Wedding parties/feeling closer to a friend than they do to u

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I searched this to see if this topic had been posted before, but I could't find much. Have you ever been asked to be in a friend's wedding party? I was a bridesmaid twice, for my SILs. But one woman who I thought was a close friend told me that when she got married, she'd want me to be a bridesmaid. A few years later, she got engaged and I wasn't asked. She told me it was because she had "too many". (She had 5, plus her MOH.) I was also friends with her sister. When I got married, I had her sister as a bridesmaid but not her. The following year, her sister got engaged and asked me to be a bridesmaid. I happily accepted. A few weeks later, she called and said she wasn't going to have me because her fiance wanted a small wedding party and that it would be too much for me to travel for the fittings for the dresses. I think the mother of these two women didn't like me, so she may have had some influence, although the brides were grown women and it was ultimately their decision. Two other women that I had in my bridal party, one of which was my MOH, didn't have me in their weddings either, although they had other friends, not just relatives. They said they had "too many" and "wanted an even number of bridesmaids and ushers".

I know some people would just as soon not be in a wedding, the expense, the time involved, etc. Or for some it's just not their thing, they'd rather be just a guest or not go at all.

I guess this is not so much about being included in weddings, but more about having a friend that you think of as a really close friend, as I did will all four of these women, but they don't feel the same way about you. I guess I didn't read their "social cues". I asked them if I did something to offend them, and they said "no".

It's frustrating to never be able to have a really close friend, just casual friends and aquaintances and people that you think are friends but don't really like you. I try really hard to be a good friend and I don't know what it is that I am doing wrong. Am I offending people with out realizing it? Or do they just think I'm weird? I always thought that my not being attractive had a lot to do with having a hard time keeping and maintaining friendships, although I see other people who don't look like movie stars either, and they seem to do ok. It seems the parents always had issues with me, like "Don't hang out with her. She's odd."

Do any of you have experiences or feelings like this?

I never really understood what the deal was with NT's being afraid of people who are a little different. In my experience, the slightly odd are far more interesting and easier to talk to.

I usually found out who was my real friend and who wasn't when birthday parties...especially bat/bar mitzvahs rolled around. Unless they had to invite the entire class, I generally wasn't invited. But I never really expected to be anyway, except in the case of one bat mitvah.

Weddings and such are a little different. I've watched some family members plan weddings and sometimes, because of the cost, some very difficult decisions had to be made about who to invite. Sometimes it came down to who was going to hate them more for not inviting them.

This issue of weddings so stressed one of my relatives that she decided not to have a ceremony at all....but then she had to explain to a lot of people why they weren't invited to a wedding.