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Aelith
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25 Nov 2010, 12:47 pm

I don't post on here a lot, but I am told I have problem, I think.

I point out to people when they've made mistakes or when stories they're telling aren't factual. I don't understand why someone would want to be wrong or to look like they don't know what they're talking about, but people usually get kind of defensive and mad when I do this. I can't stop though - I mean, if you're misusing the apostrophe, wouldn't you want to know? Or when someone is telling people their mother's friend knows twins named Lemonjello and Oranjello, what's wrong with pointing out that that's actually an urban legend?

Argh the only person who understands is my husband. Everyone else thinks I'm a jerk.



IvyMike
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25 Nov 2010, 12:56 pm

This is why aspies are the master race. NTs can't handle the truth.



Chronos
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25 Nov 2010, 1:00 pm

I would think most people would want to know as well.

However I can see how people would get annoyed if you were correcting them on something they viewed as irrelevant at the time.

Perhaps, you may want to rephrase the way you correct them as well. Instead of saying "actually, it's" or something definite, you might try saying "I heard..." or "I think"


Aelith wrote:
I don't post on here a lot, but I am told I have problem, I think.

I point out to people when they've made mistakes or when stories they're telling aren't factual. I don't understand why someone would want to be wrong or to look like they don't know what they're talking about, but people usually get kind of defensive and mad when I do this. I can't stop though - I mean, if you're misusing the apostrophe, wouldn't you want to know? Or when someone is telling people their mother's friend knows twins named Lemonjello and Oranjello, what's wrong with pointing out that that's actually an urban legend?

Argh the only person who understands is my husband. Everyone else thinks I'm a jerk.



Aelith
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Joined: 27 Jan 2008
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Location: Western New York

25 Nov 2010, 1:16 pm

IvyMike wrote:
This is why aspies are the master race. NTs can't handle the truth.


:D



Aelith
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25 Nov 2010, 1:19 pm

That's where the trouble lies for me; I jump in post haste with correction and don't consider what I'm saying. It's like if I don't say it I'll think about it too much and then the moment will have passed. It always feels so forced to use "I think," "I feel," especially when I know I'm right :)



mightypen515
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01 Feb 2011, 12:40 am

Aelith wrote:
I don't post on here a lot, but I am told I have problem, I think.

I point out to people when they've made mistakes or when stories they're telling aren't factual. I don't understand why someone would want to be wrong or to look like they don't know what they're talking about, but people usually get kind of defensive and mad when I do this. I can't stop though - I mean, if you're misusing the apostrophe, wouldn't you want to know? Or when someone is telling people their mother's friend knows twins named Lemonjello and Oranjello, what's wrong with pointing out that that's actually an urban legend?

Argh the only person who understands is my husband. Everyone else thinks I'm a jerk.


I'm sorry, I know this post is two months old, but I can't resist. and I'm not ready to go to bed yet.
Oh that makes me laugh. You're the one with the problem?
Some people are storytellers. They get defensive and mad because they're embarrassed you know, and pointed it out.
Some people enjoy gossiping and telling those stories that are urban legend. Any quotes from Barbara Mikkelson at Snopes, and they're dumbfounded.
I begged my friend the other day, please, please go to Snopes and check it out before you tell that story to anyone else, please, because you have no idea how popular Snopes is, and everyone will know it's a story and think you're dumb.
Some people might think you're being rude to point it out. Rudeness is one thing. Helpin' a sister out is another. I try to do it gently when I can. I say "You know, you might want to change 'it's' to 'its'. The apostrophe for that word always denotes the contraction of "it is", but if you're showing possession, it needs to be "its," denoting belonging.
I was the stupid one. I had to argue the point. "It only works this way with this particular issue, ITS or IT'S." Went to the dictionary and brought it to him. Picked up my old grammar textbook from high school 20 years ago and showed him the page that explained how it works. Originally, I was wrong - then eventually, I was wrong to point it out. "Someone will say something. And they won't be as nice."
yes, if I'm misusing the apostrophe, I wanna know. No, I do not want that in print with my name on it. A post on a faceless, nameless board, chat or forum is one thing. Those hugged-up with text forgive one another for those little things. But when your items say, "Contributed by MY NAME" and you want people to take you seriously, you want your stuff correct - not just factually, but grammatically as well. Many misunderstandings are based on one of two participating parties knowing grammar better than the other. So Mr. Grammatically Correct reads something the author didn't intend because the author used improper grammar, that is, didn't make himself perfectly clear.
Okay, this is my one: knowing a lot more about something than someone else does, and while he's droning about what he knows, I find myself creating a list in my head of the facts that he has wrong. Often, it's something I got so obsessed with I could've earned a degree, then dropped it for a different obsession.
Example: my friend insisted Walter Payton's nickname was "Sweet Feet."
Argued with me, I tried him to show him proof and he wouldn't read it. "How are YOU ever going to know that?"
That pissed me off. "I don't want to be rude," I say, "but I have to tell you, any NFL fan will be quick to point it out and you'll feel embarrassed." Finally, I dare him, to put it out there for random consumption. See, I was getting mad because I know - know - a lot of NFL trivia. Not because I'm a football fan, it was just a thing to be obsessed with for a while. And what's wrong or surprising about happening to know the nickname of a football player? He was just one of the greatest running backs the NFL was ever blessed with and a Hall of Famer (digressing, here). But still, if I happen to know the name of a chocolatier in southern France that sells chocolates by some monks, is that okay, that I know that?
I don't tell him...that he's remembering an episode of the damn Cosby Show and doesn't realize it!! !! !!
Meltdown. Enraged. I spoke through clenched teeth, "Sweetness. Idiot."
Huh, he says. "Sweetness. The Payton's nickname was Sweetness." I hold back where I want to say, "Rudy's nickname was Sweet Feet!! !! !"
But it happened. I said it like I was vomiting it into his lap, I was so mad. "Go post Sweet Feet on your MySpace and see what happens."
Yeah. Like the Cosby Show wasn't all that popular show, not at all. Folks, he did post it. He did. It was easier for him to post that but the hardest thing in the world to look it up on the Internet. Wikipedia is only a few clicks away. Three days later, some 40-year-old pointed it out, and he wasn't nice about it. That man was an NFL fan, a very defensive and aggressive NFL fan. I kept my mouth shut, and he got post after post making fun of him.

It's not that YOU are wrong to point it out. If was telling you a story, and you pointed out I was wrong, I would take it based on how you're saying it. Gently, and I'd be grateful. Embarrassed but grateful. Rudely, and I'd be grateful. Embarrassed and angry, but grateful. In my example above, I did things rudely. A rule of thumb I try to follow is not offering an opinion unless I'm asked, then I'm honest with my opinion, after I've asked, "Are you positive you want my opinion?" However. I will stop someone in the middle of a sentence to tell them, "That's not true. It wasn't an entire pod of killer whales killing and eating pods of great whites. It was one killer whale, and she was pretty much chomping out a great white's liver or another organ and leaving the body to scavengers. And great whites don't do pods. But they might pair up sometimes, like with a mating partner or a BFF."
And sometimes, it seems some things I know ought to be common knowledge and I'm dumbfounded, stunned to find that it isn't - and that's my fault, not theirs. Like where ambergris comes from. My friend swore up and down that algae trees create it and it fossilizes, like amber is tree resin, sap that fossilizes. Oh.My.Gawd. And he wasn't screwing with me. He truly did not know. He just thought he knew. I'd rather someone say they don't know than try to make something up, if that was what he was doing. Not the same stuff, I say, not even close. He really thought I was stupid for believing that ambergris would actually be produced inside a sperm whale. I tell him sperm whales barf it up. Finders are lucky to find a large chunk of it. When they barf it up, it's bigger and might have a few squid beaks in it. It's just lube, for sharp things in their systems, I tell him. Again, had to show him a source before he'd ever entertain the idea that perfumery might include a gross looking waxy chunk of whale bile. "One of these days," I said, "you're gonna be on a date with a great girl who happens to know a lot about perfume, and because of what you know now, you won't look like an idiot."

There's no such thing as "too factual." Too factual is a blessing!