You fidgeters!

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Hey guys, I met up with an old Aspie friend of mine, way back from middle school. (She's a diagnosed one)

She was great, and we had a great time talking about old bygone days and catching up and all, but being with her has brought to light an observation that I've noticed before, but only now have I become aware of it.

She fidgets VIOLENTLY.

Now when I was with her, she clearly seemed to be in the present moment and chatted my ear off about her taking up graphic design at a community college, but it was sort of hard to notice her positive attitude because of the way she was fidgeting, how antsy she was!

She has always been a hyper, energetic sort, but when you're sitting crosslegged and kicking your top foot up and down violently enough to stub her toe when she accidentally kicked the ledge next to her, you're making quite a show of yourself!

Three problems that the fidgeting can bring about. One, it's distracting to watch a body part kicking around or moving about constantly. Not always in a bad way, sometimes it puts me in a trance, but it still diverts my attention from -you-. Second, it can project the idea that you want to "get up and get outta there." Like you're on the run in your chair. NTs won't want to hold you back, so they'll end the conversation or grow more detached, even if you would've otherwise enjoyed a rapport together. Third, it's almost dangerous. If she had kicked my shin instead of the ledge....ouch. xD

If I am correct in that this is stimming, my advice - if it's at all possible - is to trade a distracting, wild stim to a more mild and small one. For example, in lieu of swinging your leg back and forth, perhaps crack your toe knuckles in your shoes. (Or...am I the only nut who does that? haha) Or just flex your knee, etc. You'll feel like you're moving, but it won't be visible and demonstrative.

And really, it's perfectly normal to visibly fidget. But when it becomes visually distracting (swinging feet all over and kicking things) or noisily distracting (constantly drumming fingernails on your desk in class), it's good to try to fidget in "alternative" ways.

But this is just something I've observed. If stimming is something that can't be controlled, at least try to avoid horsekicking me.

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oh yeah, bopping legs, walking when thinking about something challenging and using hands extensively when explaining something I like are a few examples.

i crack my knuckles, and every on keeps saying that it is very distracting.

I fidget too - I guess that's my stim then.

I tap my hands/feet, wring my hands, mess with my hair, play with my jewelry, crack knuckles, move around while sitting, move around while standing...

I fidget about a billion times a day. You'd think all these pills would chill me the f'k out, lol.

Does tapping your foot while staring out into space and plucking out your beard hairs one at a time count? In retrospect, I bet it probably creeps people out when I do that in meetings. Nobody has mentioned anything, but people often don't say what they're actually thinking (which is annoying.)

Yes, I'm a fidgety mess. Clothing hems are my number one victim.

I fidget in class. I hate it. I know it doesn't make me look good. Lately I've been reading about posture and been trying to habituate a consistently confident demeanor and this is disruptive to that process.

What I notice is it gets worse any time the professor goes off talking saying things I know I'm not going to have to write as notes. I hate either stopping when I'm writing or having to pick up the pace and both happen too much. He'll use a lot of words that are unnecessary to my notes, then he'll say a bunch of important things in rapid succession so fast I can't keep up!

I especially hate being too close to someone in class. I want to be able to spread my legs out and get comfortable. It's the only way to avoid fidgeting. Sometimes I worry about bumping the person next to me, overcorrect putting my legs too close to each other, making the fidgeting worse and ruining my attempt at reposturing.

I fidget only when I'm extremely nervous. Otherwise I'll sort of play with my hands in my lap, not in a fast violent way, just sort of a thoughtful way. I try not to stand out to my NT friends in this manner.

oh yes indeed!

I'm especially restless when I'm away from my home...my comfort zone...and I watch other people and try to do as they do...but it doesn't last long.

I always seem to find something to fiddle with. I pull at clothing threads and straighten hems, pick at labels and pick up objects...absolutely anything I can get my hands on to keep them moving.

Standing around in public places such as shopping queues and social circles etc makes me feel so damned awkward and so I shift an awful lot and am excruciatingly aware of my stance...eek I hate it!

Yeah Fidgeting!! !! If I was restrained so I could not fidget, I think I would blow up.