Keeping friends

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Is like trying to hold water in cupped hands

I have to try so so hard just to maintain a friendship.

It makes me tired

As soon as I rest from it, the friends disappear

Anyone that has one best friend is very, very lucky.

"Is like trying to hold water in cupped hands "

Sounds about right to me!
Any I have ever made, have eventually disapeared..or something.

As far as real life goes anyway.

I know how that feels, it is very hard. I really wish I knew why it happens other than telling that you that some people are fickle, as this only eliminates some people and not all. I like your description of trying to hold water in cupped hands, very accurate.

Yeah, i had several friends at school and now theres only 1 i barely even keep in touch with since he's the one that calls me.

I have a new "drinking partner" friend who i used to see everyday a few months ago. Now he rings me once say every week and i'm pretty sure he thinks i don't like him because i don't ring. I would love to be able to phone him up, ask about what he got up to in the week, how his day was but i can't.

My gut feeling says that the friendship won't be long-term

Why not? Can't stand to talk on the phone? Does this friend know you have AS?

This goofball is my best friend in the world...



His name is Rosco. Although he doesn't have AS I'm almost completely sure that he's broken in some way. Although personality wise we are kinda cat/dog, two sides of a coin, our sense of humor is identicle. He's the only person I've ever met where we could finish each other's sentences. Anytime we hangout we always have so much to laugh about.

I hate I don't get to see him as much anymore, but when we hang out it's like no time has passed at all.

I have the hardest time maintaining friendships. After a few months I feel like everything gets really stale... I only have three or four real friends, maybe two best friends.

Good to hear we're not alone

Correct. I have a phobia of phones, I even hate talking to friends and family incase there is a pause in conversation, even if it only lasts a second! And no, as far as I know he doesn't..he may have done some research one time because he was concerned..who knows? I think he knows i do have some problems in social fields, however. I haven't been diagnosed yet but I'm 99% sure i have the condition..or some kind on the spectrum.

A few questions to everyone interested in this thread; Who has a problem with telling people about their AS? If you have a problem, why? Don't you think some people, who would want to be your friends, would be more understanding? Or do you believe the opposite?

Last edited by phoenixjsu on 06 Jun 2006, 2:05 pm, edited 1 time in total.

If you can't keep friends, it's either because you make no effort to keep in contact with people outside of one or two environments, because you occasionally become reclusive or suffer depression, or, in most cases, because there's something wrong with your personality.

Bah. He definitely looks like it.

Hahaha... Well, I actually picked a goofy pic of him. That was the night of my graduation from graduate school -- I think he was drunk at that point. He's actually somewhat "normal". His myspace page is in the #1 slot on mine.

Because people are superficial and will not accept it. Most of the people i'm friends with are not really really good friends, and probably never will be.

I realize what you are saying. To be honest I'm more prone to tag it as the inexperience of youth or less perspective on the world than just superficial, but sometimes people can be pretty selfish.

I found most the jewels of my friendship among people who were intelligent, well educated or generally older. These people tend to be the most understanding and objective. I've also had more than a few of those friends that you fight for and fight for to seemingly no avail. The good news is that a few eventually (but you have to be very patient) get it as my friend Emily would say. Some of them usually realize what you did for them in hindsight and it can lead to a friendship of great depth. But then some of them don't. It's a risk worth taking only if the path doesn't lead to you own destruction.

Yes.. so true. I hate the fact that everyone seems to have this magical best friend figure there for them all the time and all I ever have are friends who sometimes are close sometimes aren't; who change positions and drift in and out of my life randomly.. it would be nice to have a stable friend who doesn't just show up and disappear for good or who knows how long..

I'm with you there! I detest talking on the phones, because I'm never sure when it is my turn to speak! This usually leads to awkward silences, and the person to whom i am speaking usually hangs up very quickly. :\

On another notes, I too have a great difficulty making and keeping friends. People who are my age are never interested in the same things as me (Star Trek, physics, methods of space propulsion). I have met one adult who is interested in physics (the physics teacher at my school), and she does not mind when I start talking about my perseverations. She is the only person I would consider to be a friend, but she is an adult, and I do not know if she considers me as such.