Getting bullied without realising it & not noticing sarc

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I have a problem in that up until recently I kinda thought that most people in the world were inherently nice people. However, a friend of mine mentioned in passing to a new acquaintance of ours, that I was a 'really really nice person and I don't have a single bad bone in my body and I don't even realise when I am being taken the piss out off or when people are horrible to me because I am so nice & so happy'.

Not bad comments you may think. But up until then I hadn't realised that I hadn't been 'getting taken the piss out of' or not 'getting' the sarcasm. Don't get me wrong - I knew that Aspie's don't get sarcasm sometimes, but I never thought it affected me that much. Ignorance is bliss you might say.

But now it's worrying me that people I thought of as friends are not actually my friends and in fact I may be getting taken advantage of on a regular basis. When people say I am looking nice, do I actually look nice or are people being sarcastic? Do I really look like I've lost weight? Is my hair a nice colour really?

Should I even care what other people think of me?

Well... I kinda do. It's turned my world upside down. The rose tinted specs I have been seeing people through have cracked & crumbled. It makes me very sad that I could be being used or disliked. Or even that people I spend time with may not like me. In fact , my logical mind is telling me now that it's likely that some people that I know may have even avoided me in the past. I don't know what to do - It's kind of like finding out that Father Christmas isn't real - you can't pretend ever again that he is - so I have started avoiding people, I'm getting panic attacks again and I don't really know where I stand in the world.

I wish someone would tell me the truth. Why can't people just be honest? Surely the world would be a much better place if we were more transparent? I know I shouldn't care - yet I really really do.

Does anyone else have this self - doubt? Have you got over it? How ?

For the off-topic limey slang: "pissed" can also mean "drunk".

For the on-topic issue:
Try not to think too deeply into your friend's backhanded compliment. It's possible that she reads more into situations than they need to be or that you haven't really missed anything and she's referring to one very odd situation where you missed it for whatever reason.

You've been getting along fine. Just keep on going as you are.

As long as no one's complaining, I don't think there's a problem. In fact, there's a lot of risk in running in the other direction and assuming that everything has an alterior motive. I had a similar incident, took the wrong lesson, and wound up turning more people off through paranoia and social phobia than anything else. If someone has a real problem, they'll let you know.

i dont think most good nice people would be too fake with you to just be hanging out for no reason. the comments you mentioned (like nice hair, you have loss weight, havent you?) you should take as compliments and nothing more. as far as if you are being taken advantage of, i say go with your gut feeling first. and dont care what other people think. people mock/criticize/ignore/berate things and people that they dont understand. its human nature. some of it can be good natured...while others can be twisted manipulating lying cheating egotistical arrogant pieces of crap. how to differ between the two is subjective to one's own interpretation.

Alot of people say things that arent true without even relising there doing it. Its so hidden deep in the pyche that its almost like breathing

I have the same problem. I'm nice to everyone and I never realize when people are mocking me or being sarcastic. Sarcasm is one of my major weaknesses.

I often worry about stuff like this too. One way that I use to try to tell if people actually like me is if they come up and sit down with me if I'm on my own. Most of my friends do (although sometimes they also seem to need a break from me, or there will me someone more interesting around--I've just had to get use to that).