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gsilver
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14 May 2006, 5:56 pm

I'm not sure if the is usual or not, but in my (very limited) experiences, I seem to be much better at introductions than any other type of interaction.

With an introduction, the topic is typically about topics I know about (say what I'm working on, where I'm from and so forth). Or, if it is a second introduction (say, talking to someone a second time after a week or so), I can also easily handle it, since the topic is usually on the events of the week.

But the problem is, I really don't know what to say afterward.

When talking with an acquaintance who I suspect is also has aspergers, it's difficult since I know nothing about his area of interest (cars), and he isn't interested in mine (videogames, anime).

When talking to NTs, the whole situation gets extremely complicated, with constant context switches and a heavy focus on stories. Also, since I go to a tech school "everyone is a nerd", so some portion of the conversation is dedicated to their areas of study. I'm a graduate student, so I don't know any of the undergrads in the department, and all of the graduate students are very busy, so I don't get much of a chance to talk to them either.

Anyway, unless the conversation switches to something that I'm familiar with, I have absolutely no idea what to say. This coupled with anxiety (making me want to figure out exactly what I want to say before speaking, but I am often unable to do this before another context switch) leaves me extremely quiet most of the time.

Any advice on this?



edgey123
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14 May 2006, 6:49 pm

I think you are better off not having any preconceived idea of what you think the other person will say. People always tell me to listen more - but listening is a hard skill to learn which you have to practice at in my humble opinion.


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pineapple
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14 May 2006, 11:22 pm

This isn't a good answer, but I think the context is important. In what situation are you talking to these people? Comments about what's going on around you (the length of the wait, the TV show, whatever) can keep a conversation going. And there's always asking questions about their interests (how'd you get into such and such?), although I can't guarantee you won't get bored to death. :wink:



Aeturnus
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15 May 2006, 1:20 am

I do not like introductions. I can not figure out what to say that will attract someone's attention. I'm better in a conversation than I am starting one. I generally don't say much unless spoken to. I guess some people are just different in this regard.

If you're like me, you try to find common interests. Most people have some sort of common interest, be it some sort of movie, music, or whatever. If you're at work, then you can just talk about how you feel about work and so forth, and the same could go for school and other places. I just don't like to push my interests on someone else, because I'm afraid I'll get a dirty look or some sort of negative response. That tends to hurt.

- Ray M -



ZedSimon
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15 May 2006, 2:09 am

I never introduce myself. Either someone introduces me or the other person starts talking to me first. I even go so far as to never say hello to someone until they say it first. If they say nothing, they get nothing back from me.

Once a conversation starts I usually just let it progress in whatever direction it's headed, but usually there's talk of something in common with the other person. Music usually keeps us talking. I'm almost always willing to chat, but someone else has to turn the key and start the conversation.