Can an Aspie...

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Can an Aspie tend to be completely devoted to one person, yet seem like the rest of the world doesn't matter. Staying generic here, but for me, I am only close to one person, and they are the only one I can talk to without too many problems arising such as my crappy speech. And for everyone else, and I don't mean to start a fight here, I really couldn't care any less. I feel as though I'm emotionless towards everyone else, but towards my girlfriend, she is the only one I can be myself with. I'm afraid to be myself with anyone else. Talking with anyone else, my speech slurs, studders, clutters, goes too quiet, too high, etc. I feel clumsy around people, often bumping into things if I'm around people, or knocking things over. Like you would if your nervous. Because when I'm around people, I feel like I'm constantly being observed and judged. Except for with one person. Now to clarify, I don't even know if I'm autistic. It's a theory I have had for a while, but I was never diagnosed. I've always been the way I am, but lately its been getting far worse. So, I'm reaching out. Help?

Advice, can't say I have any. I'm pretty much in the same situation. I met my husband in high school. We're coming up on 20 years together and for the first time we are going through a rough patch. He's the only person I feel a real sense of camaraderie - true partners. More, he's the only one I want to feel that connection.

To either of you, is the person you are close to (husband/girlfriend) of a similar personality type? For me, I am also really only concerned with one person in my life outside of close family. She is not like me however (out-going, liked by everyone, normal). I really don't know how we got together in the first place now that I think about it. I would have guessed I only could have been this close with someone who is "like" me. It's surprising.

My husband is outgoing and everyone seems to like him. He can walk up to anyone and say just about anything and next thing you know they're chatting like old army buddies.

But, he is very, very smart so I think he may have some difficulty finding real peers - you know, people he can have meaningful conversations with.

So in a way he is like me, but at the same time, he's not like me.

I seem to have said a lot without really saying anything.

Yes, I am stuck in that situation with my close friend and am attempting to get out of it by hanging out with my other friend.

yes i used to be that way in my romantic relationships back in high school and college. i think everyone has that first true love as i had mine when i was 16 and we were only together for like 3 months.she moved across the country a few months after our relationship ended and it took me a good 2 years to get over her. she told me i was too possessive which in hindsight i agree with. and then 2 years later i had a much deeper, long term relationship with a girl for 2 years and that took like a good 4-5 years before i truly got over her. as it was when we were together we heavily relied on one another and didnt hang out with anyone else much. and since it was her who ended the relationship, that made me cynical and more cautious to pursue any sort of romantic relationship for awhile.

i have learned a lot from those experiences, some good , some bad. but i feel as long as i have learned and i am really moving on and wanting that next big relationship to be in my life, im bound to find it sooner or later. and even though it can be painful and make you suicidal as all hell, no girl/no relationship is worth killing yourself over. you'll get over it eventually with time. i wouldnt wish that type of torment to anyone where you have devoted yourself to just one person, and in just one day, they come up and tell you "hey its not working out, im moving on, etc" and you're there feeling so distraught, lonely, betrayed and confused that nothing now makes sense. but thats what love is all about. heartbreak and loneliness. lol.

I'm also devoted to one person, there's only one person whose opinion I really value. I just don't think she realises it. I feel like I can tell her everything and I really need her.

But here's my problem: she used to be my music teacher, I think that's the reason why she's important for me. Most other friends call me up to get together far too much, I don't like that, so I push them away. Since she's my teacher, I used to see her once a week, and sometimes wandering around in de corridors, but she'd never call me to get together.
At the moment she's the only one who can call me anytime, and I allways want to see. She became the only one I really trust so far. She just doesn't know, I'm not even sure if she thinks about me as a friend at all...

Another question. It sounds like some of you are devoted to a romantic partner (past or present) and others its someone who you are not attached to romantically? For me. it was definitely the past romantic connection that holds that strong bond. I'm still honestly trying to get over that aspect. And it's so bad when the only person you want to talk about the situation is also a part/a cause of that situation. For those with romantic connection, was it your first?

Hmmmm.

I think of myself as a person who can be social but on my own terms and my own way and Im about as flexible as a stick when it comes to that so I perhaps come across a bit selfish but Im fine that way.I like it my way, but.........
then I might miss someone, like a romantic partner, but....again, then the problem would arise again I think, with me being social with them on my own terms, hmm.I guess Id have to make them my obsession *lmao*....no thats a joke...

compromise or something,

but I know what you mean.,I dont have advice but I think I can relate a little.

I'm extremely attached to my roommate...in a non-romantic way. I've always been a one-person type person and I've been living with him for a little over two years. He's the only one I can be myself around and if I don't see or talk to him multiple times a day I will panic. Its not very healthy, but I can't help it. I don't care to be around other people for very long...it gets actually painful. I've always been this way. I just latch onto one person and won't let go. I'll make it clear tho...he's not my boyfriend. We are a tad affectionate at times, but we've never been romantically involved. Neither of us are really interested in that. He brings home girls and I don't mind...as long as I know our relationship won't be affected. I consider him my family.

I've been very attached to this friend i had last year, i thought he was cute but at the same time i didnt see him in a boyfriend sort of way... I guess cute things just make me happy shame he moved away

Haha " cute things just make me happy"

I love that
when applied to people *lol*

I can be the same way.Im easily fascinated it seems.

I think Aspies do well with extremely empathic and outgoing people. I also had a friend who was really popular with everyone and she was the complete opposite of me, but our personalities really complimented well. These popular types have a hard time finding a true friend. Everyone idolizes them, or is jealous of them, or the have these "frenemies". When popular people need loyalty and an honest friend, Aspies are ideal for the job because we can be really loyal. I don't know how to express alot of emotions, but somehow my friend was so intuitive and empathic, she knew when I needed a hug. Funny thing is, I never liked being hugged, not even by my parents. Somehow it actually felt good which was strange to me, because I usually feel like I'm being engulfed.