The "best" friends anyone could have! (Sarcasm)

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Or rather, the worst friends. I've knowm these 2 people for over 13 years now, since before I was 5. They lived on my block for many years and moved when I was 13. I THOUGHT they were my best friends. They were the only friends I had ever had, so I had nothing really to compare them to. Since day one, they treated me like their personal slave, treating me like nothing more than an animal at times, but at 4 or 5, I didn't know better--that was just what normal friends did, or so I thought. Now I am finally realizing that they were NEVER good friends to begin with, and they are poisonous people, as my father and boyfriend both said. And it's true.

Back when we were little they'd do things like tie me to a tree with very mean, big dogs in the yard and leave me there for 3 hours, call me over, pretending on the phone to my mom to be the nicest people ever, but having only the intention of completely ridiculing me when I got there, throwing dirt at me as I left, being told that if I told my parents, they would make my life miserable forever. Their mother would even hurt me at times, the one that comes to mind is when we got out of the pool and we were in bathing suits when I was around 8 or 9, maybe 10, and she came up to me, jiggled my thighs and said "Go on a diet, you make me sick just looking at you, you fat b****" not jokingly, but dead serious. They would make up mean rumors about me if I got any more attention than they did so that others on our block would hate me for months at a time, while I just sat in my room wondering what I did wrong. There are MANY more incidents but it would take forever to list them all, but some include them attempting to hold me underwater for over a minute while their mother watched, tripping me constantly and making my legs bleed, and tripping me in the woods, making me land on a twig that went 3 inches into my knee and refusing to let me go home and clean it up/get the twig out for over an hour (where I now have wood left in my knee and a huge scar and indent).

Ok, now for the point of the story lol Recently, they've been trying to manipulate me yet again. They have a pattern of making fun of me, making me feel guilty for something I didn't do, pretend nothing happened, pretend to be best friends, and proceed to make my life miserable yet again. They've been really trying to get me to put them over everyone else in my life and basically drop my boyfriend, any other friends, and just center on them. They have done this already to another friend to whom they said plainly, "You have a choice: it's either Krissy or us." They started talking to me again, and they've been being obnoxious. After I finally did something about it and deleted them off of my myspace and aim because of me almost breaking down due to them, they showed up at my house and spent an hour face to face with me, yelling at me and making me feel like I'm dirt. They tried to tell me that my boyfriend was being manipulative because I wanted to spend more time with him than them and they can't stand for someone being over them. They topped it all off at the very end by saying "haha" when informed about my mom possibly having breast cancer. Nice, huh?

Afterwards in the car with my parents, I snapped and had a VERY violent nervous breakdown. My parents for some reason did everything but try to comfort me. They started yelling at me when it started and pretty much kicked me out of the house by the end. The whole time they were telling me that I was being a baby, and I wasn't ready to be even close to an adult and that I was only doing that to get out of my responsibilities, etc. I just got yelled at the whole time and I just kept getting worse because of it cause I really just needed someone to help comfort and calm me down, due to the breakdown being uncontrolable. I was uncontrollably screaming, crying, hitting myself, clawing at myself...a definite breakdown...it was scary cause I just couldn't stop it and had no control over it whatsoever.

I don't know what to do now. I feel like my parents hate me because I just couldn't bottle up what these 2 girls did to me any longer, and that makes me feel terrible. But the main question is...these girls have been haunting me ever since, I even have nightmares due to what they did to me all of my life. What would you do in my position, mainly about my "friends" but with my parents as well?

These girls sound like they are genuinly mentaly ill....I believe the term that would apply is "psycopathic"...they evidently have no human empathy.I dont knoe if you have a counsler or social worker but I think you could use one to help you.I really think you need to find what your legal rights are...maybe you cant do anything about the past but if they continue to harass you I think there should be legal recourse...it is harassment....If you have a DX of AS....I think what they are doing would fall under "hate crime"(if it doesnt ,it should).

I really dont understand your parents reaction...are they generally not supportive...Are they aware of the things these psyco b#$%&s have done?If not...tell them.


No these are not your friends...they never have been and they will never be....They are sick and you are much better with out them...

cut those people out of your life!
Explain to your parents and hopfully things will even out

The two girls are classic sociopaths. They're not well.

That being said, if you did something violent to them or yourself, your parents are going to come down hard on you; they can't take the chance that you'll put yourself in a similar situation in the future. Best thing to do is just bite the bullet and accept responsibility for it without protest - they aren't going to listen to your side of the story before that. You'll get nowhere arguing on moral grounds .... they need to know that you have the capability to evade situations like that, regardless if the other person is right or wrong, because there are alot of sociopaths and far worse out there.

I went to a daycamp, where this girl would hold me and my friend Suzie at the time, underwater for awhile. So I can relate to that, it's absolutely terrifying. Of course the camp counselors "Didn't see anything going on." I still don't think I've reconciled it, but there's not much I can do about it either. I think you need to explain to your parents what those 2 girls did to you, and ask them how they can claim you're acting like a child when you've had enough of those sick little *beeps*.

Cut those two out of your life. If they don't let it go easy, do whatever it takes.

First off, try and talk about this calmly to your parents. If they don't show any particular interest, then just remember that later if they start lecturing you after you've done something 'inappropriate' (by which I mean effective)

Talk to a lot of people about this, such as teachers. Same thing as above (if they are uninterested in helping you solve your problems, they have no justification for being angry at you)


Don't do anything that will land you in prison, but only in an effort to avoid punishment. You have no reason to play nice, or by the rules. So don't.

I have been the victim to "friends" like this myself (not so serious as in your case but the same pattern, when I was 6-13), they also contributed to me ruining my former friendships with real friends and give me anxiety and depression problems for the rest of my life. Originally I had some real friends to compare with but they managed to fool me anyway.

As allready said you should get them out of your life.

I think you should not talk to them (except saying you will never take s**t from them again and stop the conversation there if confronted in person or any live communication), give them no hope you ever will be tricked by them again.

How do they get in touch with you now? If its only certain places avoid going there alone.

I'm sorry that you were treated so bad by your "friends". It's even worse that their mother even bullied you, too. That is awful. That is foul. Because she is an adult and she should have known better. I hope you kicked these so called friends to the curb.

i had similar experiences as a kid. i have a next door neighbor who was always nice and fun to play with one-on-one, but when she had other friends with her, they all turned mean and vindictive. i had a lot of trouble understanding the two sides of her. and didnt realize for a long time that friends were supposed to treat you with a little more respect.

it didnt help that my father constantly teased and tortured me. when your own parents are contributing, you just accept that this is how you are supposed to be treated. my father couldnt understand how i became a constantly depressed, scapegoat of sorts in middle school, despite years of him urinating on me, throwing me outside, naked, and locking the door, etc.

point being - sometimes parents (yours or the other kids) are the worst offenders and cannot grasp how this supposed "harmless teasing" affects you. kids, when younger, get a free pass, in my book, because i think their actions reflect poor parenting than character issues... but at some point we all have to grow up and respect each other. usually that happens by high school, but not always.

im sorry you are having to deal with this crap on so many fronts, but try to be strong and find solace in yourself and your own purity of being.

Thanks everyone! Yeah, they definitely deserve to be just completely deleted from my life. It's funny, it seems the more that I try to block them and try not to talk to them (like blocking them on aim/myspace, blocking their # on my cell, etc), the more ways they find to communicate with me. Their mom hasn't gotten any better either, it's scary. She's gotten worse. They definitely do have something wrong with them, I've always had that feeling in the back of my mind, even when there was nothing to compare them to. Somehow they DID find out I had AS along the way. That proceeded to them saying I was a ret*d (never in front of anyone else except their mother, so that when I told someone else to try to get them in trouble for it, their mom would back THEM up and say I was a liar...I really need to carry around a voice recorder haha)

My mom just keeps yelling at me, telling me to just wipe them from my mind and that's the end of it. But it's so hard to just do that all at once and totally get them out of my head. It's impossible, at least for me. They're crazy, though, and I can finally see that I'm much better off without them! Thanks so much for the advice and kind words everyone! Nice to see that some people undersand me

It sounds to me that you are already making good progress. Accepting the fact that your "friends" are not really you friends is a very hard thing to do. That has to be step one and you've already done that part.

Your parents just want to see you get on with your life and be 'normal' to your best degree. They can't possibly realize that this pattern of behavior that you have rejected is a huge change for you. It's not going to be something where you can 'just get over it'. You will need some time for adjustment, not unlike losing a favorite pet or losing a loved one to death. But you're not grieving for them.

Yeah, they were abusive, but they were your friends for a long time and more importantly, for most of that time you didn't even know how real friends are supposed to be. It's not losing their friendship, such as it was, that you must grieve for. It's the fact that now you are changing in a positive way and altering your habits of allowing others to abuse you, will be 'missed', in a certain way. RIP. Go, now and make some real friends, but don't rush it - do that at your pace.

Block them from your email and IM. If they or their mom comes to your door, don't answer. If you have call id don't pick up when they call. If at all possible, try to get your parents to do the same. (Sorry if it's not possible.)

There are a few things I'm a little unclear about. If they go to the same school or workplace as you, then I'm sorry you're screwed unless you switch. I'm not sure what your living situation is. Are you still with your boyfriend? It seems like you could use any ally you can get in this situation. The good thing about parents is they can't kick you out AND stop you from seeing your significant other. They can only pick one of those.

As far as self-injury if you feel you must do it, I suggest you try to do it where your parents don't find out. This doesn't mean you can't tell anyone or seek professional help, but I don't see any good coming from your parents catching you doing it again.

If they are 18 or over then it's legally possible to (but perhaps extremely hard) to get a restraining order.

Do not associate with them. Do not even talk to them. You do not need them. If they try to come near you anyway (that's bothering you), file a restraining order.

That sucks, I am soo sorry . Especially about the parents thing, I can relate, sometimes when I've needed to be comforted they've been anything but, and all that stuff about not being ready to be an adult is BS, of course you are, you just do things a little differently. that stuff hurts tho, sorry.

And yeah def cut them out of your life.

good luck

Kate