Well, I don't judge you. AS is an "invisible" difference and others truly have no clue the difficulties you've undergone and how much you've done.
As a general observation, how peculiar that if one has a condition/disease/disorder, such as cerebral palsy w/ complications or a serious injury under recooperation, people are MUCH MORE forgiving/understanding of the time and sacrifices to be well and thrive. Plus, ASD individuals have a longer neurological development and that ought to be taken into account. For instance, for (young) adults my age, I have a jagged maturation level; in plenty of ways I am far ahead in terms of experience and perspective but at the same time can be quite child-like. I know this is often missed, or worse, misinterpreted as something else.
Another thing......I have a very conservative/immaculate lifestyle (i.e., I don't 'go out' no drinking/smoking, etc - and no need/want to do these things). BUT, at the same time, I've encountered drug addicts, alcoholics, even law offenders, who are given FAR more slack than any Aspie!
I am painfully hard on myself but maybe you shouldn't be so harsh on yourself. If others are being judgmental it's because they truly don't know. One reason I like Aspies is because they aren't judgmental in this way.
So, if you've had a slower-time don't feel badly; you are trying very hard. I hope soon you'll find your own place. Then much better. In the meantime, enjoy your horror movie tomorrow night with friends.
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The ones who say “You can’t” and “You won’t” are probably the ones scared that you will. - Unknown