Being Ignored

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Someone I know remarked recently that she hates it when people ignore her (this is in the context of Facebook) and would rather that people just tell her they don't want to talk to her.

Sometimes things are not that black and white though. It could be that someone you know likes you, but doesn't want to talk to you all the time, just some of the time. They don't want to cut you off completely and say, "I don't want to talk to you." Because in the future they will want to talk to you.

I've noticed that certain friends of mine comment on absolutely everything I post on Facebook. That is too much commenting. Especially when they write long comments. I will on occasion not reply to such comments. Especially if it's someone I don't know all that well. But I don't want to block them or say, Stop writing comments, because a few comments now and then are ok with me. Just not all of the time.

What would you prefer? That someone cuts you off completely or ignores you occassionally?

Mind you, I think we would all like to have friends that are polite and talk to us when we talk to them. But then some people are just acquintances and I know that there are some people in my social circle who will not always talk to me and I just accept that is how our relationship works. I have one friend that only texts me back occassionally (he does that with everyone, it's not just me.) So I don't text him very often, only when I actually need to communicate something.

And how do you tell someone that you are only acquaintances anyway?

Any thoughts.

I'd rather be ignored occasionally. As a person who can go weeks or months without realizing I haven't communicated with someone, I view such behaviors as normal and acceptable.

And if you are feeling ignored because specific people haven't commented on your posts, you are probably being passive-aggressive or needy in your communications.

Yes, I have a tendancy to not communicate with people for weeks or months too. But then you get the types who talk and talk and talk and talk, and don't understand why that puts people off. My poor wee friend doesn't understand why other people don't communicate the way she does and I just can't explain it to her. I feel bad for her when she gets upset like this about people not responding, but she doesn't seem to know where the cut off point in a conversation is or when she's said too much, or when people just need some space from all her talking. She gets into a vicious cycle where she meets someone she likes, they get on ok, but then she texts them. They don't respond straight away. She doesn't realise that they may be busy. Then she sends another text. Then she sends another text. Then they check their phone and have 3 messages from her and 6 missed calls and that scares them off. Generally a person would text once and wait for a response. I don't know what to tell her. And neither do other people, so they ignore her.

I'd prefer someone saying, "I don't want to talk right now. We can talk later."

I'd rather be ignored occasionally, as I usually do that unintentionally myself. I don't really have a problem with not getting comments since it's less I have to respond to.

People who need an instant response to everything are clingy and needy of attention. Of all the people I try to avoid, I try to avoid them the most.