Online friendship troubles

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I don't really think that it's optimistic to just say, "hi!" on your very first forum post and then rant. lol

Anyway, I had been grumbling over this really stupid "fight" with my former best online friend on deviantArt for almost half a year. And I can't even rant about this problem around my other friends on dA thoroughly, because they might turn against me too.

FIrst things first, my ex best friend N (Which is all I'll reveal about his name) and I met on dA at around the end of 2009. We both like to draw cartoons. And we both thought that we could make it big into deviantArt popularity for the potentials we have. (He especially felt the same way with me.) Anyway, we slowly started to become friends. But at the same time, I've been an pessimistic person too. We asked for each other's msns' and we began to chat almost every day for almost around 4 hours that we were that close. I probably ranted at him occasionally. But he was one heck of a guy to talk to-- even though our conversations can be repetitive and inappropriate. haha Then, at around the end of last year, he had been really sober. Maybe around the same level I am or even higher. He had a really rough time and even tried to commit suicide. I tried to get him to know that I'm there for him, but he did listen, and then became depressed again. I wanted to cheer him up. Which gave me a really stupid idea that i should be more raunchy to him. I regret it too much now, because lately, he had been blocking me in everything i have in contact with him on and off nonstop. I'm not really sure whether he has a new attitude towards me for no reason or what i've said to him, the raunchy comments, the rants, ect. I tried apologizing-- but no matter what, I really don't think i'll ever be able to talk to him again. And what's also stupid is that on deviantArt, he is being more social to everyone on deviantArt and getting more exposure. N and I have the same amount of years of drawing-- so we could be on the same level of skill, but everyone I know there thinks of him as an intermediate leveled artist so they give him more phrase and than with me. Everyone else just thinks that I'm an amateur who needs to draw from life, so they don't comment on my art that much, not even critiquing me when I don't ask. I'm trying to get around the site more and comment on other people's art, but no-one still wants to look at my gallery either. So here he is-- getting a lot more phrase and therefore almost rubbing it in my face while I'm all alone and sober. I'm trying to get over this, but I really can't in the end.

Yes, I know that all of this is too ridiculous for being online drama. I also may've forgotten some details too and i'm not sure if this is on the right forum, but yeah.

Eh. dA is dA. It can get complicated with pageviews, critiques, ect. How long have you been a member?

Perhaps I should've mentioned that I've been on dA for only a half year so far. Eh, perhaps things will get better a couple more years.