Rejecting people as friends.

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I'm curious how many of you have rejected people as friends and for what reasons.

When I was younger I was quite altruistic and was willing to accept anyone who was nice to me as a friend.

However I observed that some individuals can be quite horrible to others for no valid reason, and I've come to the conclusion, that even if these people were nice to me, I would not want them as a friend because I cannot sit by why they continue to treat others horribly, or while they harbor illogical sentiments towards other individuals and try to engage me in it. I've concluded those who are so intolerant and unaccepting of otherss are indeed, not worthy of my friendship.

I have rejected people as a friend due to the social changes (social to asocial) over the years that I had as a mid-teen and I don't miss them one slight bit.

Never have. If someone actually wants to talk to me, then odds are they're going to be interesting people who are on similar wavelengths. What I have noticed is that when I meet people (well, when people meet me) we tend to be exactly on the same wavelength, but as the years progress, they change (typical changes: becoming more social, getting in long-term relationships, figuring out sexual identity) while I stay the exact same. If more people actually talked to me, and wanted to hang out with me, then I'd certainly have the power to reject people.

The problem is... I'm weird enough to be considered "antisocial" (not my word here, but one that a friend used) in a school full of antisocial nerds who spend all their long evenings coding up C programs alone. So it's not like 95% of people would even want to talk to me.

This sounds 100% like me Chronos. Junior high was the worst to me. The majority of the dumb socialite girls thought I was funny sitting by myself and playing my Gameboy all the time; they would chat me up and I thought they were my friends because they were being nice. This is what I had built up inside of me, that people who were nice were definitely friends, but I didn't count on them being two-faced liars.

Regarding your views on friends who are disrespectful to others, I had someone exactly like that over my senior years; while he was instrumental in opening me up to the social circuit I also had to break it off with him because when he changed schools he started talking like a bastard about the people in his group, directly to them as well, as if they didn't have feelings!

Nowadays I'm less susceptible to liars and fake friends and I am less desperate and more selective. Quality over quantity.

I reject most people because I'm afraid of social situations.. So therefore I run away from them as far as possible.

I tend to push people away before things go wrong and they reject me. Stupid, I know, but I can't seem to help it. I'm so used to screwing up, that I pre-empt rejection. Much as I love meeting people and being in social situations, I can't do meaningless chit-chat, and feel very "shallow" when comparing myself to others. But this is ME; this is who I am.

I rejected friendships by acting nonchalant. They talked to me but I was never sure what to say, and I never made an effort to speak to them about something. This was in high school, which was when social anxiety was in it's peak. I wanted friends but pushed all potential friends away with my awkwardness.

I never reject a friend, others reject me. Like i said:we have never enough close friend

I'll let you know why when I figure out how to identify when someone's trying to befriend me.

I don't want to be friends with certain individuals. In 7th grade I was friends with this girl who was kind of bossy and abrasive, but we were still pretty good friends. Over the next year she gradually became downright mean, insensitive, and condescending. So I confronted her about it and I told her I didn't like the way she was treating me, and we stopped being friends. She was the only friend I had, but I decided I would rather have no friends than a bad friend.

More generally, I push potential friends away. I mean, I don't outright tell them I don't want to be friends, but I keep them at a distance so the friendship doesn't develop. Sometimes this is deliberate because I don't like the person, or I just don't know what to say or do. Other times I don't realize I've pushed someone away until they stop trying to talk to me.

When it comes to rejecting friends, I think of it in terms of a two sided scale. What/how much have I given them? What/how much have they given me? How does it compare? Are the two so out of wack, or closely matched?

In my case it came down to realizing that I was giving way more than I was receiving. I had a bunch of friends on FB from high school, who never kept in touch with me, or who brushed me off when I tried to chat online, or never replied to messages of "Hey, what's up?" And I remembered, they weren't all that nice to me in high school. We were only FB friends because of nostalgia, for the sake of memory, so I shut them out, and erase them.

Another factor is where was this friend when I needed them? A friend of mine was going through a period of severe depression, due to job, school and girlfriend woes. I'd call to check on him pretty frequently, and we'd talk for an hour, sometimes two. I'd try to support him, give him advice, buoy his spirits. Last I heard, he seemed to be doing much better.

Yet when the table was turned, when I had been laid off, when I was so depressed that I wound up in six months of therapy, where was he? He never called me. And the final straw was when I was in his city (we live four hours apart) visiting family, and, having a free afternoon, called him to hang out or hit some art museums. He declined saying (no lie) he "didn't feel like going out." When I needed a friend most, he could get off his goddamn ass.
So I deleted his number from my cell, and unfriended him. I haven't spoken to him since then. He recently tried to refriend me, apologizing for not having kept in touch, and I declined the request. What he did to me after what I did for him is simply too much for me to forgive, and honestly if he were to spiral back into depression and snuff himself tomorrow, I wouldn't care in the slightest. He deserves to be alone. I now choose to devote my energies to those friends I have remaining, to not repeat his mistake, and to make sure they know how much I value them!