Recognizing joking and answering serious anyways

Post Reply New Topic

One of the first autistic traits I noticed in myself was that I often mistake joking for serious; not consistently, but enough that it's notable.

In addition, even when I recognize something as joking, I often find myself answering as if it were serious anyways. This makes people think I've mistaken their joking for serious even when I haven't - they point out that they were just joking, and I say "I know".

I'm not entirely sure why I answer seriously when I know someone's joking; I have two potential reasons, both of which may contribute, and there may also be reasons I haven't thought of.

1. Although on some level I know (or at least suspect) that it's a joke, another side of me doesn't actually realize it, and the part that doesn't realize it is what determines the answer.

2. I know it's a joke, but I can't think of a joke-recognizing response fast enough, while a serious response comes quickly to mind, so it's what I end up saying.

Does anyone else recognize this phenomenon?

I'd like to answer jokes as serious less, and I think it would be easier to stop responding seriously to things I know are jokes than to become better at recognizing jokes. Haven't yet figured how to do it, though.

Yeah, I do that sometimes, and for the same reasons.

I usually recognize jokes and play along. I do it so well most of the time people don't believe me when I tell them I was just playing along which pisses me off.

I sometimes do that too, in a "deadpan" tone of voice.

I'm right with you, 100%. I don't recognise joking as often as I should, and sometimes when I do I still treat it like a logical statement to be parsed and responded to literally -- I feel like I can't help myself, like this literal interpretation needs to be said. Sometimes I just want the confirmation, when I'm mostly sure it's a joke, but I want them to tell me so I'm sure. And even then I'm still not sure.

I'm working on taking humour less seriously. Oh, well. We're all works-in-progress, aren't we?

I do that on occasion as well, for similar reasons. However, oddly enough, my friends usually take it that I'm joking with them back when I respond in such a way and, from it, get a good laugh.

i do that alot too

I don't really have a problem with it most of the time, actually I often have the problem of laughing too early when I realize its a joke, rather than after the punchline. But people do have trouble telling when I'm joking, there's one friend in particular who I really have to be careful with and make it very obvious for her.

That certainly makes sense to me.

Yeah, that's me. A lot of the time, I can tell it's not serious...but I just stand there like an idiot, trying to think of something funny to say back for ages.

So I just end up answering seriously. =/

Thanks for the responses, everyone. I thought I'd likely find others with similar experience, but I'd never heard of it before.

I do this too. I think the reason the serious response comes more quickly to me is because I don't find the joke funny. Even if I realize the attempted joke it isn't natural for me to fake a smile or laugh as a social gesture when I don't really feel it inside.

I notice this happens in situations where someone is my superior/boss. It's supposed to be a way to make NT subordinates feel more at ease but it backfires with me as I just don't know how to respond. It doesn't help if I don't find it funny and just end up giving an awkward half-assed smile. I never feel right afterwards. Especially annoying is when they give the "I'm going to fire you for that" in jest joke. I don't get NTs who are able to laugh at everything and anything. Maybe they fake it just like I do but are better at appearing genuine.

I don't have much trouble telling when people are joking if it's people who I'm comfortable with and/or people with the same sense of humor as me. My humor is kind of dark and morbid so it's hard to share my humor with run-of-the-mill people who tend to be too uptight for me.

Happened a while ago but someone was trying to joke that "boy-you carry alot of pens in your pocket-can I borrow one?" and I reached into my pocket and handed him a pen and he said he was just kidding.

That's what I do. It's the safest thing. A delayed response isn't acceptable, and a lousy joke related response can be awkward, so what's left?

It happens to me all the time. I say something that I know is joking in a regular tone of voice and people don't get that I know they were kidding.

I answer serious, as a joke. Worth if for the 'WTF?' response it usually gets. People who know I'm an aspie find it pretty funny.