A person that goes to a public place alone is creepy

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This is a common piece of wisdom.

Yet sometimes we just want to be alone in public, away from the distractions of the home.

Nevertheless, a man that sits alone in a public place will be forever regarded as a creeper, a potential threat, and mentally ill.

How do you feel about this, knowing that it very likely applies to you?

I just ignore the people that think that way, because I know most of them are not smart enough to comprehend that some of us just like to be alone and enjoy ourselves.

This. The dislike of those who prefer to be alone (not just aspies, but introverts in general,) is one of the most odious parts of NT culture.

I really don't think most people have this perception.

Hello,

Yupa, you certainly have a point. Some NTs have a serious problem understanding that some people just don't want to converse at any given moment. They may think that anyone who declines conversation is just rejecting them personally.

(To some extent, this perception may be due to the fact that people who really don't want to talk to a particular individual just say "I don't feel like chatting right now". If that lie was believed most of the time, it may actually help soothe people's feelings. When people suspect it, however, it becomes useless even for that.)

On the other hand, Chronos has a point, too. Most public places I've seen cast little or no stigma on someone going in by oneself.

Do you have reason to believe people are accusing you of acting creepy, Yupa?

Cheers,

People who go to public places alone are wise and personal safety conscious. Wiser than people who go to non public places alone.

It depends on the public place and whether other people, on the spectrum or not, are likely to go alone or not. For instance I rarely go to a pub alone (at least nowadays) because it's not a place people tend to go to alone. Going to a cafe is seen as perfectly fine as many people do that alone.

Never heard that one before... But hey, this is just another situation where you have to ask, "who gives a f**k what people I'll never see again think of me?"

I think we can feel creepy and that others think we are being creepy when the reality is, no one else really gives a hoot if you're alone. I recommend that you get comfortable with yourself and focus on what you're about, and you will start to feel better.

Well, I'm not so sure about this. If I saw someone sitting alone at a restaurant, or going to a movie alone, I wouldn't give it a second thought. I do those things alone, because the only other person I know is my husband, and one of us needs to stay home with the kids. Also, I enjoy my own company.

First a disclaimer: I've come to the conclusion that, although I have a few AS traits, and I'm definitely an introvert, and haven't the foggiest clue how to get to know someone, I'm not actually on the spectrum. At the most I'm borderline AS.

Anyway, I go to public places alone. I always have. I go to movies and restaurants alone, and certainly go shopping by myself. Why wouldn't I? And how is that creepy? If people do find it creepy, I suspect that would have something to do with their own insecurities.

In fact, next month I'm flying to New York and attending a play all by myself. I don't know anyone who can accompany me, but I'm certainly not letting that stop me, because the play stars Alan Rickman. My desire to see him on stage is far greater than any fear of doing something alone (and this is way out of my comfort zone). No one is going to notice or care about me being there alone. They'll be watching the play. If they get creeped out by my aloneness, then they certainly need to reexamine their priorities.

I used to feel like this, but I'd rather go places alone than not experience them at all. I go to movies and shows alone a lot. I've been to Vegas alone a couple of times (incidentally, blackjack and craps are a great place to make friends, I have found. People love you if you help them win money.)

ThoughI do have friends, they are either living a longd way away, or in relationships, so much of the time, I would be alone.
I therefore spend a lot more of my time at home alone, rather than going to public social places, like pubs or movie theatres, where generally people never go alone and you therefore stand out as being Billy no mates.
I have to say this isnt so bad when you get old as older people are often expected to have lost contact with friends when they got married, and now with divorce, its a lot more common.

The place I will not go however, is I live next to a woods, though I love nature and like to see the Bluebells in spring, unless you are with somebody or are taking your dog fro a walk, a single man walking through the woods is viewed as a potential rapist or bumer, ( somebody who likes to get to know young boys in unappropriate ways in the woods).
I went for a walk there alone just once, the looks I got from people made me feel very uncomfortable.

well when i was in high school/college i would go to movies alone without a second thought. i just didnt care and i usually went at the most random, bad weather weekend times. now a bar or a club or a restaurant (unless its fast food) , i will not go alone. it will be too obvious and i will get too self conscious knowing im not there for anyone but myself. when the movie "the hangover" came out last year and i was under extreme stress, i went to a movie by myself after almost 5 years of not doing it. it wasnt as bad or evil or sad once i was in the theater all by myself. the thing is that no one really gives a s**t if you're there alone .we just think they do give a s**t. sure they might look at you funny or even talk about you after the fact but more often than not, they wont even know and/or care you are alone. i go shopping alone, i go to the gym alone, i go to the library alone. why should i be ashamed and so weird about being independent? about experiencing and exploring life alone? sure its not all that great at times to be alone but its not like i have a disease or something. its just personal preference. introverts are the quiet, unseen minority especially in extrovert usa.

are only males regarded in this way?

i think its possible there is a slight bias from society and the media in general that male loners are more creepy (you know the usual psychopath/sociopath/crazy/weird/strange/odd/angry individuals) than female loners. most nt guys will either think its sexy and try to capitalize on it or they will run away screaming to their friends "she's a f*****g loner! she has no friends! she eats at mcdonald's alone!", etc. of course im exaggerating, while being cynical and bias too. but us cool male loners will probably love it and respect you for it. one less thing off the list of feeling the "pressure to fit in" with the ladies.

What about a woman?

But, if people think of me that way, wel that is their opinion. But I am not going to stay locked up in the house because of what people think.