I am uncomfortable being polite

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I don't like the fact I am uncomfortable being polite.

I hate myself for it.

I don't understand why I am this way. It might have something to do with the fact that people were not polite with me in the past.

I want to overcome this.

I am polite, but I want to be more polite.

Whenever I am polite, I feel like I am "kissing the ass" (I don't know what other expression to use) of the person I am being polite to.

I think I know what you mean. It's kinda like where being polite is saying to someone, "You are superior to me, and I will only say things that you will like." You see people take advantage of this, especially when the polite one is working for a store and the customer is being very IMpolite ranting and raving about something or other. Basically, it's just a matter of respect. Politeness shows a desire to relate to someone in a nice way which doesn't cause discomfort. If someone interprets my politeness as weakness, I'm more than happy to show them their error, as should you.

Interesting. More often than not, I use politeness to enforce a certain distance between me and others. For me, rudeness implies a familiarity I dislike. I'm always polite with strangers, polite and distant with those I don't like.

Interesting. I've never heard it put that way, but now that I think about it, I feel the same way too a little, but I don't let it stop me from common courtesy. The discomfort of being polite is less than the discomfort I would feel of someone disliking me for being rude. I know most people here won't agree, but...

hey, maybe your solution is to be polite, but not overly polite. If you feel a little too fake and gentle, maybe use a little more sincerity in your tone.

Breaking laws is what humans excel at, just be who you are.

For me it is the quantity of politeness required that seems over the top. It has always felt like 'acting'.
So every day one is worn out from excessive 'acting' in addition to ones normal work.

I can't help wishing one could simply walk down a hall on the way to an errand and not have to stop and chat with everyone.
Or even smile, and wave. I really wish to look at the floor and be lost in my thoughts. Focused on where I am going and what I'm doing.
Work would be more relaxing if I was the only one in the building.

Unfortunately that can get you labeled "Aspie" these days!

It's taken decades, but I pretty much walk with my head up, smiling and "Hi-ing" everyone I pass. I even stop and listen to those that
need to discuss some inane subject. (Although I'm usually thinking about retreat the entire time). And get this, I can even stop myself going
through a doorway simultaneously with another body. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I actually step back and let them proceed!

If I had Harry Potter's invisibility cloak, I'd use it all over the place. Just imagine how nice that would be!

i feel stupid when i try to be polite im very blunt and straight to the point and if people do not like me i do not care

i kinda struggle with these same ideas.. i was brought up to be 'polite' in many ways but woe betide someone who asks my opinion and expects a dishonest 'polite' response.. if they ask, i usually say exactly what i think or nothing at all.. i say 'would you consider it more polite if i lied to you?' i think they would most times.
generally speaking i value honesty above all else, only lying if it seems dangerous or somehow particularly bad to tell the truth.. like not telling the angry chav who asks 'what are you looking at?' that i was looking at a child of incest.. instead saying 'nothing' and shuffling away.. but even then i feel my integrity is compromised.
but if i respect someone i feel compelled to talk honestly, no matter how it might make them feel, otherwise i show disrespect and am, perhaps perversely, being impolite. lol it's a tricky one..
manners are overrated in some ways methinks, be respectful and surely others can't truly consider you 'bad' for it.
fudo