Why am I so invisible at school? None likes me there ither?

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I am male and 17 with ASD?AS and I noticed that people at school never come up to talk to me and I am easily ignored and forgotten about at school. None knows who I am and when someone mentions my name people go "who?" even if I talk to the person like a week ago. I barely say 100 words a day to other people and I am kind of depressed a little and have self esteem issues. I am also hated by people at school. If I don't know them at first I then get to know them especially if I am in a group with them for like half of the year they start to get annoyied with me and hate me for some unknown reason. I never keep a long relationship with anyone and I always end up making the other person mad and I have trouble talking to people because I am to shy and nervious. I am a nice person but everyone does not want to talk to me. I do nothing special with my time off and there is not much I do on the weekends as well.There are no clubs at my school I checked and I think that there are not ither. What can I do to improve my socail skills?

Do you know why they start to get annoyed with you and hate you? Did you ask them why? May not be easiest thing to do accepting criticism from other people but may give you some insight what is going wrong. Once you have that insight then you can improve your social skills.

What do you with your time off? Nothing special is not a answer, must be doing something. You may not think its anything special but could be something special to someone else who has a similar interest. But if you don't think its special and not talk about it with other people how are they going to know? You might be surprised and find someone who spends their time doing the same thing or can relate with you. Some people might be critical of what you do with your time, but that is just their opinion not a fact.

Also read what other people write on the discussion forums, blogs and articles on this web site and other Aspie web sites. You can take that knowledge and decide for yourself what may need improving in your socials skills. What you are doing to make yourself seem unremarkable or cause people to grow tired of you in the long run. You can then try out what you decided needs to be changed and see if it worked or not. Your going to fail a lot and lose chances at being social and make friends. But we learn from our mistakes if we are willing.

You can also think about social groups outside your school. In high school I had a lot of success interacting with people at my local gaming store--it was a place where people played games like Warhammer, MagicTG and Dungeons and Dragons. The people there were more accepting of my quirks (since they were often pretty quirky themselves) and we could bond over our games. I've also met some great people through taking improv theater classes. Both the gaming community and the improv community tend to be pretty open and accepting; any chance you could get plugged into either group in your area? It doesn't have to be at your school--I would go to the gaming store on Friday nights, for instance.

user1001, let me tell you that when I was in high school I felt exactly the same way you did. Even when I was a senior, in class everyone but me would circle around and gossip, leaving me awkwardly to read a book or do some other task. I knew what people said about me in the hallways and at the parties I was never invited to, and like you, I considered myself a nice person. I never did anything to provoke these people, yet they ignored me, and if they couldn't ignore me they openly talked about me.

What I didn't realize at the time was that a large part of my awkward feelings was due to an unwillingness on my part to socialize with the people that genuinely would have cared about me. I chased the wrong crowds, and ended up driving "fake friends" away. I think that at the end of the day you have to be content with yourself, and self-confidence is a very attractive trait. If you think that you need more friends, try to find like-minded people. As "un-cool" as it sounds, I found that the people I had the most in common with were generally the least popular people in school. The kids at the chess club, the nerds, the misunderstood artists, etc. And you've already taken a step by coming to the WP community.

At at most I only ever achieved one extremely close friend in high school, and for an Aspie I think I did a little below average. I think you mostly just have to shrug off what people say, ignore those who could care less about you, and play to your own strengths.You'll know when you've found the right person to be friends with, because it won't matter to them that you seem a little "odd". They might even be a little "different", too. You'll feel comfortable and the conversation will flow naturally. Start slowly and work your way up into a group, maybe by hanging out with one person you think you can get along with, and then meeting their friends. The scary first step usually has to be yours, but I know you can do it. We can't always rely on the other person coming to us, especially because we have somewhat of a social disadvantage.

Ask yourself what you like to do. Is it sports? Video games? Photography? Singing? Church? If you can't find the support you need at school, I definitely encourage you to look outside the scholastic box and find a community event, if one happens to be available.. Don't be afraid to strike out and form your own group, if you have the option, and I think you'll be surprised by the number of people who feel the same as you.

Also, high school is but one small chapter in the rest of your life. I promise you that when you get to college (or whatever your post-graduate plans entail) you will definitely find a few friends. At 17 you have at most another year if you aren't a senior already. As I said previously, self-confidence can be the key to opening up a lot of relationships. What's important is that you know and keep true to yourself, and don't let anyone change you. You are just fine the way you are.

If you want to read a great book about a very special high school boy, I suggest you pick up a copy of "The Perks of Being a Wallflower" by Stephen Chbosky. It's a series of fictional letters written by "Charlie" to an anonymous person. I can't say that it helped me with my own social problems, but Charlie has a beautiful story; one I think you could identify with very much.

Best of luck to you, user1001

There was really nothing I could do with the lack of social connection in high school, except maybe moving to a whole new town, I actually had acquitances there, but college is where people are more relaxed and willing to talk to new people unlike stupid high school.