Ok folks...

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How do NT's handle the complexities of relationships?

How the heck are they able to see a twinge in the cheek and know what it means? God damn, what the hell is up with that? I think it's all just lies, lies that they know all except for us. It just doesn't make sense that relationships should be this complex.

Sometimes I just need to rant.

They aren't, they just don't talk about it, because I can imagine that, to them, it's perfectly normal. I for one find it very weird that people can read faces, or seem confident doing so. Well, what if they don't? Maybe their response looks very natural, but they might as well be struggling.

If we try to measure to neurotypicals and what we think they're doing, we will be set for failure. Don't worry to much about that, but focus on the things you can do in a relationship!

I think all I can do well is... Be a warm body. I just don't see what all I need to do in a relationship to make it work other than share common interests. What really, really frustrates me is normally I can figure things out myself, given enough time to think about it. But relationships, I just can't grasp. It just seems to be so overly complex, but it only seems to work if it's complex.

They are hardwired.

I see the twinge in the cheek and I know it means something, but I'm not sure what. I'll spend days obsessing about that twinge. Used to anyway. I gave up.

I've spent years studying and learn social interaction.... And I still suck at it. It's like a code that I can't break.

Maybe I'll just give up too, and build myself a robot friend.

Yeah I know what you mean about the NT relationship thing.
My NT partner is a mystery to me. But then, I do score 4 out of 36 on the "Eyes test". Hmm.

BUT - no matter how incompetent your social skills are, the partner in the relationship contributes to the complexity too.
That is what "partner" means, I guess. So don't assume it is all your doing!

A massive amount of human interaction is based on lies. Most are white lies, small alterations, social niceties, saying things that the person doesn't mean, saying things to make someone else feel a certain way, etc etc. It can be very discouraging, but I try not to take it too seriously, because it seems evident that most NTs I meet do not take it seriously. Maybe this is how they cope with the complexity; they don't see the relationship as a whole lot of confusing parts, rather as a general "feeling". (?)

What seems to work best is to stay calm, and try to encourage the NT person to be as literal as possible. Good luck with that!

bye.

They have superpowers.

NTs are a mystery to me.