What are the benefits of having friends?

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As a young child I once had a friend, but I don't really remember what it was like.

I think I would be able to make friends if I would be willing to do so. But in this case I would have to invest much time, and I fear these expenses exceed the benefits of having friends.

Meeting people involuntarily is already exhausting and often depressing, why then should I do it voluntarily?

Friends might help you move furniture, bring you soup when you're sick, give you presents on your birthday, and other such useful and pleasant things. They also help form a social network through which you can find jobs, romantic partners, and other opportunities. You are correct in the amount of work involved, though--to be a friend, you would have to do similar things for others in return, so if the cost-benefit analysis doesn't work out in your favor on such an exchange maybe you are better off being independent.

The best thing is you have someone who will listen when you have problems and try and make you feel better and/or give advice.

Social bonds do have their advantages in times of need and as a sounding board to help you interpret situations you come up against. I gave up on 'needing' friends at thirteen as the friends I had were throughally confusing, inconsistent and demanded much too much for what I got out of the relationship.

Interestingly enough though as soon as I dropped the effort people started to come to me to be friends. So I do have friends now, and I do now show a fair amount of social niceities to keep the bonds but don't go mad about it. Friends can be useful I think, and its useful to be friends with people you spend a fair amount of time with, at work or where ever, it just makes that time less difficult mostly.

Mainly I think friendship is for the times you get hit by a car, are too ill to get out of bed, can't drive your car, lose something, don't understand something, want to rant about whatever happened that day or need someone to feed the cat while you are on holiday, and of course its not so bad being there for someone else in those situations. I think its mainly the security you get to feel knowing that theres someone out there you could trust with your life.

if you have "friends", they will always be close by, and they can take discarded screwed up rubbish from your hand and dispose of it.

when i have to go to the office, and when i have some rubbish in my hand that i wish to dispose of, i always hand it to someone else. they usually take it without thinking, and then get angry and give it back.
i do like it when someone unthinkingly takes an empty soft drink bottle from my hand that i thrust in their direction.
when i screw up papers, i look for someone who is standing up, and i just hand the screwed up papers to them to find a bin to put them in.

"friends" will never hand you back anything you give them to dispose of.
they are good. they will put it in the bin. but sometimes they expect some sort of reward like being "talked to" or something. they get annoyed when i fail to make any connection with them after they have disposed of the things i hand them.
that is life in the big smoke.
but still, i could just drop my rubbish on the floor and let the cleaners deal with it later. that would save having to talk to "friends" who dispose of my rubbish that i hand them.

there are many dilemmas in life.

i do not really have "friends" in any real sense. i have some people who find me very entertaining. they will do as i ask so i will not tell them to go away from me.
they are not really "friends" but "audiences".

all people are not me. i do not really care if any other brain ever or never switches on to me.

i have limited "love" capacity, and i do not really require other people to feel complete.

company. i supose, its not so bad being alone but nobody wasnt ment to be alone forever. although too much friend time and it becomes a hastle

in all the articles i ever read about "finding friends" (i read 2) there were never any pictures. they did not show photo's of the people (potential friends) they were talking about, so, while the advice may have been good, they gave no idea photographically of who to apply it to.
so it was useless.

If you think that a person is exhausting and making you depressed, do not have that person as a friend. Find friends that you like spending time with, and friends that accept you for who you are. My friends are accustomed not seeing me for months...

Friends can be very useful. You might enjoy the practical benefits of having friends when you suddenly need help for any reason, for example during illness or for transportation. (I never figured out how a loner would get home from an outpatient operation if they are not in a state to drive themselves, at least in my area where there is pretty much no public transportation.) There are also emotional benefits of course, but not everyone needs them.

That said, I completely agree with you. What does one do to get friends anyway... is there a nice detailed manual out there? It's difficult and often distressing just being with normal people for small amounts of time and making minimal interaction. And maintaining friendships is a lot of work, to understate.

We all need someone to turn to in both good and bad times.

I understand the need to be alone, yet we do need to speak to "regular people" or in our case "irregular people" .

Recently I had a computer problem, and a friend who knows I have AS was able to help me.

About a year ago I had a situation with my old land lord, and another friend helped me out , and helped me move to another apartment.

Yes AS'ers do not form long lasting friendships, yet the friendships you do form can be helpful in many ways.

You may need "advice" from someone when you have a problem, and you friend may ned information on AS that only you can provide.

I hope this has been helpful.

Pretty much. I mean, we're not all-knowing, and it helps to have people who can help introduce you to knew things, or bring a new perspective into your life. Mostly, it's good to know people who can provide advice, seeing as life throws ALL KINDS of situations at you, and they may have insight that would make it easier to approach whatever you're up against. Or they may have connections or resources that would benefit you. And hey, hanging out with people, whether they're fellow aspies or NTs, is healthy.

Pardon? I disagree; the only friends I maintain are long held and established... most of the people that are in my life, I have known for a minimum of 7 years and some as many as 20. Those who are worth knowing, are worth keeping to me.


M.

Well friends give you company, you can share stories and problems with them, have a laugh with them etc.
Friends should know you well enough to know when something is wrong and stuff like that.
the friends I've had have been great (the ones that lasted)

Christmas and Birthdays.

Being invited out for meals/coffee.

You have to remember to return any favours of course .

Knowing you have one.

Someone to talk to if you're lonely.

If you're under 21 (I'm not) you can pay them to buy alcohol for you.

Well, I'm lonely ALOT. I think I need friends. I can't make it through with my internet buddies and my best friend IRL.

I would say:

Fun, something to keep you occupied, people to comfort you, make you feel good about yourself.