black president. Like him or not, that's a wonderful accomplishment. I have hopes that in my childs generation there will be none of it. He does see people by color, he see's peach or brown, depending on the color crayon he uses to draw them.

I think that's only partially true. Its easy to breed it in a climate of ignorance and fear, but humans in general discriminate against anything different.

'Racism' is a political tool, nothing more. Just a way to categorize something and focus attention away from the real issue. Hate is hate, it doesn't matter whether its directed against skin color, sexual orientation or just behavior perceived as 'odd'.



Reacted how? By asking you who he was, as if you knew him? Nothing hateful about that, unless they exclaimed "Oh, thank God!" when you said you didn't know him.



Does the term 'National Socialist Party' mean anything to you? Do a little reading on the Doctors in Nazi Germany who conducted long horrific experimental trials on innocent victims using their race as an excuse because they were thought to be inferior. These guys were not uneducated bufoons. And the minute you start to believe "Oh, that was a historical fluke - something like that could never happen now - it will. Human history is chock full of behavior like that. Just look at the kinds of things that go on in the Middle East in the name of God today.

I can never get the whole 'killing over religion' thing. Our loving and benevolent creator - our 'Father' in heaven - has ordered us to murder and butcher our brothers and sisters? Wha-???



I'm glad to hear your household was peaceful and altruistic, but I've heard too many hip-hop tunes about killing wh***y and f*cking his daughter just to upset her parents to believe that. Hatred and blame are everywhere.



Don't you wish! Evil doesn't disappear, it only changes form, chooses a different victim. There are forces in our world that thrive on negative emotion, and they breed fear and hatred, they stir up anger and worry where none need exist. Why do you think it is that though we have the technology to feed every man, woman and child on this planet, there are still people starving and shooting each other?

Everyone is racist to a certain extent those who deny it are lying.

My 2 cents.

There are two general ways to unite people.

1. Find common ground.

2. Unite against a common enemy.

The first is hard because the masses have very little in common.

The second is easier because fear is a great motivator. Propping up a false boogieman to scare people can serve as a tool to unite them. Racism is used to create hatred (or inflate existing hatred) towards an identified group.

Well, it's not like they exclaimed "Thank God!" when I said that I didn't know him, but I could tell they were worried when they asked me. Some also said " I thought so" and sounded pretty releafed to me when I said I didn't know the guy. I don't really know if that's racist but I find it weird that they got so shocked that I possibly knew a person with more melanin in his skin than me. When they saw the picture it wasn't like they wanted to know his name or how he was as a person, it was just like "OMG a black man!". I don't understand why that's so shocking, there are planty of african immigrants and people adopted from african countries where I lived. It wouldn't be unusual for someone living in my area to know some black persons.

people think i am racist but i am not. everyone seems to be straining at the bit to find any evidence of racism in statements so they can crusade as white knights who defend against "intolerance".

people are like jack in the boxes cocked with a hair trigger that snaps with almost no provocation, and they spring out yelling "racist! racist! racist!".

my oldest sister is racist i think. my mother used to take calls from applicants when we had units vacant in our blocks of flats, and when the callers were chinese, she told them that the unit was taken. when my father asked "who was that?", my mother said "oh just a willy ahh fong" and my father went back to reading his paper. but the problem with the chinese and indians was that when we let the flats to them, before long they had 10 people living in the same flat and they talked too loudly and argued a lot and other tenants complained and decided not to continue their leases.
i do not think it was just because they were oriental that my parents refused to consider them, it was because of the increased chance of problems arising from their tenancy.

anyway, after my mother died, she was buried in a part of a cemetry that was new, and after a while, she was surrounded with dead chinese people, and my sister got her dug up and reburied in another place because she thought my mother would hate the thought of being buried near so many chinese people.

that is a racist thing to do i think. everyone there was dead so i am sure they could not have cared less.

my father was also considered racist by people of my age because he was compliant in my mothers rejection of their applications. but one chinese person came to our house to apply for a flat once, and he was a very nice man and we let the flat to him. after a while he was embroiled in a court case and my father liked him so he payed nearly $20000 for his legal fees.

i do not think many people are individually racist. i think they may have a poor opinion of a race as a whole, but if they meet an individual from that race, they give that person all the respect that they would give anyone else.

i do not like arabic music, and so that apparently makes me racist.

i do not find japanese humor funny so that makes me racist.

i think that australian aborigines are genetically more vulnerable to the effects of alcohol than other people so that makes me racist.

i think that the eyes of asians are not as round as the eyes of others so that makes me racist

i do not like the smell of mongolian curries and that makes me racist.

i think that african americans are generally more musically inclined than other races and that makes me racist.

i think that most pakistani's come from pakistan and that makes me racist.

i do not understand the exaggerated gesticulations of italians and that makes me racist.

i do not understand greek and that probably also makes me racist in the minds of the jacks in the boxes.

if i find someone unappealing and they are not white caucasians, then i am a racist.
apparently i must find nothing unsatisfactory with any person in the world other than a white caucasian.

why is it that only white caucasians are capable of racism? is it because every other race wants secretly to be a white caucasian and has a raw nerve about the fact that they are not?

i think the notion of raciscm is predominant in the minds of 2 types of people.
1. non white people who are envious of white caucasians and feel incensed at any uncharitable comment from them.
2. white people who want to crusade as champions of the "downtrodden" and who see an opportunity in any comment of dissatisfaction from a white person about something a non white person does.

everyone is a human no matter what race they are. they are all able to interbreed so they are not a different species.

in the past, general and pure racism did exist because people thought that black people were black because they were dirty. they tried to scrub the blackness off black children in baths. they did not want black people sleeping in their white sheets because they thought their blackness would rub off like boot polish onto their sheets.
those mindsets are long gone.

i think that people nowadays are discrediting of a race based more upon the inherent societal problems that are predominantly incurred by people of a certain ethnicity rather than because they think "god ignored them and left them dirty and stupid because he cared less for them"

i think racism would evaporate if we encountered an extraterrestrial life form who moved in and predominated and gave everyone the s**ts.

if humans became the minority, then any human would be glad to see any other human.

In response to the OP's original question, "Is racism part of some social ritual I don't get?" - yes, I think it is.

People want to be a part of a group. If the group they are around engages in racism, they are more likely to do so, in order to fit in. After they do so long enough, it becomes habit for them, and they will continue to exhibit racist tendancies even after being removed fromt hat group.

People also want to think that "their" group is the "best" one to be in. Ask a Democrat which party is more "responsible" in some area of policy, and then ask Republican the same question - you'll likely get different answers. Sometimes, as in racial issues, there is no logical reason to say that one group is better than another, so the only way to feel superior is to exaggerate negative perceptions of the "other" group, while simultaneously emphasizing positive attributes associated with one's own group.

So, yes. I don't think it is an appropriate way of approaching issues, but I think it is, at least partially, a social ritual.