Is this just the way things are?

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I dont know about you aspies, but Im one of those aspies who dislike not being themselves and have trouble putting on a mask for people. Recently Ive learned how to mask up certain parts of myself to be liked by the people I hangout with. I just feel the people Ive been hanging out with dont really fit with me. I have to mask half of myself in order to fit in. I was discussing this with my professor whos like a mentor to me. He said that was just the way things are. I just feel like if these are my group of "friends", I should be able to relax myself a bit more and not feel so reserved, too much anxiety problems, being constantly afraid that I will say something out of line. Theres only 2 friends who I feel that I can relax a bit and let my guard down a bit. Not to say, I can completely relax and completely do what I want. Its been bugging me lately. So the point of friendship and establishing community to put on a mask so your liked?

Well, there are only going to be 1 or 2 friends that you can really be yourself around, truly be yourself. Anyone who says they have more than 2 friends like this is lying out their ass or doesn't understand what I'm saying. Many people don't even have one friend like this. So yes, this is the way it is. You should be able to be yourself, but that is too idealistic. There's a whole laundry list of how things "should" be, but they aren't that way.

Now, as far as putting on a mask, all you have to do is not blurt out random things, or anything else of that nature that stands out immediately. Everyone wears a mask, it's just that those people are less socially awkward. You will always be yourself in any situation, whether you are pretending or not.

Maybe this is just the way things are...I personally don't put on a mask, I'm uncensored.

With people in general I try to put on a mask, or at least I try to act 'normal' but just can't manage it, and once I start getting to know people better my real personality comes through which stands out like a sore thumb against any mask I try to hide behind, it just doesn't work for me to try to hide or be anyone different. With friends I can be me, fully me - the arrogant, loud, opinionated, uncensored, bossy, silly, goofy me - if I wasn't me those friends wouldn't like me, if I wore a mask they'd not love me as they do...masks are for NT's, I think we're above that.

I have three friends like that, they're family to me. but that's changing because I'm changing. It's hard seeing how I'm a little different now by choice, and having to make a distinction between you and such friends. Especially when you created the group yourself.

with what I described there were no masks & funny to blurt out things at times, all of us, because I must always mention/bring up a thing.

I am quite certain I can keep my friends only for when I am building my life with helping hands.

_________________
Turn away from all the things of men- Turn away from the old deeds of sin- Turn away (,follow me,) ta never feed what's been- Turn away -- Jesus
the five senses are overrated
So, what is this relating thing you speak of?

I realize we can never completely let our guards down but I just wanna be able to not feel like I cant just be myself. The people I hang out with, its strange they attempt to build an idealistic community of happinest and plesantries. Due to the fact that making friends has always been hard, I started hanging out with them because they were "nice". When you get to know people, idealistically different parts of you start to show. For me, I could only take things to a certain point then I stopped. I just think, I should be able to let my guard down a least a little bit. Maybe not fully but to the point where things are at least comfortable.