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Miyah
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09 Oct 2010, 8:38 am

I have a friend with Autism who is a more severe case and she is also slightly deaf due to holes in her ear drums. She still lives at home with her parents who are extremely over protective of her and they let her get away with all kinds of unacceptable behaviors such as call her friends more than once in one day and she had done that for years. I finally sent her mom an e-mail explaining that she was calling too often and then expected me to call her from now on and if she didn't pick up, she would call back. She has also accused me several times of being selfish when she was the one who has been one sided and inconsiderate to other people's boundaries and feelings. So, I have not bothered to call her in a few weeks due to the way she has been acting, and my friend having an attitude with me.
Finally, another friend of mine is getting married, and my friend is one of the bride's maids but some how cannot make it because she is going out of town.

Do you think it has something to do with her mother cooking things up inside her head that I am not interesting in her daughter?



James0Zero
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09 Oct 2010, 9:46 am

Well to be frank (and well that kinda comes with the territory of being an Aspie doesn't it?) I have to say you both in the wrong, she called too much and you shouldn't have stopped talking altogether. Coming to a consensus would have been better. Like having her be able to call once a day or once every two days. And to your last question probably not as your probably just trying to come up with explanations and deciding on the worst case scenario. It happens to me all the time an is rarely true.



Miyah
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09 Oct 2010, 2:42 pm

James0Zero wrote:
Well to be frank (and well that kinda comes with the territory of being an Aspie doesn't it?) I have to say you both in the wrong, she called too much and you shouldn't have stopped talking altogether. Coming to a consensus would have been better. Like having her be able to call once a day or once every two days. And to your last question probably not as your probably just trying to come up with explanations and deciding on the worst case scenario. It happens to me all the time an is rarely true.


I had told her several times not to call me more than 2 times per day and she went and did it anyway by calling me more than those times if I did not feel like picking up or calling her back at the particular moment. When it came to contacting her mother, I was hoping that she would have contacted me and then tried to work something out with her daughter instead of abruptly have her contacting me.

Yes, I do agree that we are both in the wrong here and I think that this situation should have been brought forward sooner since my friend has trouble with listening to instructions. Again, her mother is very one-sided when it comes to anyone else's space or feelings and that everyone should move over and bow down to them since "Their daughter has a disability," or that they're simply just better than anyone else.

One other example of this would be that I had invited my friend to a Halloween Party two years ago and we were going to go bowling. Her mother put my friend up to telling me that she could not make it and changed her story three times while not even bothering to tell me herself.

1. They didn't want her out all alone on Halloween night
2. Her father didn't get home from work on time, while her mother was at home
3. It was a long way to drive and her mother didn't want to drive 40 miles and pay for gas.
4. She was grounded for breaking some rules

I told my friend that she had my permission that if she felt that way to tell her that I was mad at her mother. Her response to me was that her mother said if I felt that way towards her mother, I would not be allowed to see my friend anymore if I didn't get my act together. Again, she put her daughter up to telling me this instead of trying to straighten anything out with me herself.



James0Zero
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09 Oct 2010, 5:52 pm

Well you could go the NT way and lie your way back into there hearts and manipulate her feelings with delicate hints and subtleties to show her that- Oh hahahaha don't we all wish that was an option not really. Anyway there's no simple way to fix this just don't make the common aspie mistake of over-thinking it. Sometimes a complex problem has a simple solution... God I wish I could follow my own advice sometimes.



Miyah
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09 Oct 2010, 10:04 pm

She has been acting very strange with my other friend whom is getting married and even committed to being a bride's maid along with myself and even bought the dress. I had tried calling my friend this morning to see how things were going and she has not bothered to call me back.



CockneyRebel
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10 Oct 2010, 5:22 pm

Let it go for a while and than try again.


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