Fidget wrote:
Wow, I haven't posted here in forever! Anyways, I was wondering how my fellow aspies deal with situations when it comes to meeting new people. I really like people but at the same time because of my AS I really suck at keeping interesting conversation going, which makes meeting up with a new friend to hang or something extremely awkward for me. I never realize this much until I'm put into a situation where I have to go outside of my normal group of friends. It would surely seem ridiculous to people not on the spectrum since it's just a friendship, but as you all probably know, forming a bond with someone new is probably one of the scariest and most difficult things for someone on the spectrum. Bah, relationships are so much easier, because there are a more clear-cut set of rules of what's expected of you on a date, and you can always fill in awkward silences with intimacy or flirty comments.
I don't deal with it as well I could. About the last two years, I've had MORE trouble with it. There are times I can't avoid it, in fact, it would unprofessional to avoid some situations, so I have to make myself go. Before I go, I try to concentrate on everything BUT the meeting, and actually head for the meeting trying not to think about it: only pleasant, relaxing things. It helps. If I think relaxing things, but facial expression will be more relaxed and nothing will cue another person into my weirdnesses. I can smelly a snotty person a mile away, so I gauge my behavior for the first five minutes by the vibe I'm getting. If I get the snotty vibe, I put on my snot-attitude, but I don't put too much "on" it. It's disarming for a snot. If I get the folksy vibe, I can relax.
I do silence really well. I don't find silence all that awkward, but I CAN sense others' awkwardness. I agree, relationships are easier. I've no problems with the husband, mom, or very few but very close friends.
07 Feb 2011, 3:37 am
