MyWorld wrote:
Have you thought of joining any clubs? At least for next year? I'm a junior in college too and joining clubs helps. Have you lived in the dorms (if financially possible and it does not cause you any problems)?
I can't afford to live in the dorms, but I don't think I would anyway. I am a few years older than those students, and the dorms are very loud with lots of parties and drinking. I don't think I would like that kind of environment. I was in one society at school, but it kind of dissolved after the first year. Then I was in an off-campus group with the friend I had, but once she stopped hanging out with me, I saw it as "her" group, and never went back. I've tried doing a few things here and there on campus, but as soon as I open my mouth people don't want to talk to me anymore. I never realize why what I say is so wrong. It's just become easier to go to school, go to lecture, go home.
I think part of my problem is a lack of motivation as well. Even when I do get invited somewhere (though the last time was more than a year ago!) I always find an excuse not to go. I want friends because I fear being alone and hated for the rest of my life, but on the other hand, I don't take opportunities people sometimes give me. I am so socially awkward, I feel like I stick out like a sore thumb because of the way people end up treating me. It is just so awful to always be in this predicament, but I don't know how to overcome it.