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js3521
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29 Dec 2010, 11:58 am

Supposedly, confidence is a very attractive characteristic for a person to have. WordNetWeb defines confidence as follows:

Quote:
assurance: freedom from doubt; belief in yourself and your abilities


I've never been able to understand why this is attractive. I'm of the opinion that the opposite is true; if a person is able to admit that he or she could be wrong, I see him or her as having far more credibility than most people. To me, this shows a more open mind and an understanding that there is more information available than has been considered.

What do you guys think?



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29 Dec 2010, 12:24 pm

Has to do with the emotional state of being confident.

It's calm, it's stable, it's somewhat romantic.


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CranialRectosis
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29 Dec 2010, 12:24 pm

We think logically. NTs think emotionally.

In my experience, NTs tend to be more impressed with form than function.

NTs will do something or make a large decision based on feelings and intuition largely so they can blame someone else when they are wrong.

Aspies collect and analyse data and make the best decision we can based on that data.

Even when we are right, we have to be wrong to make NTs feel good or we get bullied and coerced out of the topic.

NTs and their thoughts and concepts are irrational and should be avoided for any practical application.



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29 Dec 2010, 12:42 pm

Too much confidence is just annoying. But zero confidence is just not attractive either. Balance is good when it comes to most things.


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29 Dec 2010, 2:09 pm

js3521 wrote:
I'm of the opinion that the opposite is true; if a person is able to admit that he or she could be wrong, I see him or her as having far more credibility than most people.


This is part of how I define confidence. I think it is the people who are confident who are able to flex and can admit that some aspect of an idea can be wrong. It is the people who lack confidence who become incapable of questioning their own ideas and preconceptions.

An example might be a person who is unsure of their sexuality might be more quick to attack homosexuals whereas a person who is confident in their sexuality would not have anything to fear from another person's preferences.


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29 Dec 2010, 5:02 pm

Well, almost no one likes a lack of confidence. As to why it seems so incredibly important to (I presume this is what you mean) straight female people, that might just be a brain-wiring difference that can't be understood without having that wiring yourself. It's probably strange to at least some women why (straight) guys are so obsessed with boobs.

I recall a trans woman who said that as her hormones changed her interest in breasts dropped to zero. On telling a male friend about it, he replied, "my god, you really are going over to the other side. Traitor."



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29 Dec 2010, 5:39 pm

js3521 wrote:
Supposedly, confidence is a very attractive characteristic for a person to have. WordNetWeb defines confidence as follows:

Quote:
assurance: freedom from doubt; belief in yourself and your abilities


I've never been able to understand why this is attractive. I'm of the opinion that the opposite is true; if a person is able to admit that he or she could be wrong, I see him or her as having far more credibility than most people. To me, this shows a more open mind and an understanding that there is more information available than has been considered.

What do you guys think?


I am confident in my ability to be wrong without it being a big deal.

Quote:
assurance: freedom from doubt; belief in yourself and your abilities


I guess you can be confident and wrong, and confident and right. Misplaced confidence is still confidence.


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29 Dec 2010, 5:46 pm

I think that confidence is a good thing to have, and people like a confident person. :)


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29 Dec 2010, 9:25 pm

jagatai wrote:
js3521 wrote:
I'm of the opinion that the opposite is true; if a person is able to admit that he or she could be wrong, I see him or her as having far more credibility than most people.


This is part of how I define confidence. I think it is the people who are confident who are able to flex and can admit that some aspect of an idea can be wrong. It is the people who lack confidence who become incapable of questioning their own ideas and preconceptions.


Agreed, very much so. I think not being able to admit that one is wrong is, in fact, a sign of lack of self-confidence. I have enough confidence in myself and my abilities that my ego is not wounded by admitting that I have erred. Neither is it injured by questioning my ideas/opinions/perceptions.


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31 Dec 2010, 9:35 am

Kaybee wrote:

Agreed, very much so. I think not being able to admit that one is wrong is, in fact, a sign of lack of self-confidence.


If they get defensive in the face of even mild disagreement, than yeah, it probably is a lack of confidence. But, I've met people I thought were genuinely confident that had no use for anybody that didn't agree with everything they said. Maybe you can be both confident/ insecure at the same time.

To answer the OP's question, confidence does make somebody more desirable, for some reason I can't discern.



emlion
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02 Jan 2011, 5:44 pm

Confident, yes.
Arrogant, no.



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02 Jan 2011, 5:59 pm

Yeah I guess. I like girls who are more "NT" and outgoing than me. They are usually more confident.



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03 Jan 2011, 8:11 am

Confidence means nothing to me. I care for respect and high morals. Those are what's attractive.

Oh, and she has to be hot with two nice titties and a vagina. NO BALLS!



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03 Jan 2011, 9:21 am

Confidence is attractive but it's not everything. I recall hearing all people judge by physical characteristics and first impression. Eg women will prefer tall guys that are not overweight over those who are. Confidence can help for sure, since it makes the person even greater than if he was with zero confidence. I mean people like condifent mates because they tend to be natural leaders and therefore they can let them lead the relationship.



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04 Jan 2011, 10:05 am

Definately. I have tons of respect for someone who takes the lead and has a "can do" attitude.

However, if I get the hint they don't know what they're doing, that respect quickly fades.

Confidence is good, but without substance, it's just blowing a lot of smoke.



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04 Jan 2011, 2:34 pm

js3521 wrote:
Supposedly, confidence is a very attractive characteristic for a person to have. WordNetWeb defines confidence as follows:

Quote:
assurance: freedom from doubt; belief in yourself and your abilities


I've never been able to understand why this is attractive. I'm of the opinion that the opposite is true; if a person is able to admit that he or she could be wrong, I see him or her as having far more credibility than most people. To me, this shows a more open mind and an understanding that there is more information available than has been considered.

What do you guys think?


I agree, confidence is humility. I don't think your quote means never questioning that you're wrong. Although it could be understood in that context-- I think it means more not questioning your thought of presence when you think you're right.

That doesn't mean don't accept another explanation when proven wrong. It means.. as I did when I was younger, thinking you're right and not raising your hand in class because you feel you'll look stupid.

But I don't think confidence should be considered a necessarily attractive trait, admirable, healthy because it prevents our thoughts from being bottled up.

But its only confident genetically, women like confidence. Men don't care if someone isn't overly confident, but we don't like it when it is SO much the person pushes themselves away from us.