Strange co-worker/aquaintance

Post Reply New Topic

I work at a company and I happen to work with another woman there who is about my age. She is a very strange in that she often latches onto people and acts like their friend. She then goes and talks about them behind their backs as if they are torturing her with things like sexual harassment or pulling nasty tricks like taking off a day from work when they knew good and well that this was her special day and she had to go in. That was what she pulled on me today by accusing me of taking yesterday off so that I could have a day off and she couldn't. She then found ways to exclude me from the conversations today by using a comment that I said to another co-worker about talking and socializing on the clock and made acted very destructive. She also has the other co-worker turned against me just by bashing me behind my back and I am greatly hurt by her behavior.


Here's my side of the story, I meant to show up to work and let her take the day off. However, something came up where I forgot to call Paratransit because I ended up getting a day for New Year's and I got that confused day confused with Saturday. I had also forgotten that we were working Monday and so I ended up taking the day off, and she was mad. So, I got to work and that was when I got into a heated argument with her and mentioned that I was tired of her taking her problems out on other people and that I was not going to be talked like that and spent the whole day crying and feeling invisible because of what she did.

She has also been known to make plans to come to some get togethers that I have had in the past and she has never shown up. She has often never called me to tell me what is wrong and then tells me when she sees me. It's often, "I couldn't come because I had to take care of my husband." I ask her why she didn't call and it's, "Oh, I didn't have my phone with me."

In the meantime, I have to take Paratransit to get to work and that includes calling a day in advance or a Friday before a following Monday because the county cut the local route and so I am stuck taking a day off work.

How should I handle this? I had already sent her an e-mail and mentioned the situation with the bus and then offered to switch days off with her the next time something like this happens.

She is insane. I wouldn't take it personally. I know people like that at my work and I just don't give a sh**. This manner of thing is how NTs entertain themselves. Many people call it "drama queen", by which they mean they always have to have some dramatic interpersonal problem going on, so they have to CREATE a problem so they feel special.

As for how to actually handle it, if she keeps it up I'd tell the human Resources manager as a heads-up, like "Hey, i wanted to let you know that this person seems to have a problem with me, and here's the situation. I don't need you to DO anything, but I wanted you to be aware."
Then, just be superficially polite to the crazy lady and plaster a fake smile on your face, and ignore her when you can. If you meet her backbiting and nasty behavior with serene politeness, any decent people at your job will respect your equanimity.

Thanks for your input Malisha and she isn't an NT either. This co-worker has ADHD and some other issues.

I did also forget to mention that she has worked there for no more than two years, and I have worked there nearly 7. I told her that I had worked there for more than 6 years and that would not talk like that towards me.


I also decided, under all those tears to send her a polite professional memo-via-e-mail explaining the transportation system issues and then offered to switch off days with her the next time she had one scheduled. That way, if I forgot to contact paratransit, then she could take off the next day that I got back. I thought this wouldn't strike anymore problems for either of us or for anyone else for that matter.