Aspie meltdowns

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When you all have meltdowns what do they look like. I am just out right mean? Then they reject me and I don't know why

When I melt down, I tend to become paranoid and untrusting. First I turn on people that I never liked in the first place but never told off, then anyone who questions any of my beliefs/assumptions I insult as well

ANNGGRRYYYYY That's about it. I go like a little tantruming child because I'm so bloody frustrated with everything.
Unless I'm out of the house then I just don't say anything and go all defiant and I feel like I'm going to start crying.
My triggers are usually emotional, I don't have sensory overloads. If something important to me is getting changed/cancelled/postponed then I start feeling rage and I do one of the above things depending where I am. Or if I'm getting yelled at.
recent example: On my 17th birthday I arranged to meet friends at a bowling alley then back at my house. I had it all thought out and planned in my head for a couple of months and on the week I was going I had made the arrangements with said friends and everything seemed fine. On my birthday it was snowing heavily so I asked all my friends if they could make it still, they said yes. One friend I wasn't sure of but my internet stopped working so I couldn't MSN him about it, that stressed me out and I was crying and stuff. Then after that I went in my mums room and was complaining about it, anyway my mum suggested I should postpone it because of the weather. THAT WAS IT. I screamed "NO NO NO ITS TODAY WE ARE MEETING TODAY I WAS LOOKING FORWARD TO IT FOR MONTHS" repeatedly and hand my face in my hands and screamed everytime my mum tried to speak to me, then I was crying hysterically going "I'm going I'm going!" then messaged my friends asking if they were going, one said yes the other wasn't online again. I was calmer but still a bit shook up, then things were going fine until my friend said he hasn't got a lift because his grandparents were stuck in traffic, I started panicking and begged my dad to pick him up, but then my friend's mum rang and said we may aswell change it. My mum agreed with her. So I was filled with rage and a bunch of other negative emotions and I was crying my eyes out and shouting "BUT IT WAS TODAY! YOU CAN'T JUST MOVE IT LIKE THAT! NO!". It took awhile to cheer myself up but I was still feeling low all day and emotionally fragile. Fortunatly I did go and meet my friends two weekends later and I had a wonderful time.

I start messing up language bad.

When I feel a meltdown coming, my first thought is to isolate myself because I know I can get over-emotional and belligerent. I start to get what my doctor calls "shocks" where I spasm and start hitting myself. It usually passes after 15-20 minutes and then I calm down. Sometimes I'm able to sleep it off before it escalates.

I stim like crazy and cry and scream. I can also end up throwing things.

If I really melt down (which hasn't happened for more than a year ), I do everything to isolate my self. That includes throwing things and other aggressive things if ppl don't let me trough/alone. So just being really angry. Luckily I feel most of the meltdowns coming (but I don't have many), as they are emotional ones and gradually build up. Most of the time I'm able to cool down before it really starts.

I pace around a lot and stew on things. I have to force myself to stay in my room and listen to music until I calm down.

I've only had two, and they looked like broken glass and wood splinters, and terrified family member threatening to call the police.

I get extremely anxious and angry. I do a lot of pacing and jumping up and down. I get very frustrated and I very rarely yell. Sometimes it's like my body completely freezes and it feels like everything just gets stuck. It's hard for me to talk and express myself which increases the frustration and anxiety. I do a lot of stimming and my body writhes like I'm in great pain. Sometimes it just gets to the point where I will just lay down and just stare off into space or stare and play with my fingers. Void of any thought or emotion.

It depends what my meltdowns are about. If they are emotional I tend to shut down whilst my mind goes on an almighty internal rant. I will rarely lash out at the person I'm actually upset at. I go into what my partner calls my 'silent mode'.

If it is a sensory overload, like being in a crowded supermarket, I get panicky and upset and sometimes angry. I just want people to get out of my way and stay away. I have to remove myself from the situation before I make a scene.

It's been about a year since my last meltdown, but it really only happens when I am treated unfairly. An example was when I was called out unjustly while playing a game
because my friends decided to be jerks.

I can honestly say this sounds a lot like me! XS
Especially when we're talking about hang-outs with friends, I can get really heated if it gets put off. I don't get to socialize a great deal so every single moment is a blessed one. ^^;
When I was a youngster in primay school I was probably the worst son there ever was. When I was angry about something I was recklessly destructive... at one point kicking a hole in my bedroom wall; I hid that behind a poster.

I haven't had meltdowns since high school.Most were due to schedule changes but the most major one I had was in year 12 (the Australian version of senior year).
Basically this pathetic jackass would call me your typical run-of-the-mill insults (dopey, slow, stupid, fat f--- etc etc etc) and on this particular day (if memory serves me)
I was eating ham sandwiches while he was eating shitty-ass hot dogs out of a rubbish bin (I went to a ghetto high school).Somehow he thought the contents of my lunchbox would be fodder while calling me various typical fat-bashing names (original, yeah right!!).Being the subhuman ape that he was he knocked my hat off and ran.I decided that I wasn't gonna take his crap any longer and kick his sorry ass.I went on a tirade and verbally laid into him (calling him a p****).After a while I came back down to earth and quietly thought
to myself "If euthanasia became legal I'd gladly sign this Muppet up to be a test guinea pig".

Sorry if I went on, I'm just tired of people not finishing what they start.

When I have a meltdown, I'm just all out pissed. I over-exaggerate my thoughts and I try "punishing" myself. I've hit myself multiple times, and I've said things I didn't really mean. When things don't go my way enough, that's usually a trigger for a meltdown. My meltdowns usually end with me feeling depressed as hell, crying, then just getting over it. I don't know if this happens with anyone else, but I can have something stuck in my mind for days at a time and it drives everyone around me crazy talking about it.