What to say to a friend's mother

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I am going to be in a wedding this weekend for a friend and I am a bride's maid. Another friend of mine is also a bride's maid and she still lives with her parents and they live a half and hour North of me, and I am on the way to the wedding. So, I asked if they could give me a ride to the church since I do not want to get my dress dirty for the wedding on the bus. She asked her mother but she said no and had her daughter give me all kinds of reasons why they could not. The first reason was that they were talking care of her grandmother who lives in the area and then taking her to get her hair done and taking her to the church.

I also feel like her mother can't stand me because she is mad that I am in college and her daughter isn't and some other things. So the the last two years, her mother has done nothing but seem to avoid me if she can and talk down to me as if I am a more severe case of Autism. What should I say?

You should say nothing. You asked, they said they couldn't and explained why.

Why is the bride not making arrangements to get her bridesmaids to the church?

She is trying to find me some and I have rehearsal tomorrow and I am going to see who can give myself a lift along with another guy who lives in the area.

It sounds like this woman is pretty unsympathetic--I wouldn't want to be stuck in a car with her to begin with.

This may end up being a hassle, but most churches have rooms where the bridal party can change for the wedding. A lot of them have classrooms for Sunday School or whatever that will let you change in there. I would be willing to bet the bride is not trying to ride in a car in her dress either. At the very least, you could change in the bathroom and have someone guard the door. I would ask at rehearsal if the church will have a changing area and then you could take your dress in some kind of bag (a garbage bag would work in a pinch).

Hope this helps--have fun and don't worry about mean people!

It sounds like
- they've got a pretty busy life (grandmother to be taken care of, as well as having children)
- it's a high pressure day (wedding to get to on time, hair to be done, as well as normal family chores)


So even if you were one of their favourite people, they'd be hard pushed to slot you in for that day.
The fact that you're not a one of the family simply meant that they said straight out that they were busy.

As for the mother being patronising, I agree with Spyral, and people like that you don't need to spend time with.

I thank you for your advice about my friend's mother and she has pulled this on me for the last two years now. She seems fine around her husband and everything but when it comes to her giving me a ride to places, she seems to find every excuse in the book and then puts my friend up to telling me for her mother all the time and I am getting a little tired of it. She seems to use her grandmother as an excuse a lot or she makes up other excuses about how busy that she can be.

Stop asking her for rides, or anything else for that matter. She has made it clear that she won't do things for you. Leave it at that and from now on just assume that she'll say "no" and make your plans all based on that fact.

Troubletail,
I was just thinking the same thing but she doesn't like me and therefore decided to let that feeling eat her alive. I had also talked to someone at work and they told me that she didn't have to like me and that I don't have to like her and I really don't.