Inability to have long-term relationship

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Some reasons I can think of:

1) I get annoyed easily, and I seem unable to compromise. If I don't like something, I will not put up with it, and there's nothing anyone can do to change my mind (at least until further notice).

2) When I've come to know someone well enough to know his/her good side as well as his/her bad side, often the bad side bothers me more than it should. I know I'm not exactly perfect either, but that doesn't seem to stop me from gradually losing respect for him/her.

3) If I've argued with someone, it's probably because there's something I don't like about him/her, which goes back to my intolerance and my inability to compromise, and which usually ends whatever "friendship" we've had, although I know that to be good friends you have to go through thick and thin and have your ups and downs instead of "breaking up" every time you have a fight.

4) I just get bored easily. I get bored with people, with how predictable they are, with their hang-ups and their constantly acting like they never saw it coming (how many times can you make the same mistake???) Even if I sincerely like someone at first, after I've come to know him/her so well I end up growing indifferent to him/her.

5) I'm uncomfortable with the idea of people knowing me well enough to my weaknesses.

...that's all for now. Relate and discuss.

EXACTLY!! !! !

Once I lose respect for my significant other or they start to bore me the relationship is over....it just lasts until I can get up the nerve to end it.

I'm generously forgiving when it comes to peoples imperfections. What I don't like is if you have friends that expect you to pay attention to them all the time then I want to be left alone. That can explain why I'll never have a best friend.

It's just a matter of waiting... you know it will inevitably end, you want it to last but you know it can't. I can really agree with you, strongly, on #4. It is so true.

I agree with you on all 5, they are the calling cards of every destroyed relationship I've had. Not specifically dating, but friendships. I don't even want to imagine how hard dating would be.

How about inability to have any relationship?

Oh my god, this is eerie. Get out of my head!! !

That suggests to me that people have taken advantage of your weaknesses in the past. Two possible reasons for this spring to my mind:

a. You pick the wrong people; or

b. People retaliate when you point out their imperfections to them too much.

I've not yet had a relationship, but I do worry that when I do I may have to deal with some of the problems in the OP.

Still, I'd appreciate the chance to find out.

One, two, and three relate DIRECTLY to me.

My inability to compromise mainly comes about due to someone wanting me to do something I will NOT agree to no matter what. Or I feel as though the person is trying to use what they perceive as niceness or weakness in order to get over. Usually it's about some woman trying to get me to spend money on her that I don't have to spend. The other is people trying to get me to do things THEY are interested in that I have NO interst in doing - dancing for example. Like I've said before, perhaps this is the rigid-and-pragmatic thinking at work.

I also like being alone a lot!

This topic came up with a friend of mine. When I told him I just have no interest in "being" with someone, he said, "Well, that's the whole basis for being human." I guess that's one of the reasons I feel like I'm on the Wrong Planet, so to speak.

Seconded.

If there isn't a 'synergy' present in a relationship then it is all wrong.

There has to be an overall positive net payoff to both, or it will stagnate.

To find a synergy that works, you would have someone similar as you and that is the challenge: how many folks out there are like yourself, do you think?

The pool is small but there are some oddducks out there , but overall some folks may find that being alone is the lesser of two evils.

First of all: Hi, menintights.

Interesting post. I'd like to say I relate to most of your initial post. I have this 'threshold'. In so-called "romantic" relationships it happens at about 3 months on the button. Once the threshold is passed, I am completely 1. 2. and 5. of your initial post.
Sometimes I get bored, if the 'disrespect' is dominant, otherwise I'm paranoid if the 'knowing my weaknesses' is dominant.

I found daniel3103's comments kind of hopeful. What I mean is, I have no idea what is wrong with me, but I really do have difficulty being close with people. I have some really good friends, but no one (not a best friend or relationship) physically close. I always wanted to get married, actually, but I'm really having to start to accept that the idea isn't logical. It's much more likely I'll be alone for the rest of my life; both because I'm statistically unlikely to meet a match and because of my unfathomable difficulties.
In some ways, I don't mind at all; I think I'm idealogically opposed to needing people. But, in some ways I really wish it weren't so.
But .... maybe daniel3103's comment is true. I know I have chosen the wrong people in the past, but is that the only reason? I don't know.

Anyhow, no one else (except maybe a therapist) could really help me get right to the bottom of this. Until I understand better what my sensory issues are, I won't know the place of anything else, probably. This thread is just food for thought, anyhow, I guess.

To "mysassyself":
Wow, you have that 3 month issue as well? Almost all of my relationships that I have managed to get into failed on the 3 month mark. I could almost post it on my calendar. That's really fascinating.

Yeh, that's interesting, isn't it?!

To me, it's like there's some kind of threshold there. Presumably to do with intimacy and 'dropping the masks' or some such thing.

I've no idea whether it 'counts' or not, but I recently passed the 3 month limit with someone online. Actually, I don't care if it 'counts' or not - it is what it is and I'm right now finding it
great to have someone tell me how great I am, without having to cope with the awful sensory overload that normally goes with intimacy.

This is the same thing with me.

Especially number 4, 2, and 3. But also because I am heavily suspicious. I have learned early in life that people weren't to be trusted. Being bullied and burned by so many people so heavily has made me not trust people.
When I was young a lot of my "relationships" were me getting manipulated and people laughing at my emotional stress. I don't know sometimes, what is real and what is a joke.

Maybe it's because the first 3 months are the "honeymoon" stage of a relationship where everything is new and exciting...and once we stop being deliriously happy about everything our significant other does, and really start to pay attention, we become more critical? I mean maybe that's where the blinders come off and we actually start paying attention to who our boyfriend/girlfriend really is inside, and it's not who we thought it was....

Did I explain that okay?