Very stressful social experience

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Hello everyone. Yesterday I had a hard day, it was kinda fun, but regrettably it was a difficult time.
I am a recluse with Asperger's. I never leave my house, don't have any friends, and I like it that way.
But yesterday, I went out for the first time on my own in almost two years.

I walked a long way through the neighborhood and to a store where I sat down for a while at a bench.
Someone came by and asked if I wanted to smoke, I said yeah sure.
We had a long conversation, talked about all kinds of things, music, even though it was not my kind of music, some things philosophical, some things about how weird people are these days.
We talked and walked all day. We got along pretty well. He was like a complete opposite of me though. We had already thought of each other as friends, good friends even.

I ran into some very awkward social situations when he initiated conversations with people though.
He wasn't awkward in an Asperger's kind of way, it was entirely different.
It was like he was intentionally trying to mess with people just to make social experimentation.
I'm not too sure about him as a friend after things that happened.

He was extremely outgoing with people, but people often walked away from him as they thought he was insane and obnoxious.
He said some pretty inappropriate stuff I think. It didn't bother me too much (maybe sometimes, but I'm very tolerant), but it bothered others.
Stuff like belching in front of people intentionally, and other stuff I wouldn't do.
We even got into a verbal fight with one guy sorta over him belching loudly in a coffee shop.
The guy fighting us kept attacking and I just kept saying sorry about him, and we left in a hurry, it was drama.

At the end of the day I was exhausted and a bit scared.
During the whole experience I remained calm though, and just tried to avoid making myself look bad (he was making himself look bad, but just being around him made me look bad too).
Sometimes I wondered if he might even have Asperger's tiny bit too. But he is way too social, but he is very awkward with others from what I saw.
It seemed like he was doing it on purpose though just to rile people up. Maybe a personality disorder of some kind is what he has.

I feel like I never wanna leave the house again, I don't feel safe out there, and I don't feel safe around that guy. I sure know how to run into strange people.
I ended up giving him my Parent's number. *Sigh* I should have told him early on when I met him at that bench that I had to be somewhere else.
I just don't know how to say no to people, and I'm too generous and tolerant of people.

I swear, every time I go out into the public, I run into trouble like this, all the time, and it's why I never like to leave my house. Every time I met someone new, they are crazy.
I am absolutely sure this happened because I have Asperger's. I'm just so naive, and I always end up hanging around the wrong people like this, every time I go outside.
Two years ago, I hung out with another really weird dude, and weeks after that incident, had another awkward encounter with another weird dude.
Before those times I was a full recluse, never leaving the house for 3 or 4 years.
And three or fours years before those two times, I had yet another awkward encounter.

So to put that more simply, I was a recluse for a few years, went outside one day, got into an awkward encounter hanging out with crazy super social people.
Three or four years of being a recluse again, and I run into two more awkward encounters hanging out with crazy super social people.
Two more years of being a recluse, and I get yesterday.
Do I have the worst luck in this world or what?
I am always dealt a bad hand at life, even in card games I always get a bad hand.

So what is your view on this? What should I do? Why am I asking complete strangers? Probably because you're Aspies and there's gotta be someone who can relate to my experience.
As much as it scares me to talk with strangers right now, I almost don't even wanna send this long winded message.
I was bored and depressed and disillusioned for a long time being inside all the time, and I wanted to do something different... and this is what I get. Beggars can't be choosers.

I can't help but feel like I should be in trouble for the whole encounter, and for typing this whole thing also.
I just feel so affected by the whole experience, a little traumatized.
I don't think he was affected by the people that reacted to him at all.
He didn't really bother me so much, it was just the way people reacted to him that got me so upset.
I know that it was his doing that these people ended up reacting that way though, so in a way he does bother me, of course.
Maybe he didn't know any better?

I dunno what I should do about this.

I don't have all the answers for your questions, but I do think that going out and hanging out with any guy off of the street is probably not the best situation to put yourself in, especially if you are usually a recluse.

NT's do not make friends that quickly, and the reason for that is because of the situation you went through -- if you don't know somebody well, you don't know what they will do in strange situations, and you can't plan for THEIR behavior.

NT's may not do everything right, but in this situation, an NT person would get to know a stranger in STAGES. By that I mean, they would talk with a person for maybe five or ten minutes on a bench, but they definitely wouldn't give that person their phone number, and they definitely wouldn't then spend most of the day with this person they just met. They would talk for five or ten minutes, and then make up an excuse to end the conversation and then they would be on their way to their next endeavor. The reason for this is basically self-preservation. It's hard to keep up a conversation for more than 10 minutes with someone you don't know, and it's often not a good idea to make fast friends with someone you don't know. It's just not safe.

You sound like a nice person. You talked about your naivete, and how you are too trusting of people, which I think is a very common characteristic of people on the spectrum. Trouble is, this trusting character of yours isn't beneficial to you -- being too trusting allows you to be taken advantage of. Meeting people out in the street leaves you open to situations that aren't safe, or as in your experience yesterday, are somewhat annoying. Meeting people who you could learn to be friends with must be done in a more controlled environment, such as an adult-education class, or a group who enjoys the same pasttimes as you do, or a church group -- whatever -- but in these situations, there's more of a chance to go through the STAGES of friendship, such as talking for the first time, then seeing someone again and talking over coffee, then seeing someone again and having lunch, then seeing someone again and going out for a movie, etc. These are more natural stages to friendship development.

I agree with what you said schleppenheimer. This all moved way too fast. I thought there was something strange about the whole thing.
I've been kinda thinking that I should tell him that we probably shouldn't hang out anymore, but I think maybe that would be the wrong move, it sounds too aggressive.
I'm thinking maybe I should just try to keep my distance. I'm not sure how this all happened, I don't recall all of the details.

I did technically get to know him better in stages over the course of the day, although in a different way of meaning of the word stages. I have to admit, I didn't like the later stages.
He was nice when it was just me and him talking, but when there were other people, he was just way too awkward. Man, to be honest, I'm freaking scared still.
I'm not sure what to say when I talk to him on the phone in a few days. I think I might say that I feel sick if he says he wants to hang out, but that's a temporary fix. (I do feel a little sick after this whole ordeal.)

After that, I'll have to talk to him on the phone again probably, we'll probably end up hanging out again. But I don't want him to know where I live. What if he wanted to drive me from my house out somewhere.
Man, this sucks. I don't wanna be a jerk and say no, but I don't know what else to do. Maybe I'll just tell him that I don't know him very well, but he might insist that we get to know each other better most likely.
It just felt dangerous going outside, and the whole time being around him. Maybe I'll tell him that I have a severe recluse personality and that I don't wanna go out because of my disorder, which is true.
I'll tell him that it's my problem and not his, I just don't like being around people other than family much, and I despise going out in public. Also I'm quitting smoking. It's bad for me, and I've been trying to quit.

I think that might just work fine. He might not take it so badly, he wasn't remotely affected by the negative responses he got from people when he was acting up.
Who knows, but this is probably the best I can do. He isn't dangerous in a way that I should be too scared, he is a nice guy, he's just hard to be around.
I hate to disappoint him though, he was calling me his brother and stuff, it was out there.
This is all so freaking awkward, but stuff like this does happen, I've seen it in TV shows where a new friendship developed too fast ends up getting weird fast, and they just say that they shouldn't hang out.

I think this is a great idea, not only because I think it will work, but it's actually the truth.

From your description, this guy doesn't sound like a safe person to be around. Your kindness makes you thoughtful of his feelings, and ordinarily I would really think that was important -- BUT, in this case, your safety is more important than this guy's feelings.

All of us have made a friend too quickly, and lived to regret it later. That's how come, when we are older, we are a little suspicious of really quick friendships -- and we tend to keep people more at arm's length. It's a safety mechanism.

Hope you will get out again sometime, but this time, try and find a class or some kind of service-oriented group to get together with, and make friends that way. That's how I plan to do things in the future. It's scary, but safer than trying to strike up a friendship with a stranger that you meet randomly.

Normal nonautistics will never like you. The only ones who will like you will be considered weird by everyone else. Either avoid everyone or accept it.

That's kinda harsh, but that's true, you're right, I can only really fit in with weirdos like that, that's the way it's been my whole life. My plan is to avoid everyone.

There are lots of cool, weird nonautistics. You'll never know in advance which are which. But nobody knows that, they only think they do.

Yeah, of course there are, cool people without Autism, yeah. But I don't care really, I plan on staying in my room until I die, which should be about 60 years from now. Sounds like torture.
But there's nothing better to do. I hate going outside, it's like swimming underwater with sharks.

Anyway, I asked my Parents to change their number, they said they'll do it tomorrow morning.
I feel pretty bad about this whole thing, it's pretty sad. Too bad.
Life is pain, get over it, or end up sinking into it and becoming it, pain.

Cool.

I have successfully made friends with other non-NT people. It might be a serviceable compromise if you don't want to deal with NT code every day forever, or be surrounded by weirdos. I mean, maybe you will be lucky and meet other awesome AS people.

I find it easier to connect with people who are non-NT even if they're different from me, which they usually are.

I wish I knew a reliable method for finding cool NTs (or NTishes). I've encountered them randomly. Maybe 1 in 20 is cool and will like you and you'll feel normal and accepted near them. It's very disheartening when you meet lots of bad ones in a row.

I get picked on a lot. It's like some NTs don't want to understand that other people think in different ways.

Actually, that's not true. Normal neurotypicals with very kind, loving hearts may like you. I have had a friend since first grade who is normal, and she's a really good person. I guess you could consider another one of my friends normal, but he's also another genius so I don't know if that counts.

I severely doubt I could ever meet anyone anyway though. I am very house bound.
I have no idea what is a good place to meet people "the right way".
I would never, ever go back to school, I am very school phobic, and it has been 5 or 6 years since I dropped out of high school.

I can't even bare to see movies with schools in them on TV, it always reminds me.
I was bullied a lot, and I was never paying attention in school because it was just too painful to stop doodling and daydreaming.
So, just in case someone mentions that school is a good way to meet new people, just to let you know, I'm NEVER doing that, I'd rather get eaten by a pack of lions. Seriously.

It sucks being house bound though. I'm running out of things to do. I've lost interest in just about everything most of the time.
Sometimes I play a video game here and there, but video games are just not as fun as they used to be.
I watch a lot of TV sometimes, but it's usually the same show over and over again (different episodes, but usually re-runs)
The high point of my day is usually when I finally get to go to sleep at night.

As little that there is to do inside, in my opinion, there is even less to do outside.
There is literally nothing out there that I find interesting. The best thing about going outside would be walking in a nice park or lake, but that's no way to meet people from what I just experienced.
It seems everyone meets each other at some type of group setting, like a school or work, and those are two things I cannot do.

It sucks being dependent on my parents all of the time, but what can I do? I can't work, no way, I would freak out, literally, and probably end up in a mental hospital. Especially if something goes wrong, even something considered trivial.

I'm sure there are nice people out there, but there is a massive barrier between us. Plus, a person being nice depends on the situation. A person considered nice could be mean depending on the situation.
I don't even care to meet new people anymore really, or at least, I don't hope for it anymore. I guess it could be nice, but the risks are outweighing the benefits by far.

I might be very bored with my constant home life most of the time, but as far as I can see, there isn't much else to do. I just don't find myself interested in anything outside of my usual routine.
I wish I could find something interesting to do, believe me I have looked and am always looking, but in vain.
I just cling to my old ways of playing video games and watching my favorite TV shows and isolating myself from everyone.