Approaching Individuals or Professionals.. Differences?

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About two hours ago my flatmate had to speak to me..

He hates it that I can go days on end without speaking to him.
He sees me go into different rooms, leave the place.. but not say even hi to him.
He also pointed out that the only time I will speak to him during the day
is if he speaks to me first, then later that day I will speak to him about something.


He is not the first flatmate I have had complain about this.
I blame it on them being needy, because they all have thought I was mad at them - which I never was and usually when this is brought up and a flatmate says they thought I was mad at them, I can't help but start laughing. To me it is like they need me to speak to them, to have validation that we are still 'OK".
Hell some have asked if we are still "OK"

I do not see the need to speak to people, just to 1) hear my own voice, 2) Fill the air with sound, 3) Have mindless chit-chat about the weather, it is HOT here, we all know this, why talk about it, because that is NOT going to change the weather... grrrrr

Why do I need to say hi and good morning to people? Maybe it is not a good morning.. maybe I am not awake it..

I just do NOT approach individuals.. at all
Every single individual I have ever known has approached me, or via someone else that had already approached me, and claimed me as a friend..

Random individuals will approach me on the street, usually men, but occassionally women as well..
why do people do this?

The other day, I am minding my own business, walking down the street.
I have my headphones on listening to music.
Some random guy passes me on the street, then a few seconds later he turns around and starts talking to me - so I remove me headphones..

He is asking me, how long I need to sleep!!
Then asks if I think 6 hours is enough for a person..
He goes on and on.. about how someone is coming over, but he has to get up to go to work..
so needed to figure out how much sleep he would need..

Why do I keep listening?
1) Humans to the strangest things.. and I try to understand them.. so when something odd comes up.. - it is like I cannot help but watch/look.. like some when they drive by an accident..
2) I was going in the same direction..
3) random guy also looked/dressed.. well like he worked in an office - very shiny shoes.. manicured finger nails, pressed trousers - so that added to the whole weirdness factor..


Professionals..

This can mean anyone working at some place where I need to go, or get something from - products, information, treatment..

I can approach these people, ask them things
No problem.. they usually have some what the same thing to say or ask..

easy to deal with
when one says or does something completely different then how I think they should
it throws me off..


anyway..
does, anyone else have this stuff happen, and how do you deal with it?

And what do I need to do to stop the weird ones.. ? like flatmates and randoms

yup. aspies tend to be more information-speakers, than social speakers. i'm in the same boat, and it infuriates me when people get mad at me for not starting or continuing conversation with them, as if it's my job to amuse them.

I tend to think similarly, but all of this can really be troublesome. I do my best to shift my mental processes to my wife whenever she begins saying something to me or is even just "talking out loud" a bit, but then she can begin to get frustrated whenever I stop her mid-sentence and tell her she is going to have to begin all over again if she wants me to actually hear whatever she is trying to say ... and then the entire exercise has often taxed her to heavily to continue on by the time I do catch on and catch up.

Amuse and keep them confident I think..

My "I believe, but I don't know" if I am an Aspie, is quickly becoming "oh yea that is so me"



Taxed her? How do you mean?
And troubling for whom? all involved?

I do the "can you stop and start from the beginning please" thing and it drives people nuts.
Well sooorry, but maybe you should have made certain I was listening.

Does anyone else.. kind of get the Charlie Brown Adult voice happening when some people talk?

I had the same experience a few times when i lived a roommate. I dunno, I don't think he could understand that I just am not that social all the time. I get tired of doing the same meaningless chit chat over and over. I know they're picking up on nonverbal stuff we don't so... I dunno, smile more often?

With professionals it more like you know what to talk about and what to expect.

I have known him 6+ years, he should know what I am like by now...
I know what he is like..

and yea.. he complains I don't smile enough and look grouchy... I have had female roomies act like this and now him..
But my other ones.. not so much..

very interesting this is....

Professionals are so much easier to deal with.. good solid set rules..
I see my doc in a couple days, this all should be interesting for him, considering I am comfy there
(great old house as well.. which really helps)

I had said "troublesome", and mostly because I have some trouble even describing all of this clearly. But beyond that, my own situation is not as simple as yours since the woman I tend to treat a bit like your own flatmate sees you is actually my wife and I owe her far more. And as to be "taxed" ...

My wife is a very caring and non-assuming woman who converses easily, but it can be very difficult for her to remember to include from the very beginning all the details I will have to hear before I can possibly understand and follow along ... and that sometimes requires just too much effort for her to continue at all and she goes away feeling ignored or rejected.

Sometimes aspies are quiet souls. I am. My friends are. Nothing to be offended about. A quick check to make sure they are ok and not upset and need help, and then I back off. We make conversation when we need. Not cos we are in a room with another person. We maybe dont see it as rude. Maybe we cant think of what to say so we are quiet. Maybe we dont see the chat as necessary. We're economical. Its baffling to nt's, but when they get hurt, its baffling to us. A little explanation of this gles a long way, I find....

In high school I use to be a loud, obnoxious Aspie; but now that I have gotten older I am more quiet and reserved.