Envious of my friends who spend the holidays with family

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I have several friends who live in the Atlanta area and during the holidays, they spend their time in big family gatherings. Among them are often their parents and their siblings while I have spent one on one holidays with my aunt who lives with me. Meanwhile, my family lives in Minnesota and I can't go because my mother has untreated schizophrenia and she is very abusive. My dad and my sister Kendra also treat me like a half a person and there is always a lot of comparing to make it sound like she is a better than I am and that hurts. I have often sunk to their level and I have tried to assault my mother and my sister because I feel like they don't back off. My mother also recently made it clear that she doesn't love me and so therefore, I can't ever go home. This is why I envy my friends going to big family get togethers since they don't have to take that kind of abuse.

Is anyone else in the same boat that I am in? If so, what kind of advice can you give me?

Well I can't say that anyone in dad's or mom's side of the family are abusive to me and they never said anything like what your mom said to you. That was awful what your mom said to you. Anyways I do have a cousin on my dad's side that think she's the queen. She hasn't said anything abusive but it's the way she carries herself. The way she walks, talks and her body language. She thinks she's better than me because she is married and has children. She is smarter than me too, took AP classes in high school and graduated college in 3 years. She's several years older than me. She looks down my learning disability. I also have an uncle who is dad's youngest brother and he too looks down me. Dad's family aren't very loving I think. I believe some of them despise me. But no one has said anything abusive to me that I can recall. I think every family has certain relatives that are abusive and mean. No family is perfect.

Now my mom's family are loving but can be downright annoying. Mom is Korean. I think it's really rude when family members ask such personal questions. My aunts and some female cousins of mine have asked me when I'm going to get married. All of my cousins except for one are married and have children of their own. So does that mean I have to be married too?

Thanks, your advice has been very helpful but it's still quite painful and sometimes all I want to do is cry. Other times, I feel like I could strangle my friends for going over to their family functions and then don't think to invite me and it hurts.

I used to have a respite provider who used to get paid to take me to and from my aunt's house whenever my aunt would go out of town and I would stay home alone, and this woman lived in the area and was supposed to be there if I needed anything. However, one evening, her father came into town and she had another client over there having dinner with the two of them. She didn't seem too interested in wanting to invite me over and that really hurt. She knew good and well it was the Holidays and it was like she didn't even care.

I am also a little razzled at my other friend right now because she is going with her husband to do things with his brother-in-law's family and didn't think to ask me. However, I don't know them and maybe they don't have room for excess guests at the table? I just feel very left out during things like Holidays.

I feel left out at work too. Yesterday was awful too. I work with 10 other people. There were 6 of us in the office. Fatima emailed 3 other people about going to Starbucks since they were having a special where you can buy a holiday drink and get another for free. Well she never emailed me or another co worker. Why did she leave me and my other co worker out? But she did ask me and my other co worker if we wanted to go. My other co worker has some learning disability, not sure what though. I have learning disability and aspergers. So I assume Fatima just looks down me. But it was rude of her to not include me in her emails. That's how it goes at work. When Fatima was pregnant with her 3rd child, all of my co workers left the office to visit her and came back together. They never emailed me or asked me in person if I wanted to go. These people have no excuse to be this rude and immature. WE do! I don't get it. I know what these people did were wrong, yet they don't know any better? So don't feel too bad. True friends don't hurt each other. A loving family doesn't hurt each other, but I think all families has at least one relative that is just downright rude and mean. I hate it when relatives look down me because I'm not married. It's my life if I choose to be single. I think about this. I rather be single than be with a abusive husband. We ladies are free to date whoever we want and whenever. We aren't tied down to one man and annoying children. BTW, I'm around your age too.

I'm sorry you feel this way and I wish I knew what to suggest! It's a bad time of year for many people because of family stuff or feeling isolated. Maybe if the holidays weren't supposed to be this joyous time, it would feel less this way.... I dunno. But I'm sorry about your situation.

I do feel isolated during things like Holidays when friends that I consider family go spend time with there loved ones. I have an aunt who has played the mother figure to me for the past 7 and a half years when she took me in after moving to Atlanta. A lot of people try to tell me that she has been a mother to me and they're right. At the same time, I dealt with my own parents for 20 years and that is much longer than 7 and a half years and so it's more painful.