Gossip

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Do you think it is ever OK to talk about other people? Why?

I think it's okay to talk about other people if that story directly connects to mine. For example, if I'm talking about the time my family went to Disneyworld, it's reasonable to mention that my sister got lost running away from Mickey, whom she was scared of because a mouse got into her year-old stash of Halloween candy, and we spent hours looking for her. Otherwise, no. Unless they're fictional people.

Sometimes, I have to get certain things out of my system. Sometimes, I do need to tell about the situation and get a reaction on how badly I effed up from an uninvolved source. Also, it is hard always to keep up appearances. This is why I talk quite a bit with my parents about the people I were in contact with over the day. I don't do that for strategic reasons, bt I feel that it is beneficial for my sanity.

Cicely --

So it sounds like you think it's OK to talk to people if you're explaining something having to do with them. Is that right?

@Lost: What about when a pundit writes a book complaining about other pundits? Is it OK that he's talking about other people in that situation? My instincts tell me "no", but I'm not sure why.

I'm also not sure why it's OK for me to talk about pundits, even generally, like I am now.

On the other hand, I do feel like I have to talk about talking about someone, in order to figure out whether I can talk about that person

Depends, do you mind people talking about you?

If so, don't gossip.

Well I do mind other people talking about me. But should I always mind it? Or am I sometimes wrong to mind it?

What happens if you need to talk about someone behind their backs because you are concerned about them
and want to get some advice in helping them. Another reason I can think of is that a big event could be
happening in that persons life.

It depends.

The social conventions are:

- you can talk about someone BUT never ever in a bad way, and never spreading rumors or private life details.

You may mind people talking about you if they are saying wrong or bad things about you.

Of course. Everyone talks behind each other's backs, even members of my family do it to each other. It's pretty standard.

humaNT is overrated.

I dunno. Sometimes I have this strange idea that I should never talk about anybody at all, but only about objects.

Just the negative kind of talk about you

If you are getting paranoid about what people might say about you or what you think you heard them say about you, get help.

I'm not paranoid, I hope. It's just that I think people relate to each other through gossiping about each other, and I've noticed that I don't ever feel quite comfortable talking about other people -- so that's one way people relate to each other (gossiping) that I am not relating to people. I mean, I know that if I gossip more, then I will be able to join a lot more kinds of conversations, but at the same time, I'm afraid the conversations are bad, so I don't want to really join them. So if I knew when it is and is not right to gossip, I could join in the good conversations but avoid the bad ones. But if it is never OK to gossip, then I should never join those conversations.