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arondight
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13 Sep 2010, 10:00 pm

Do you find yourself going through mental steps to cope with social situations? I find myself reading up how to act in social situations and reciting the steps in my mind. It doesn't work smoothly but I think its better than standing there. I recently moved to the US so its even harder for me dealing with a new culture and knowing absolutely nobody. Any suggestions on not having to be so mechanical about it would be appreciated.


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Clyde
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13 Sep 2010, 11:43 pm

I call this autopilot mode. Like a ship someone else is flying my body. I do every step in my head and feel like a robot. It's a facade to make people think I'm normal.



Ah_Q
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15 Sep 2010, 4:17 pm

The longer you do it the more natural it becomes, believe me.


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princesseli
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16 Sep 2010, 7:53 pm

Yeah, you just need to practice, then eventually it'll come automatic. Really, you can know all of these social rules and stuff in your head but applying them is 10x harder, well at least for me it is. Only lifes experiances teaches you how to apply them. But after a while I find it very annoying that I have to tell myself to do something as opposed to it being automatic like everyone else. A lot of times i forget or im just not quick enough. Like today I was thinking about something so i walked out of my professors office without saying bye. And he called me out on it, truthfully I forgot and I told him that, no rude intentions.

Clyde wrote:
I call this autopilot mode. Like a ship someone else is flying my body. I do every step in my head and feel like a robot. It's a facade to make people think I'm normal.


I think majority of NTs are on autopilot mode as well. Nothing unusual.



arondight
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16 Sep 2010, 9:34 pm

Its true, some situations I handle fairly well (like meeting a stranger, hi/bye) but conversation is a different thing. For us its constant practice to get it right: /


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cleo
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17 Sep 2010, 7:11 pm

Yes, I have lots of little formula's I built up over the years w/o even ever hearing about AS. I love this forum because people ask questions just like this and I understand! :)

Where are you from? I'm wondering what culture you came from?

People here LOVE sports, but not so much soccor as the rest of the world. Research the sports teams (football, baseball, ice hockey and basketball) attached to your home area. Ask people how the games are played and they will explain. Learn who the key players names are. Americans usually like to explain things, and as a foreigner you have the perfect situation to ask them to explain just about anything. Ask a question and let them talk.



arondight
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19 Sep 2010, 9:26 am

Originally I'm from Jamaica, most of the emphasis is on football (soccer), cricket and track and field. People relate to each other differently back home but your suggestion of asking questions is a great idea, I'll definitely try it.


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Musicprophets
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21 Sep 2010, 10:55 pm

yes i do this depending on the situation/people im around or meeting for the first time. high energy situations or events definitely put me in the mental steps mode. i can handle short sweet to the point easy conversations with most people but when it comes to keeping the conversation going, etc, thats where i fail. and in the end, i end up being just another person there with very little to say. but practice makes perfect, even though i hate the practice. lol.