Working on social skills- Successes and failures

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RossMc
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22 Apr 2011, 9:38 am

I have been consciously working on my social skills. I am mild to moderate AS only. As far as work goes, I have been successful. I have been promoted three times in the last six years, so now I am one of the 1.8 % of employees in the agency where I work who have reached the highest non-management rank. I have consistently raised my income- lately by working as much overtime as they will give me, plus working 10 hours a week at a second job.
Outside of work, my success is not so good. As for my by now grown-up children, we have a reasonably smooth and civil relationship, but they regard me as something annoying and idiotic. My love life sucks. and I don't have that many friends. Part of it is the mismatch between my work ethic and motivation. As an AS, I often feel like a worker bee surrounded by slackers. I have guts and persistence though, so I never give up. Two days ago, I asked out an attractive woman at work. She said no, but politely. There is a woman at work that I like too, and she clearly seems to like me- she always gets silly and giggly when I'm around, and can't keep her hands of me- Nothing really overt, but she is always rubbing my back and touching my arm etc. Still, she's married, spend hours reading the bible, and is my subordinate at work. Therefore, I would no doubt run into problems if I started something with her.



BTDT
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22 Apr 2011, 10:25 am

Yes, I would stay also stay away from the married woman--even NTs have trouble with those situations--we would be in way over our heads!

Social situations are tougher because they rely more on non-verbal communication than work situations. Romantic relationships are the toughest. Maybe it might help to join some sort of hobby club--maybe fishing, gardening, hiking... where you have fun and learn social skills at the same time. This will give you something to talk about besides work...



RossMc
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Joined: 3 Oct 2009
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22 Apr 2011, 10:57 am

Good advice- Thanks :!: