Social Nuances - riding on a bike with a man?

Page 1 of 1 [ 10 posts ] 

SilentScream
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 7 Dec 2009
Age: 54
Gender: Female
Posts: 405
Location: UK

01 Nov 2010, 10:13 am

I've been offered a ride on a new friend's bike. I'm female, he's male.
Now, the experience sounds like it would be fun.

However. I would just like to check in case there is something else that I've missed. Is it seen as something quite forward, where by I would be indicating something else as well, or is it all quite straightforward and normal?

Thank you.



leejosepho
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Sep 2009
Gender: Male
Posts: 9,011
Location: 200 miles south of Little Rock

01 Nov 2010, 10:23 am

Assuming you mean a motorcycle ...

How long has he been riding, how long has he had this new one, and how prone is he toward "showing off"?

He might just be wanting to pass along a new thrill;

He might be offering others an opportunity to consider riding for themselves;

He might be trying to impress you in some way ...

I have taken women for rides for all of those reasons and more.

What is your actual interest here: Him, his bike or just going for a ride?

Be sure to wear long pants and sleeves, and be sure to not hold him too tightly so as to inadvertently distract him from behind.


_________________
I began looking for someone like me when I was five ...
My search ended at 59 ... right here on WrongPlanet.
==================================


SilentScream
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 7 Dec 2009
Age: 54
Gender: Female
Posts: 405
Location: UK

01 Nov 2010, 10:38 am

Thank you. I'm going to have to think carefully about this.
Great checklist - exactly what I needed. Thanks! :D



SilentScream
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 7 Dec 2009
Age: 54
Gender: Female
Posts: 405
Location: UK

01 Nov 2010, 2:52 pm

What is considered too tight, and how does it distract, please?



leejosepho
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Sep 2009
Gender: Male
Posts: 9,011
Location: 200 miles south of Little Rock

01 Nov 2010, 5:10 pm

Well, you certainly want to be safe, so having and maintaining a comfortable hold and firm grip around his waist (and maybe even with your thumbs and fingers gripping his belt or waistband) is necessary unless there might be some other provision such as a strap or handgrips, but there likely will not be either of those available. And depending upon his size and your arm length, you might decide to just reach all the way around and clasp your hands together in front of him ... and there is nothing either right or wrong about any of that. Riding two-up is a circumstantially-cozy situation where everyone understands it must be that way simply for the sake of safety.

Then, and depending ever so greatly upon the character of the man taking you for a ride, there is the simple matter of wearing a sports bra or something bulky (or however you might occasionally deal with that) to avoid the kind of body contact that could be distracting (large breasts pressing against one's back) if you might decide you feel most comfortable and safe while pulling yourself up tight as you hang on. But if he is a decent, safe and considerate rider, you really should not have to hang on quite that tightly.

On another note: As best you can, mentally prepare now for *not* leaning away from a turn to either side. Rather, just stay in your sitting position directly behind him and "go with the flow" as the bike leans one way or the other while turning ... for if he is making a turn and you lean away from it to try to remain vertical to the ground, you easily could cause him some control problems.

If you can, freely ask him questions before you actually go for a ride ... and if he is an experienced rider and aware of what it is like to be on the back, he will likely understand and be happy to put you at ease.


_________________
I began looking for someone like me when I was five ...
My search ended at 59 ... right here on WrongPlanet.
==================================


SilentScream
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 7 Dec 2009
Age: 54
Gender: Female
Posts: 405
Location: UK

02 Nov 2010, 11:51 am

Thank you very very much. That is so helpful!

The only thing I don't quite understand is why wearing a sports bra makes a difference to a normal bra? The sports bras I've seen are quite normal looking bras, just have more material around the abdominal area as opposed to the breasts.



leejosepho
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Sep 2009
Gender: Male
Posts: 9,011
Location: 200 miles south of Little Rock

03 Nov 2010, 7:26 pm

Well, what you wear there might not really matter at all ... and maybe I am just getting caught up in one of my own little deals. If you are not one to flaunt cleavage and leave impressions, your normal attire will probably be just fine!


_________________
I began looking for someone like me when I was five ...
My search ended at 59 ... right here on WrongPlanet.
==================================


SilentScream
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 7 Dec 2009
Age: 54
Gender: Female
Posts: 405
Location: UK

04 Nov 2010, 9:37 am

Thank you. I don't really have much cleavage to flaunt, and think I'd be wrapping up for a ride on a bike.

Where I tend to go wrong seems to be "striking poses", which I haven't got a grip on as I think I'm just standing in a comfortable position, but my female friend says is a provocative pose, and eating snacks, which again is just stuff like eating the chocolate first, then the wafer inside, but my friend informs me I make into a bit of a sideshow. She was laughing at me, and tells me that I made the old man sitting beside me very happy. :( :( :cry:

As I haven't even apparently got the hang of standing and eating sedately, the mind boggles as to where I can go wrong when clutching on to someone during a bike ride!



leejosepho
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Sep 2009
Gender: Male
Posts: 9,011
Location: 200 miles south of Little Rock

04 Nov 2010, 9:56 am

SilentScream wrote:
As I haven't even apparently got the hang of standing and eating sedately, the mind boggles as to where I can go wrong when clutching on to someone during a bike ride!

You candor reveals much there, and it is good you have an awareness to match. If the man seems to be a safe, mature and responsible person, just be yourself and be comfortable and go for a ride ... and his own mind will be well-occupied with the things *he* needs to be doing there.


_________________
I began looking for someone like me when I was five ...
My search ended at 59 ... right here on WrongPlanet.
==================================


SilentScream
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 7 Dec 2009
Age: 54
Gender: Female
Posts: 405
Location: UK

04 Nov 2010, 10:46 am

Thank you. You've been really helpful and patient.
*off to find a helmet and suitable outfit*