Does anyone else seriouly have this problem
So Ive been thinking for about a year or so why exactly do I have as much problems making friends and establishing a group of friends? I think Ive posted about this before like a year ago. I think by now much of my social skills are in tact, Im not perfect its gotten to the point where there at least "ok" and Im not making as much social mistakes. I also find that my personality is starting to come out more. I warm up to people much faster, Im no longer extremely distant and monotone when I first talk to people. I know how to make small talk with people I dont know very well. So how come I still have problems building a group of friends? I was figuring it had to do with me now knowing how to go with the "flow" of communication. You know that phrase, "go with the flow", well I dont know what the "flow" is? I still dont know when its ok to talk to people, intiate times to hangout with people, under what situation. How long do I hang around a person when I talk to them. How do u develop the relationship with people and build it. How do I convey to people that Im interested in getting to know them without actually saying so. I think many of the people I know think Im just not interested in getting to know them. Ive known some fellow aspies in person and attempted to pay attention to what they do. A couple of them just go up to a lot of people(often in an ackward manner) and then they just talk to them. Personally I also have social anxiety which definetly has a huge effect on me. I think that Aspergers and Social Anxiety alone hamper a persons ability to make friends. For me its a double edged sword.
Yea! (Sorry, not trying to be mean)
I've thought about this before.
I have this problem too.
I think part of friendship needs to be common grounds, and chemistry.
Also, I read something somewhere that said: "a friend is someone who tries to make another person happy".
Try being funny, I guess. (I've been trying to work on that)
Also, don't get offended (and if you do, make it funny).
Oh, and the common ground things, I'll explain.
People who live in the same neighborhood, go to the same school, are in the same church.
There is a reason they are most likely to be friends...convenience.
I mean, who wants to drive 45 min. to go see a movie with someone when they can see one with the person who live 2 doors down.
Or, who wants to go to a new place and make friends when they can make friends with the kids that they have hung out with since they were 5.
So, thats my thoughts on the matter.
Other than that, Idk.
I'm still learning how to make small talk. (well with guys, because I don't care what girls think, but a guy, well, I am a girl, and Idk, I am a little scared of liking someone because people have tried that and I don't know how to react 10x more than with friends, so I still try to gravitate towards the guys that everyone can talk to, but that is hard for me too).
I know I can make friends on the internet though.
In fact, I almost had a boyfriend on the internet, but I kinda broke it off after a LOT of pressuring from my parents.
Oh, and the common ground things, I'll explain.
People who live in the same neighborhood, go to the same school, are in the same church.
There is a reason they are most likely to be friends...convenience.
I agree with that. Geographic proximity can make a big difference. Do your friends live near you?