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YankeesGamer24
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14 Dec 2010, 6:01 pm

My best friend who is a girl was talking with another mutual friend that is also a girl, and when I passed by and saw them talking, I tried to join in to see whats up they said that it was just between the two of us. There was a bunch of us hanging out and the two of them left and I'm assuming my best friend initiated it to talk to the other girl alone. She did this once before a few weeks ago when the two of them went to go get something and when I tried to join them, they said they wanted to be alone. I did catch one hint from their conversation as i heard my friend say something about her close friend's friend. Something like "Lisa's friend....." I talked to my friend afterward and said that I don't understand why your hiding things from me and I would feel a lot better if you at least gave me some idea of what you were talking about. Than she responding by saying "It's none of your concern". I know i probably shouldn't be bothered by this, but it's really getting to me. I don't know if I can be close friends with someone that needs to hide secrets from me. Is it normal for girls to hide things from their guy friends? Does anyone have any idea what they could possibly be talking about? Thanks!



RaquiGirl
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14 Dec 2010, 6:14 pm

They might be talking about other guys, in which case she might be embarrassed if you knew what she was talking about. In any case, even best friends keep some secrets from each other. I wouldn't care to talk about a lot of things with a guy, no matter if he was a love interest or not... ranging anywhere from other guys to menstrual cycles.

If there are no other signs that she's betrayed your trust or otherwise been a bad friend, just let it go. You'll feel better. If you insist on meddling in her business, you could ruin a surprise party, embarrass her unnecessarily or just ruin your friendship by annoying her and not letting her have her own life.

As an Apsie, I know I want to know everything and be as close to and connected with my friends as possible, but a good NT friendship allows for more freedom than that, as far as I can tell. I've been accused of getting too smothering before, so best to keep a lid on your curiosity. :)


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YankeesGamer24
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14 Dec 2010, 6:50 pm

Ok, now i think i know who it is. She was initiating a private conversation with another girl, so she was probably talking about a guy. The girl she mentioned has very few guy friends, and only one that I think she knows. She has lunch with him and her twice a week. I saw them today, and she invited him to a Christmas party thing were doing. So I'm about 75% sure now. Now I feel the need to say something or mess with her about it, but I don't think she'll take that very well. It's gonna be very hard to keep my mouth shut. Well, t least now I won't be bothered by her hiding something.



RaquiGirl
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14 Dec 2010, 6:57 pm

If you mess with her about it, just be sure you're willing to accept the consequences, which could be the ruination of your friendship... glad you feel better at least! :)


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Arman_Khodaei
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14 Dec 2010, 11:32 pm

Yes, girls keep secrets. That is most very common. And, there can various reasons, or there are just some things they are embarrassed to talk about with someone else. As long as she isn't talking behind her back about you, or doing anything that is hurtful, then my advice is to try and understand that we just can't know everything. Myself, on the autism spectrum, I also have the desire to know everything, and knows how that is like, but like the poster said above, being too nosy can end an otherwise good friendship.


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MCalavera
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16 Dec 2010, 6:58 am

YankeesGamer24, you sound a bit too clingy with that girl, don't you reckon?

Relax. Let the girls do their girly stuff without you interfering while you concentrate on your manliness.

Besides, why do you have a girl as your best friend? That's rarely a good thing, especially if you have feelings for her.



bobbysands
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24 Dec 2010, 7:32 am

YankeesGamer24, what you need to do is let go of her. I was friends with a NT-girl for 9-months and we shared secrets with each other. Now she's let go of me, I can move forward and I feel much better for it now. It's very unhealthy of girls to keep secrets, as well as their bitchiness. Make some new female friends instead. Have more than one female friend next time and don't share too many secrets.