Asking your BF/GF AS OR NT too many questions?

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I find myself asking a lot of questions throughout my conversations with my GF who is an NT ( I am AS). I am not completely sure if this is good or bad. I think I can sense a bit of confusion or lackluster in some conversations due to it.. the problem is my mind works by asking questions because I am always curious to learn/know. I am legitimately interested in her. I find this to be a part of my downfall. Going with the flow of the conversation for me is difficult a lot of the time. It is hard to do without asking a question or questions and not feel like I am being annoying. Although, I do have my good days..

Is asking questions something your BF/GF dislike? I do not think I come off as an "interviewer type" or a wierdo... Just.. I ask question a lot.

What I've learned is that in conversation styles, you ask a question and let them answer, then pause to give them a chance to ask you something back or if they don't ask a question you are expected to share something related about yourself or your opinions on things. It means sharing stuff about yourself (which with AS is a pain I know) but its supposed to be the natural flow of conversation.

I too get either labeled as the lecturer or the interrogator. I've learned over time though to just keep my mouth shut for longer periods of time and let other people talk, even if I have no idea what they are saying or why they need to say it.

Also, you can just let your GF know to stop you if you get on a tangent. Laugh it off going "ok sorry, I'm practicing for interrogation again, how about you ask me something." I've told my friends to literally tell me to stop if I'm on some kind of tangent where I'm not paying attention. Self-depricating comments of "oh I'm sorry, I had a past life as a tv evangelist" or some absurdity seems to work well to make people laugh and forgive your linguistic quirks.

Yeah, I'm an interrogator too. One of my sons says it makes him feel like not telling me anything he had been planning to tell me. .... But if I don't ask questions, people don't talk to me at all. And I really do want to know what is going on in people's lives..... I'm trying to process the above poster's ideas, and I'm not sure I can understand what she is saying. I have problems with abstract concepts. I'll think about it for a while more.

i always ask loads of questions because i dont understand my bf and his motives much, nor the way he perceives certain things. His reactions are often so different to mine that i just have to ask to learn where that reaction came from. He's supposed to be NT.

Ive always interrogated all people on their behaviour really. Also on their interest and everything. I like to create a framework of that person inside my head so that i know how to behave towards them. its not that i'm really honestly interested in them or that i ask stuff out of compassion (well, not all of the time ofcourse) but to paint a picture for future reference.

How familiar.... I ask questions, lots of them. It's bothersome, because if I don't ask questions I don't know what to say most of the times. I mean I could lecture about something, but that's about it. Ask questions and lecture.

I ask a lot of questions as well. I feel as if they help propel a conversation.

I find that I ask questions a lot, too. Mainly because as one person stated before, if I don't ask questions I feel as though no one would talk to me. Asking questions seems to be a polite way of attempting to make friends (even though I realize that my questions become intrusive and awkward).

In my relationship I ask questions because I don't know what else to do. If I'm not asking a question, what will we converse about? The weather? How happy we are to be together? I feel as though asking my partner a million questions in five seconds establishes some sort of conversation. I am unaware of how to have a conversation without asking millions of questions. If I take away questions, we are left with a very long monologue and my partner gets annoyed.

For me, it's a lose-lose situation. Though, I guess I am fairly lucky because my partner understands, or at least is accepting, of my oddities.

I ask a lot of questions too and no one seems to be bothered by it. For me, questions are the only thing that help me connect with people in a conversation. I just want to keep them and myself interested in being with each other. I don't have a GF but I do have friends who are girls. They are use to me asking questions a lot.

Bad idea to go in a listing-style questioning.

There is a big chance you will look like an insecure or doubting person, remember too insecure or too doubtful in a relation is bad. Furthermore you will miss the journey by wanting to go straight to the destination.

I wonder what missing the journey by going straight to the destination means.

As aspies we naturally think that with more data, we will behave in a better way (or rather with less risks of making a mistake) we want to go straight to an answer we will rely on.

Often when you ask someone about what he thinks or what he is, he will have to make a theoretical construction to respond. People don't really know themselves, are not objective, change and of course context matters for every response.
A simplistic example: Someone will tell his favorite color is blue, yet he may prefer a red Ferrari to a blue one.

So asking questions cannot be the only way to understand someone, observations gathering and understanding will give more accurate answers on the long run: that is the journey, it is less efficient but more enjoyable.