Ignoring a bully -they get more persistent

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I've noticed sometimes blowing a bully off like they're not even worth your time can make them more persistent. It's like they not only want to mess with you, but now they're insulted so they up it a little. Sigh, cest la vie. I'm thinking of just straight up telling them to please stop. The guy's in his 40s for god sake, he needs to grow up.

Yeah, they can. It then becomes a challenge to get your attention.

One way of dealing with the bully is using kindness. Needs skill though. work out what his problem is. Is he taking out dissatisfaction on you? Maybe if he was happier he'd quit being a dick. That's a tricky route.

Another is to not play his games. Or rather, play them so he doesn't win. Defuse his fun every time. That can work. Again, it's tricky to work out the rules, what presses his buttons and what acts as a hand that prevents that pleasure.

I guess you can't find a way to capture evidence of the bullie's antics and present them to the boss and get done with him? Not always possible.

Try and be above it anyway. Bullies are always sad people who should put their efforts into making their own lives better instead of dragging others down to their level.

I hope you work it out. May you be happy.

It will depend on the bully and how viiolent they like to be. If the defusing thing doesn't work try recording the things he says to you on your mobile. Just hold it in your hand and hit record when he looks like he's hovering waiting to strike. When it's particularly violent take it and play it to Hr straight away. They will be pissed off that you're recording coworkers but they'll act on it. Just pretend ignorance.
Ultimately a psychopath will back off if it looks like there will be a path of resistance, although it does depend on the individual. One psychopath I had dealings with took out myself, our boss, the local Hr person and the Hr person above them to clear the path of resistance so he could pretty much have work how he wanted it. Their replacements he manipulated to suit his needs and the coworkers that were left were too scared to say anything because they wanted to keep their jobs or indifferent. Oh and the superficial charm thing enables new people to feel relaxed around him, say stuff that can be interpreted badly and the psychopath just collects enough information until he can get you fired (it's all in the interpretation and how vehemently he presents his case). Then he turns violent, and if you protest he'll bring out the dirt he has on you. The people who were fired had been with the company ~20 years (it was actually a major University) and they have been black listed thanks to his constant email complaints (the rusty wheel gathers the most oil).
Soooo be careful. Careful careful. If it's a professional psychopath they'll quite cheerfully send you to prison if they can.
One way of knowing is how willing people are to talk about him; if they freak out and clam up when you mention his behaviour then you might be up against something more than a person with a few emotional issues. It's more of a severe psychological distortion, like a permanent paranoia or seige mentality. He's in a permanent state of warfare and there is no neutral states, there are only friends & enemies...
Good luck :-/

Sometimes it just MUST come down to violence. Clothslining works - that means punching somebody RIGHT in the throat...good and hard. Then, as they're gasping for air, tell them you'll KILL them next time. Sorry folks, but that's just how I feel at the moment.

Rightgalaxy, I couldn't agree with you more. I was just too gutless to say it.
After getting fired for being too attractive to bullies for the 3rd time (whilst having done all of my work and most of theirs too) I spent my days fantasising about a gascylinder powered nailgun aka American Psycho. Weapons are very very hard to come by in Australia (probably for a good reason given our criminal history).
I work alone now

I have a bully at my work and everyone cowers to her. She gets her way and if you are in her way she will torment you. If she just doesn't like you she will torture you. She just is a mean person, period and enjoys being evil (like a sport). I agree with that oh nice kitty...doesn't work. I have found that giving someone a strong glare has. I will not give this bully a strong glare though because she will pull rank and klobber me (she has worked there for several decades). Glaring is like gambling you might win big or you might lose more then when you started.

Avoidance is good too. I have had to leave many situations, including family ones due to bullies. I am like a bully magnet they sniff out a weakness and get excited that they have something to torment....hopefully it will get better...mine has over the years.

I haven't had to deal with bullies since my school days. I ignored them but of course they get more persistent. I eventually would flip out and hurt them. I hated when people touched my face and I had a bully who liked to stick his finger in my face very often, I broke it.

Indeed, this seems to be the case.

I tend to like to twist their logic around on them and give them answers they aren't expecting. People tend to think I'm this small little person they can bully. However, they are quite wrong in deed.

An example of what I mean is, I ride a Vespa and in the US they don't seem to get a lot of respect. And I have a lot of cars who want to bully me quite often into doing the things they want me to do.

Well some people tend to come out of their cars. This man in a giant truck, who was taller than me, bigger than me, and had a truck. Thought he was better than me and that he could intimidate me. This was an extremely busy busy street. And its something I wasn't going to risk my life on taking a right turn on the red for.

He says, "Look here little lady [some people assume since I'm small and my face was covered due to my full face helmet, that I'm a girl] you have to move, some people have to go to work."

I replied, "Look here little man[remember he's bigger than me and he thinks he bigger than me, so I just punched his pride] its called time management, if you have to go to work that bad then leave your house earlier."

He didn't get what he wanted, he didn't get an answer he wanted, and I threw his logic back in his face. He couldn't bully me and further. He knew this. He got into his truck and drove through the gas station to get around.

I think he best way to deal with a bully is to reply in ways they don't expect.