I have no friends and don't know how to make any.

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I don't like where my life is at. I'm living in Toronto and it's my second year of university and so far I have met absolutely nobody. Occasionally people talk to me in class but apparently my answers or manner of conversation are not what's expected because nobody ever talks to me again. I'm very anxious when meeting people and this makes me not act like myself, so I have an impossible time getting to know anyone.

I'm so afraid of being disliked that I freak out and act like a total weirdo. The only way I can meet people is online where I can take time between IMs to chill out and compose myself. My only friends have been made through the internet and we get along quite well now, but I'd really like to meet people that live in the same city as me.

Are there any aspie people from Toronto? Or is there like an aspie gathering place where awkward people can go and not feel like they're totally out of place? I'm so tired of being lonely that I'd consider going to a random gathering of aspie people if I knew that such a thing were taking place.

I hope this post doesn't bother anyone or anything. Thanks for any thoughts you may offer.

I don't have any friends...hope I'll get some soon as soon as I get a job....

I dunno... Having a job didn't help me it was just more of the same people who weren't interested in talking to that awkward shy person.
I'm so tired of not having any friends!

Have you ever juts gone to a party for the sake of stimulation?

I used to just go out and take walks to places I knew a lot of people would be.

It is often as easy as that. Going places and taking in life. I find the easiest way to learn is by observing.

Try that for a bit and see how it works out. Eventually you will pick up some of the social rhetoric.

I recommend joining a club that interests you such as science or mathematics or maybe even something as simple as knitting or crocheting club.

Good luck or as we say in theater break a leg

-Karl

welcome btw

im always hopeful about making friends when i get a new jobb.. but i never do.. i quit my last job because a couple of people judged me too harshly. . and i couldnt escape them.. it was ret*d, so i quit.. my attempt at trying to make a friend resulted in being harshly critiqued..

I know how you feel, I am 43 and still have a hard time meeting people. I always find myself saying messed up stuff and weirding people out. I went to a BBQ yesterday and had a very difficult time with the large number of (drunk) people there.
I befriend other artists/musicians and generally weird people easiestly. Makes me feel more at home.
Meet people online first, that way you can compose yourself and learn about the person before you meet them.
...and don't feel too bad, lots of people have a hard time meeting people.

I faced the same challenge. At age 17, my older sister volunteered to teach me some tricks how to socialize. Tell me what I was doing "wrong" or basically how to do it better. She helped me with the wardrobe and also took me out every other weekend all summer to social situations and showed me the knots and bolts of it. It helped that we were out of town so we sort of did not give crap about the outcome because we would probably not see those people again. Is there a sibling or cousin that could help you with this? Does your university have an office that provides services for students with disabilities? Mine did and they had paid student tutors that could help with any type of school related difficulty. (Sort of like a big sibbling) If your school does not have it, maybe you can suggest this. Maybe you can approach the school's chaplain and see if some student at church would volunteer to help you with this. Also at the beggining of each school year I volunteered with the International Student Office during orientation week. I came to realize that it was much easier making friends with foreign students because they were less judgemental as to how I should behave. (Basically, they figured that my corkiness had to do with the cultural differences.) I was able to make friendships in this circle. I also found that certain groups like the "environmentalists" and the "drama club" students were more open and actually celebrated differences and diversity more so than the rest of the student body. So, I would go to their meetings sometimes, sit at their lunch table, etc... Try to join a club that deals with something of your interest. That way you can talk about something in common. ANd get involved in some community project. When people have a goal in mind they tend to be more tolerant and may give you more of a chance. Good luck!

I highly recomend the Frankenstein method.

I know how you feel. I haven't made any new friends since 2005, and the few friends I made back then I ended up isolating myself from them; I don't even know if they even want to be my friend anymore.

Making friends is easy. Just smile, nod your head, pick up the tab, and never disagree.

Keeping them is hard, especially if you're honest.

Agreed. I've no problem listening- it's when I open my mouth that people switch off.

One thing I have picked up is that if you act like you don't need people (not too aloof, but just be more laid back), it's much eaier to get along with them. Also, you'll find you enjoy socialisation more (seriously, I never did it purely for enjoyment before this summer- I only did it becaue it was the 'done thing'). I met a lot of people travelling around by myself- naytime I started to stress out about what to say, or worried about something I just said, I told myself that I survived 20 years without knowing them, and I can survive equally well again when they're gone.

p.s. If you can, I suggest you go travelling. It doesn't have to be anywhere exotic, but staying at a youth hostel or shared accomodation allows you to meet loads of cool people (not just gap-year gangs out to get pissed) and if the fact that you only stay for a couple of days before moving on and meeting even more people allows you to start from scratch continuously and try different approaches to making friends. Hopefully, this will translate into 'real' life when you get home again!

That dosent always work. Thats what I thought before I got some job 2 years ago but then some girls ended up being b*****s toward me. My social awkwardness drove people away from talking to me. Meh the situation was complicated.

what if your interests are in sports, like basketball? kinda hard for nerds like me to be accepted by those kinds of guys who are jerks and intolerant of you for no reason.

just because they're sports jocks doesn't automatically mean they'd be dicks....and if your interest is in that, they might be more accepting and you're already a member of said team lol



didn't have that problem..then again I didn't have many friends and didnt get into that social politiking///

what's that...