One-sided relationships

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I had this friend that I met 3 years ago when we were performing in a musical together (we're both avid actors) named Maeve. Being an aspie, I have always had trouble finding emotional connection with other people, so I was surprised when we clicked right away. We became friends quickly (something that rarely, if ever, happens with me) and communicated mostly over Facebook and AIM, because she lives somewhat far away and it would be difficult for us to get together and hang out a lot on a regular basis during the school year.

And I honestly think I was a damn good friend to Maeve. I went to support her in every one of her theatrical productions. When she went away to college and became depressed and didn't have anyone to talk to, I was always there whenever she wanted to talk. Also I drove us 60 miles out into the valley so we could see a show together. But Maeve never did anything to show that she cares about me. Whenever we did stuff together, I was always the one who initiated it. I deliberately haven't sent her an email or given her a phone call for 4 months, just to see if she would try to contact me first. She hasn't.

I don't know... it's just that friends are always supposed to be there for each other no matter what, and when I needed someone to be there for me, she always had more important things to do.

There have been other "friends" like this in the past, all with varying degrees of flakiness. I've pretty much given up on the whole thing because I don't want to keep on make attempts when I know I'll just end up disappointed in the long run.


I just feel so awful right now. I can't even keep a friend. I feel like a loser. What's wrong with me? Why is it that nobody seems to think I'm worth their time?

Anyone have any thoughts or had similar experiences?

Maybe you connected because she as autistic problems too?

When I look at my own behaviour.... I can totally forget people for months. Not intentionally, but it just happens. Maybe you could just ask her?

But if you are not comfortable, you could always just let it slide?

It is one thing to have an Aspie-like tendency to be absentminded and forgetful about things like, say, homework assignments or keeping your apartment clean (or, for that matter, acquaintances whose faces you barely remember). But somebody who is supposed to be a good friend doesn’t just disappear from your mind for months at a time. Having Aspergers isn’t an excuse for being thoughtless and flaking out on people who care about you.

There´s already a post for discusing one sided relationships.
http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt134463.html

It´s a very good topic and I have had many one sided relationships, as some other users here I am certain, I just think it would be better to have it all in the same thread.


When I was younger I used to put a lot of effort into one sided relationships, I thought ok maybe I´m the one doing the hard job at the start but eventually people will realize I ´m a good person and they will put some effort ass well. The thing was that I got tired of being taken for granted most of the time.


The last one-sided relationship I had was with this girl I liked. We met at a disco and we clicked, she offered me her number so we could see each other some other time. At the start it was amazing, I had met a girl I found adorable and she had given me her number. Within a week I started calling her and we used to hang out with her friends, I was usually the one that had to call and everything but I didn´t care. Three weeks afterwards I stumbled across one of my friends y that time, we used to see each other a few times a week so when he heard I was hanging out with a girl he wanted to meet her. I called my female friend and she refused to change her plans(which basically involved being with her friends most of the time), when I told my friend he thought I had made this girl up, and I didn´t care what to do as long as it was with her.

When this had been going on for about a month I met my old friend in town while being with my female friend. Once he saw she was real I told him how I had to call her and all the stuff and he said "leave her inmediately" I was like WTF and he replied"this girl has shown no interest on you whatsoever you can either accept the fact that you are goign to be on a one-sided relationship until she finds something better or you could find someone who cares about you and stop hanging out with an attention-seeker as her".

I was mad at my friend after he said this to me, but a few days afterwards I realized he was right and I broke off the relationship. Have no desire of seeing her again