Using AS as reasoning

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Alright, so here's something in which I'm curious whether anyone else out there does...

Whenever I do (or did, rather...I stopped after I realized how she reacted) something out of the norm around my girlfriend, such as not wanting to stay on college campus any longer than I usually do or sleeping over in her dorm room (both of which I'm very much against doing), I back it by blurting out one of the symptoms of AS. I've done this many times now and it seems like she rolls her eyes now even when AS is mentioned at all.

I don't know what else to tell her besides the fact that I have Asperger's. I'm also a bit afraid to confront her about it. What I really feel is that she doesn't believe that I have AS or hates that I fall back on it a lot. Any thoughts?

Just tell her how/why you are uncomfortable w/o mentioning the AS... describe the symptoms & things you are feeling w/o giving it the label.

The problem is that your AS is becoming a crutch and a constant excuse rather than just having you explain why you do or don't want to do something. It sounds like every thing that you don't feel comfortable with gets applied to your "label" instead of just being something you want/don't want.

Beyond this, you need to start figuring out the "why" of your current decisions. If leaving school ASAP when class is out, then its a quirk you have, not a symptom of AS. It may relate to AS symptoms, but it is something YOU do which means you have to figure out why you want to do that and what is making you uncomfortable. If a partner is constantly having to accommodate to everything you want then they will quickly tire of it, especially when they always hear "aspie" this and "aspie" that as excuses. It sounds harsh, but they are just that, excuses and not explanations. If you say "I prefer to leave because of X, Y, & Z" then you have an explanation of why you feel the way you do and there can be a discussion. Leave it as a preference, not a Dx.

Yes, you have a Dx, but it is not the entirety of who you are, and whether you like it or not it means that you have to work a lot harder in relationships with NTs to figure out what is needed and to push your own boundaries (within healthy limits of course) to have a sustainable relationship. That being said, I have not been able to sustain relationships with NTs, but do phenomenally well with other Spectrum folks. I've found NTs to be too needy and not understanding of my sensory issues. My hubby is an Aspie so we do quite well together. That doesn't mean that you can't marry/date NTs, but it is a lot harder since you have to try and adjust to each other and understand that there will be mixed communications and expectations.